May 2016 - Going with the Flow

In this Issue: 
Reflections: Going with the Flow
Forthcoming events in Cornwall, Glastonbury, and online
Inspirational links: Books and talks

Reflections: Going with the flow

'Going with the flow' - has been emerging as a repeating theme just recently. On reflection I recall that years ago someone suggested this image to me: often I cling on to the banks, to overhanging trees, rocks - anything; breaking my fingernails, bruising my fingers; clinging on desperately to where I am, where I think I should be. So, what if I just let go, let the flow take me down the river? Not struggling, certainly not drowning, just being carried along with no effort. At that time I was in one of those 'hamster wheel' situations where I thought I could not possibly stop clinging on - a lot has changed since then. And yet...... the image arising now is equally powerful.



Where am I going? Am I going with the flow?  And if I am, what does that mean? Is it giving in, or is it just letting life carry me along for a while? Will I pause to consult the wisdom of the ancient trees along the banks? (Such as the one in the photo above, taken on the River Fowey near Respryn Bridge a year or so ago).

Do you know, I thought I would be writing a long piece about this, but I now find I have no words today. I feel I need to allow myself to be with the flow instead of trying to 'do' it.  And I will leave you to do the same with a few prompts for your journal or meditation as usual:

- Are you clinging on too tightly to the banks of your river?
- What would it feel like to let go?
- What would it be like to drift very gently downstream, safe in a little boat, able to look around you?

As you will see in the events notices below, Cas has chosen a theme for the workshop she is hosting very much in line with my thoughts - whether it is coincidence or synchronicity, who can say?

Forthcoming events in Cornwall, Glastonbury, and online

Near Bodmin on Saturday 14 May: A Dare to Blossom at Home event - sponsored by Flying Lizard Design. There are just a few spaces still left, so please contact Cas or me to book.

  

Glastonbury on Saturday 21 May: A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving Forward with Ease and Grace" 
I have mentioned details of this in earlier newsletters, so a brief summary here, and full details are on the website link. The time is 10-4, at the Miracles Room. New for this month is the 'Bring a Friend' offer - book for the two of you for £90, a price of £45, saving £15 each. Any questions please do contact me with by replying to this if you are reading it in your email, or via the website. If you have already booked, you can still claim a place for a friend and take advantage of the discount.



The workshop on this theme at Hayle on 16 April was a very special morning, with some profound insights emerging for those present. With the luxury of a full day I have some extra activities and suggestions to share that will deepen the experience for those of you who can join us.

Online 20 June - 15 July: A Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom
For those of you who would like to explore even more and those who cannot reach Cornwall or Glastonbury to attend in person - a chance to join a secret Facebook or email group to share a month of magic carpet riding. Full details are here.



The Early Bird price is £19 for bookings before 21 May, £29 once that date has passed. Here is the outline programme, more details will be added to the website and the Facebook event page as time goes on.

The group will begin gathering as soon as you sign up, once the decision is made the process begins for you. A week beforehand I will begin inviting you to start tuning in and preparing and add you to the private group on Facebook (or an email group if you prefer, just contact me to sign up for that).

Week One 20 June: Find your spark
Week Two 27 June: Move forward with ease and grace
Week Three 4 July: Go with the flow - find your hidden river
Week Four 11 July: Coming home to yourself

Hayle on Saturday 25 June: A Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom
We will be back at the beautiful Heliodor Wellbeing Centre again for a morning of midsummer magic carpet riding.



More details on the website here. Several people have already booked for this event, and you may like to take up the Early Bird offer too - and that ends on 31 May. If you have attended a workshop with me in the past at the Heliodor Wellbeing Centre in Hayle there is a very special price for you of £20.

We will be back in Hayle again on 24 September.

Inspirational Links: Books and talks

I have a great 'reading pile' this month.

Just finished The Other Side of the River by Eila Carrico, published by Womancraft Publishing I wrote a review on Amazon here.  Still to read from the same publisher, The Heart of the Labyrinth by Nicole Schwab.

Others in my 'yet to read' heap are Rhyme and Reason - The Poetry of Leadership by Sam Chittenden, who I met at a conference workshop a few years ago. And from Brene Brown Rising Strong. Looking forward to the weather warming up at last so I can sit in the garden and read.

Two TED talks this month, both recommended by Amy Palko and I heartily agree

Thandi Newton on "Embracing otherness, embracing myself"

Barbara Sher on "Isolation is the dream-killer, not attitude"

As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter

April 2016 - Daring

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
 
Reflections: Daring

Choosing the title of 'Daring' for these reflections, has grown out of a piece I wrote on 26th March in one of my daily Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card posts on my business Facebook page.

That was prompted by two cards: 'Beginnings' and 'Self-love'. Here is that piece for those of you who may not have seen it:

"Beginnings, with the deep green, is of course perfect for the spring here in the northern hemisphere, and for Easter with the themes of death and rebirth. Re-emergence after the winter, new buds, green shoots.

Self-love, soft purple colour. Today, this relates closely for me to reflections prompted by the book I have just finished reading: 'Daring Greatly' by Brene Brown. Like many of you, I have watched some of her TED talks, but this is the first book of hers I have read.

The sub-title is "How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead." In the book Brene describes her research and shares interview stories, with her own experiences included. I found myself nodding and recognising so much of what she writes about. The way many of us are subjected (and subject ourselves) to shame when all we need to recognise is guilt. She defines the difference as shame being 'I am bad.'; guilt being 'I did something bad.' (substitute any word - wrong, stupid, etc.....) The first is about you as a person, the second about one particular action, which may have been a mistake but can be learned from.

Admitting and sharing vulnerability is a way to connect with others and heal the wounds these things cause, and learn how to give and receive feedback in ways that avoid the damage occurring in the future.

This time of new beginnings, since I returned to running Dare to Blossom as a full time business, has for me brought back many of the feelings of vulnerability and memories of past experiences that rocked my confidence severely.

One of these happened over six years ago now, and whether the people who took the actions they did intended it or not, I felt I was 'not good enough'. The emotions that this experience raises for me even now, tell me how much this impacted on me.
On page 188, Brene writes about this in the world of work: "Shame breeds fear. It crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust. And worst of all, if we don't know what we are looking for, shame can ravage our organisations before we see one outward sign of a problem."

Someone said to me, over a year after that initial crushing experience, 'Where did Mary go?" I have learned over the years since, and reading this book as brought clearly into focus, that Mary was hiding, afraid to come out and be her true self.

'The courage to be vulnerable' as Brene puts it is often not comfortable, and she talks of making discomfort normal, of showing people that growth sometimes stretches us so much it is painful, and that is OK. If parents, employers, teachers can model being vulnerable themselves and support others in doing the same, then everyone benefits.

As you know, I don't usually write such a long piece, [referring to my Facebook posts] and it feels a little scary to share here, a little vulnerable. By doing so I hope it may help some of you to reflect, as reading this book has done for me. Brene Brown has written two books before this one, both of which I hope to read ('The Gifts of Imperfection', and 'I thought it was just me (but it isn't)'), and one later work 'Rising Strong' - which was the one that first attracted me. Here is her website http://brenebrown.com, where you can also find links to her TED talks and other videos.

Returning to my two words - Self-love feels like a necessary preparation and companion for new beginnings."

Since I wrote that, I have been reflecting some more. Everything I have been doing over recent months seems to have been challenging me to own my vulnerability and have the courage to go forward anyway. Recently I 'dared' to try something new, which so far has not had the results I had hoped (more about this below under 'Events'). Debating with myself what to do about this, reading Brene's words and hearing her speak, has reminded me that if I have to refocus, rearrange or cancel something new I am trying out, it is not because 'I'm no good at this.' It is for all sorts of reasons, some of which I maybe could have influenced by doing things differently, and some I could not.

Later I decided to do some painting to free up my thinking, and to simply play. I had fun with some coloured pens and made a border with the wax medium.



A challenge to myself, as the name of my business has always been. The answer is yes - and also that sometimes I ask for support. Sometimes I withdraw for some reflection and self-care. Sometimes I dare to shine like this tulip is shining - using the fleeting highlight of a ray of sunshine to glow even more gloriously. (Apologies for the photo quality - I had to take it through the window on the iPad, and very quickly - not to mention being 'helped' by Edie, one of our little cats.)



Here are my three words together: as often happens when people are working with them in coaching sessions, the combination of the words and the colours brings an expanded message for me.



For you: in your reflections in your journal or meditations:

- Do these words, either individually or together, prompt any thoughts for you?
- Note your first responses and then ask yourself: 'What else is there?'
- Explore the words using this question as long as you wish.

Events

The most effective way to tell you about the continuing series of 'Magic Carpet Ride' Workshops is to share the words of Ruth, who attended one of the 'Rediscover your Spark and Focus' events earlier this year:

"Dear Mary
What a wonderful 3 hours spent with you and the others on the Magic Carpet Ride: Rediscovering Your Spark and Focus. I didn't know what to expect and I certainly didn't expect the transformation I felt during my time with you all!. I would never have imagined that I could feel so different, so focused in such a short time and I can definitely say that as a result I have 'Rediscovered my Spark and Focus'. After a hard 18 months or so I can now say that I am ready to move on and the ideas that keep springing into my mind since the Magic Carpet Ride are phenomenal. Thank you so much and I would highly recommend that anyone who has lost their direction in any aspect on their life's journey join you at one of your workshops."

Hayle: Magic Carpet Ride Workshops - there are three more events planned here this year, and maybe another will be added in November, currently the dates are Saturday 16th April (more details below), Saturday 25 June, and Saturday 24 September, all gathering at 9.30 am for a 10.00 am start and running through to 1.00 pm. Each event, while based around the magic carpet ride guided visualisation process, has a different theme and people are finding that they wish to return to subsequent workshops after attending one. Thank you to those of you doing that, it is affirming and supportive for me. The theme for the next one emerges over time - and I will soon explore what may be coming up later in the year and give you some more information.
 

A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace - Hayle 16th April

This event is nearly fully booked, so please if possible contact me direct to book rather than via the PayPal link. If you are inspired to be there I am sure there will be a place for you. Click on the picture to visit the website for more details. The price given on the website after the Early Bird Price ended on 31 March is £28 per person, as a regular newsletter reader I can offer you a place at £25. Again, contact me direct to book. Also, if you attend one workshop, every one you come along to this year will be £20 for you as a thank you.



 

Glastonbury: A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace - full day workshop 21 May

On Saturday 21 May we will be sharing a full day magic carpet riding at the beautiful Miracles Room in Glastonbury. When I ran the workshop there last year it was a half day during the week. The feedback I received was that people would prefer a full day, and for it to be on a Saturday. So that is what we are doing this time, gathering at 9.30 am for 10.00 am start, and ending at 4.00 pm. This will allow a more in-depth exploration of the themes and the insights arising, plus time to share conversation over a leisurely lunch at the cafe in the Courtyard. If you are staying close to Glastonbury, or do not have too far to travel home, you may also wish to spend some time in the town visiting one of the many special places there. Click on the photo for full details.



The cost per person is £60, with a special price for newsletter subscribers so please email via this link to ask questions and to book. There is the option to pay a deposit of £20, and also some places at concessionary rates.
 

Wadebridge: Dare to Blossom in Business "Refresh and Refocus your Business" - full day workshop Friday 22 April

This new programme begins on Friday 22 April 10-4, at the Paddock Room, Hawksfield, near Wadebridge. This is the part mentioned in my reflections piece, that I have had to review. Yesterday I took the step of asking for support, asking for help  and feedback. Thank you so much to the people who responded so positively, your help led smoothly to the decision to restructure the pricing.

You now have a choice: you can book the workshop alone for £55 per person. If you would like one or more follow-up coaching sessions on Skype or phone, then you can book up to three at £40 each for the full 60 minutes. Full details are to be found here.

If you have any questions please just contact me by replying to this email. Everyone has the opportunity to book a complementary 20 minute consultation to find out if Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Coaching will suit your requirements from coaching support.

If you feel you cannot spare time for a whole day away from your business or prefer to work one-to-one, contact me so we can discuss a tailored programme for you. I can also provide in-house workshops and coaching programmes to refresh and inspire you and your team together.

Dare to Blossom at Home events

These are held in your own home and tailored to you and your guests. I am delighted to be working with two people at present who have booked dates. One person has asked me to help promote for her (you can choose if you would like me to do this, or to simply invite your own circle of friends and family) - this one is on Saturday 14 May, in a very special spot on Bodmin Moor. Contact me if you are interested in this and I will send you more details once they are finalised. In the meantime click on the photo for general information.



As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter

March 2016 - Coming Home

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
 In this Issue: 
New logo
Reflections: Coming Home
Events
Inspirational links

New Logo
You may have noticed the new logo - this was designed by the talented graphic designer Cas Smirthwaite of Flying Lizard Design. She has also made new banner designs for me for the forthcoming Cornwall Business Show. I am delighted with the fresh approach and although I remain very attached to my original photograph of the passionflowers, I feel this represents my newly refreshed business as I continue to dare to blossom.

Reflections: Coming Home
Sitting in the garden on a rare (for this winter) sunny day, wondering what the theme will be for my reflections this month. Smiling at myself - wrapped up in layers of warm clothes - and a sun hat. There is a chill wind blowing in the trees around me. It feels like a March wind even though it is still February as I write. Crows cawing; small birds singing; two young cats (no longer really kittens) playing rough and tumble nearby.

I can also hear hammering from work on the conversion of old farm buildings, saving them from decline and ruin and giving them a useful purpose once more. Observing, observing not only the sights and sounds around me - ooh, the flutter of a sparrow's wings almost ruffles my hair as it shoots past low over my head. Observing also my chain of thoughts - that take me next to remembering that despite the conversion of the buildings, we have seen barn owls again recently. And what a glorious full moon has been shining the last few nights.

Not random thoughts, even if the chain that links them seems tenuous or even disconnected. They are, in reality, very much connected. Linked to this place, this physical place, my home for almost forty years now. And connected with my internal home, myself. This past year, in fact the past several years - have been a process of coming home to myself.

Only very recently, as I continue to focus on refreshing and renewing my coaching work under Dare to Blossom, has this seemed to open out into new potential. Into the rediscovery, not only of myself, but of my power within, my sovereignty (to use one of my words for this year).

This has been about recognising and reclaiming many lost or overlooked parts of myself - and about reintegrating them into my life. I was going to say 'my working life', but my intention is to create a life. A life that includes work and that also has a good balance of all the other things that are important to me. Now, for me, (unlike in the past) I feel there is no separation between these essential aspects of me, and my business.



Art, creativity, health, spirituality, family, friends, walking, nature, reading - all these things are part of me - part of the 'myself' I am coming home to at last. Including the work I love to do. I have begun to realise that all my past experience is becoming integrated - many of those experiences have been uncomfortable, even painful at the time. I don't believe that bad experiences are necessary, but they are the way most of us learn what we need to know - in coping, in finding strength within we had no idea we possessed, in coming through.

The more I allow myself to live a life I love, to allow it flow with ease and grace (my other two words for this year) - then the more I have to offer to others.

For you, to reflect in your journal or meditations:
- which missing parts of yourself are you longing to reclaim?
- childhood pastimes
- Art, writing, nature, walking, skipping, collecting stamps.........
- how can you bring some of these back into your life? (you could choose one to start with and then, once you have had a play with that, try another if you wish)

Some of this exercise can be revealing, and yes, maybe a little painful if you are reminded of missed opportunities. Be gentle with yourself and have fun with the activity you choose to begin with. As one of my tag-lines goes 'Live a life you love. Start here, start today - if not now, when?'

As I write this a new programme for 'Dare to Blossom in Business' is evolving - you will see details of this below.

To end these reflections I would like to thank once again all the amazing coaches and supporters I have around me - each of you has offered me something unique and special. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here is the poem, by John O'Donohue, that originally inspired me to think it was even possible to 'come home to myself':

"To come home to yourself.
May all that is unforgiving in you
Be released
May your fears yield their deepest tranquilities
May all that is unlived in you blossom
into a future graced with love."
www.johnodonohue.com

Events
My diary is looking very interesting now, I love how this year of 2016 is developing and flowing with new connections and opportunities. Here are some of those in case they are of interest to you. Most are local to me here in Cornwall, so my apologies if you are not within traveling distance - though you may have friends who are and may be interested.

3 March TME Networking Lunch (12-2 pm) at Lakeview, near Bodmin. Beautifully facilitated by Gemma Massey of The Main Event Management Company, these gatherings are friendly as well as professional. Personally, I have found them very productive. Gemma's coaching style prompts each of us to think deeply about what is needed right now for your business. I will be the guest speaker at various locations for TME over future months: 21 March at Siblyback Lake, 7 April at Lakeview, and 10 May at Roadford Lake. As you see, Gemma chooses unusual and beautiful locations.

8 March LifeTalks at the Victoria Inn, Threemilestone near Truro, (7-9 pm) . A new group for me, though many of the members are old friends. The speaker is Sarah Turner on Solution focused Hypnotherapy. On 12 April, I am speaking on Life Coaching – Practical Tools to Rediscover your spark, and focus.

17 March Cornwall Business Show at the Royal Cornwall Showground near Wadebridge. Free to visit, and if you pre-register via their website you are entered into a draw to win a package of business support worth over £6000 (which happens to include a five-session coaching programme from Dare to Blossom). My stand is in the 'Health and Wellbeing Zone', No. 83 (though I am informed that the stand numbers may change). I will be offering a chance to enter my own draw to win a coaching package. While you are there, you can pick a 'word for the day' from the Rediscovery Cards and experience for yourself how they work. There will also be a chance to ask questions about the Dare to Blossom in Business Programme (see more below) before the Early Bird rate which closes on the following day, 18th March.

19 March The Vibrant Living Show at Heartlands, Pool, Cornwall, from 10 am - 4 pm. Here I will be exhibiting my original artworks, greetings cards, books, and of course the Rediscovery Cards. I am also giving a talk from 11.15-11.45 entitled 'Will you Dare to Blossom?'

And finally (phew!), here are details of the forthcoming workshops:

A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace

16 April 10-1 Hayle, 21 May 10-4 Glastonbury. Full details of each event can be found on my website by following the links.
 

Dare to Blossom in Business: Refresh and Refocus Business Development Programme

This new programme begins on Friday 22 April 10-4, at the Paddock Room, Hawksfield, near Wadebridge, and has three levels of coaching support included, depending on which package you choose. There is a £50 discount for bookings made before 18 March, bringing the price for Early Bird bookings for the 'Silver' package to £95 which includes a one hour follow-up Skype or telephone coaching session to enable you to consolidate and continue the progress made on the day. (Value: £90). Full details are to be found here.

If you feel you cannot spare time for a whole day away from your business or prefer to work one-to-one, contact me so we can discuss a tailored programme for you. I can also provide in-house workshops and coaching programmes to refresh and inspire you and your team together.

Inspirational Links
Three wonderful retreats, I have not attended them all, but I know each of the organisers personally and you can be sure of a very special time if the particular event appeals to you:

Mindfulness, Reiki and Sound Retreat run by Jane Edwards and Ruth Lerew, at Blackadon Barn Farm on Dartmoor, from 13th to 16th May.

Simple Sanctuary Retreat in Tuscany with  Mary McConnell of Star Therapies and colleague Carol from 28th May to 4th June.  

Conscious Writing Retreat with Julia McCutcheon in Glastonbury from 10th to 13th June. I loved this retreat when I participated two years ago, if you want to know more about Julia's approach I can recommend her book Conscious Writing.

As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

* find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

February 2016: Grace and Ease

February 2016
 

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
 
In this Issue: 
Reflections: Grace and Ease
Archive piece: Compassion and Change
News and Events - including an offer to exchange coaching for assistance at an event
Inspirational links

Reflections: Grace and Ease

For 2016 my 'words of the year' are Grace, Ease, and Sovereignty. I will write more about the last of these in a future piece, today I am reflecting on grace and ease. After many years of working, and running my business, and writing, and doing things around my home .... etc,etc., like many people, I often used to feel overwhelmed and exhausted.  I am working full time on 'Dare to Blossom' activities of various sorts at the moment - including art and creativity, plus time to read, meditate, walk - and of course - play with our two kittens, who are rapidly growing up.

So, I am still working hard; still experience anxiety about finances and paying the bills; still have challenges of various sorts. And, as 2015 ended and 2016 dawned, I have begun to feel a softening, a yielding, of my commitment to worry and stress. I was surprised, as you may be, to find I was using that word 'commitment' - but it feels true. Now I feel that I was almost determined that I 'should' feel that way. Not all the time, over recent years I have been feeling less and less lke that, but it was there all the same.

Since those words popped up in my mind for this year and I have relaxed into them, I have found things beginning to flow. Many coaches and writers talk of feeling the emotion you want first and then reality will follow. In my experience this is true, though not always easy to achieve. With my adoption of 'grace and ease' almost as a mantra to live by for this year, it seems that I can slip into those states quite readily, and then circumstances do seem to shift around me so that things work out, gracefully and easily.

This theme feels significant for me to follow for this year, and probably beyond. 'Grace and Ease' are becoming an additional support in shifting my state of mind (as 'magic days' still is for me - see the piece from my 2008 book below). So much so, that I have started a FaceBook page and group called the Grace Pack (a name arising in a session with Soleira Green - thank you dear friend and genius coach extraordinaire!). The 'Pack' refers to the support and community of a wolf pack, or a human tribe. It also reminds me of the wisdon in the book 'Women who run with the wolves.' I think those of you who are not FB people will still be able to see the page here, though the group is private for sharing of thoughts and ideas. I have registered the domain as well so in due course there will be a website.



This is linked to my Dare to Blossom work, and also new - it feels like a way to explore my growth into my third age as a woman, the 'crone-age', and the claiming (reclaiming?) of my sovereignty, my power within. 

For you: in your meditations, art, collage work or journaling:
- What does 'grace' mean for you? What images come to mind? What words?
- How can you bring 'ease' into your life?
- How can you share grace and ease with those around you, to spread the ripples and help the world be more graceful and easy?

I am intending to do some painting on this theme myself, for the moment you will find some of my work on the website page and more on Dare to Blossom Art on FB. Many people (not least me) sind these useful for meditation and inspiration. The one that calls to me as I write today is called "Into Flight" and is the last one on the section of mounted paintings if you scroll down the page.

Archive piece: Compassion and Change

This piece is from my book Dare to Blossom: Coaching and Creativity, and was suggested by a regular reader. I hope you enjoy it, even though I feel I have changed considerably since I wrote this. Or rather than changed, become more of myself, more truly me.

Compassion and change
What have these two qualities to do with each other?  I feel that I have paired them together to remind us that when making big changes it can be useful (vital in fact) to remember to have compassion for ourselves. I know I am much more critical of myself than anyone else would ever be.  I give myself a hard time for every little mistake. As for a big one, well, I never let myself hear the end of it! Or that used to be how it was.

You may have heard the expression “negative self-talk”. Take a metaphorical step back and listen to how you talk to yourself (mostly in your head silently, though, like me you may occasionally find yourself doing it out loud). You will hear an endless stream of mostly junk thoughts: “What shall I get for dinner? That’s a nice dress.  I wish I was as thin as her. Oh what a fool I am for stubbing my toe. I am a stupid idiot…..etc.”

You have just said something to yourself that you would probably feel really bad saying to someone else. You may have done something stupid (though stubbing your toe is more likely a minor accident), but that does not make you an idiot. (An aside to this is that if you listen to how you speak to your closest family you may also be horrified at how you treat them at times.) The more we allow this stream of negative and self-critical thinking to continue unchecked, the lower our view of ourselves sinks. We don’t expect anyone else to respect us or admire us because we do not respect or admire ourselves.

Exercise: Compassion and reducing negative self-talk
Try, for just one day, noticing how often you say negative things to yourself. You may well find that after a very short while it becomes impossible to keep count of how many times you do this. Once you have had this illustration of how you are treating yourself, trying stopping those thoughts in their tracks and replacing them with something more positive, or at least more compassionate.

One way of doing this is to visualise a big, red STOP sign every time you notice yourself putting yourself down or wallowing in misery. Choose a word or phrase that you associate with happy times, something funny: anything that will make you smile. Have fun with this, you don’t have to share it with anyone else so it can be as irreverent as you wish.  Make a note of it in your notebook, though the idea is that it should be memorable.

My phrase is “magic days” – it never fails to lift my mood, make me pause, step back, remember that “this too shall pass.” “Magic” reminds me of that childhood excitement and expectancy we were talking about earlier, of glorious sunsets and stunning harvest moons, of a brilliant magenta flower bud bursting out. “Magic days” emphasises to me that I will only live this particular day once, every moment of it is precious and deserves to be lived to its best.

It is also worth remembering that sometimes having compassion for ourselves may be allowing a time for a good cry or a wallow in self-pity. If possible choose the time and line up some things to help you afterwards, a good book, a treat, lunch with a friend (one with a positive disposition rather than one who will encourage you to continue wallowing). Emotions are there to be expressed not suppressed. Learning how to express them in a safe way for all concerned is a key part of developing emotional intelligence. Daniel Goleman and other writers have developed this into a whole area of study. There are some references at the end of this book to follow up if you wish to know more.

Exercise: Approaching change with compassion
If you already have some big changes planned, this exercise might be useful as a reminder where and when to remember to check if compassion is needed for yourself, and for other people around you.

Try this: take a new sheet of paper, on the left hand side write the heading “Change” and the date. Then two further headings: “Compassion: me” and “Compassion: others”. (You may want to make more headings for individual people).

Underneath the heading “Change”, list the things that are changing – whether under your control and planned or not. As you go, list how you need to show yourself compassion in relation to the changes, and what you can do for the others you have listed.

For example, if you are planning to become self-employed and start your own business, there will be all sorts of changes taking place: working hours; how much you earn; becoming less (or maybe more) available for your family.

Once you have a good list, you could use them in a similar way to the “What” and “How” lists in Chapter 2. You can decide which actions you can take immediately, perhaps put them in order of priority, always remembering that you are as important as the other people in your life.


News and Events

Dare to Blossom Workshops

A Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Spark and Focus Saturday 6 February in Hayle, Cornwall

The first of these workshops on 23 January seemed to flow beautifully. I asked people to send feedback and testimonials after a space for the work we did to settle and distil, so I have none yet to share with you here. One comment certainly conveys the shifts that can happen within that short space of three hours - "God almighty, I feel different!"

The second of these events is this coming Saturday - and there are still a few spaces if you are interested, please do contact me.

Future workshops

Themes are still emerging for future workshops, with some dates already booked - the next being Saturday 16 April in Hayle (with dates also booked there on 25 June, and 24 September). Followed by a full day event in Glastonbury on Saturday 21 May. I am still looking for a suitable venue in East or North Cornwall so if anyone has any suggestions for a place with a calm, supportive atmosphere, please let me know.

The half day on 16/4 and full day on 21/5 will be on the theme of 'A Magic Carpet Ride to Reconnect with Grace and Ease' - and I will be able to share more details with you soon.

Other events

Thursday 17 March - Cornwall Business Show 9.30 - 4.00, at The Royal Cornwall Showground, Wadebridge

This an enthusiastically organised and well attended local business event, and this year I have a stand in the Health and Wellbeing Zone. There will be a chance to experience a brief taster of how the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards can work for you, and to book a complimentary twenty minute consultation on the phone or Skype to discuss how coaching could help you move forward.

There are a wide range of exhibitors, free entry and a chance to win a big support package if you pre-regiater on-line.



I need someone to help me on the stand please. If you are free for the day on Thursday 17th March, and can travel to Wadebridge by 9.00 am at the latest, I would like to offer you two coaching sessions (phone or Skype) free of charge. You will need to take these up before the event as then you will be able to talk to visitors to my stand about what Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Coaching involves and how it can work. (You wouldn't need to share any personal details, but just be able to answer questions people may have about the process). I will be on the stand most of the time but need to be able to take comfort breaks and have lunch with the knowledge that the stand is well looked after.

If this appeals to you please email me with your contact detail, by 8 February.. If there are several people interested I will speak to each of you and if still for you, enter names into a draw so the decision is fair and random.

Saturday 19 March - The Vibrant Living Show 10.00 - 4.00 at Heartlands, Pool, Cornwall

This is a health and wellbeing show with stalls, therapists etc - where I wll be showing the Dare to Blossom Art original art work, as well as greetings cards and the Rediscovery Cards.

Talks at networking meetings

As well as enjoying local networking again, I have been asked to give talks to various groups.

7 April at TME Networking Lunch, Lanivet and 10 May at Roadford Lake, both events include lunch and run from 12-2.

12 April at LifeTalks, at the Victoria, Threemilestone, 19.00 - 21.00

Inspirational Links

I recently attended the Aspire Foundation M.A.D (Making a Difference) Global Laedership Conference in London. I have been a volunteer mentor for about sic months and this was the first event I have been to in person. What a tremendous group of people! The mentees are all people setting up or working in social enterprises, and the mentors come from all wwalks of life. For the first time, this year men were invited to attend. As Sam Collins, the founder said, if men are committed to empowering women and helping everyone achieve their potential, of course they shuld be included. If you visit the FB page you can see a video of the closing celebration 


As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary