Keeping that holiday feeling

August 2012

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom newsletter
 
In this issue:

Reflections: Keeping that holiday feeling
Special offer: Signed copies of Dare to Blossom: Coaching and Creativity
Inspiring links and events

Reflections: Keeping that holiday feeling
This will be a short newsletter this month as I've been having a break. I have just returned to work after a wonderful week on holiday at home. Those of you in the UK will appreciate how lucky we were - it was virtually the first proper hot week of summer after a very cool and wet June and July. 

I feel refreshed and rested and - perhaps as we all do - have resolved to keep some of the essence of 'that holiday feeling' in my daily life. I intend to do that in part by granting myself what Susan Cain in Quiet calls 'restorative niches'. These can be very short, sometimes just enough time to stop and breathe properly, stretch and clear my mind. At other times reading a chapter of a book at lunchtime, or a walk in the park.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• How can you work in 'restorative niches' into your regular daily routine?
• Make a list of those things that would enable you to feel that holiday sense of space and relaxation.
• Choose a few and practise giving yourself the gift of one or two every day.

Special offer: Signed copies of Dare to Blossom: Coaching and Creativity

The Daring to Blossom workshop on 20 October (see below) will be using exercises from my book and signed copies will be available there at a special price.  If you would like a copy of my book and are unable to come along to the workshop, please contact me to arrange delivery of your copy with a personal dedication for £8.95 including UK postage. Details and reviews are to be found on Lulu.com, and on Amazon.

Inspiring links and events

This is a sweet and sad  video about how women under-value themselves and their contribution - thank you Anna for sending the link to me.

The ECL12 (Euro Coach List 2012) conference takes place on 24 and 25 November this year. The details are not yet finalised but you can pre-register here if you are interested. It is open to members and non-members and to anyone interested in coaching in the broadest sense.

Daring to Blossom Workshop Saturday 20 October 2012: 

Autumn: A time for reflection and renewal

This workshop will be an opportunity for you to take a day out from your busy life to review and reflect and choose, if you so wish, some actions that will move you on towards being more of the person you already truly are.We will share meditations, activities, talk and laughter. We will take the opportunity to spend time outdoors in the wonderful Pine Lodge Gardens - whatever the weather! (Bring appropriate shoes, coats etc)

Just one price: £25 per person: Your booking fee includes free entry to the Pine Lodge Gardens, plus light refreshments during the day. Bring a packed lunch or visit the cafe in the gardens.

Places are limited so book now if you can! A detailed programme will be available on the website soon and will be included in the next newsletter.


Thank you to all who read and comment regularly - your support means more to me than you will ever know. 

very best wishes

Mary

June 2012 Newsletter 


In this issue:

Reflections: Keeping the flame alive
Events
Inspiring links

Reflections: Keeping the flame alive
 
As I start writing this month's reflections it is 19th May and the Olympic torch has just left Land's End here in Cornwall on the journey around the British Isles. Even someone uninterested in sport can be inspired by the symbolism.

The flame representing the Olympic spirit was carried all the way from Athens in protective 'Davy lamps'. Only the commentators local to Cornwall seemed to realise that these were designed by Penzance-born Humphrey Davy as a safe way for miners to carry a light underground. There were three spare lamps in case one went out.

As the flame was used to light the first torch of 8000 that will be carried by nominated individuals, I thought about all those people taking a part in keeping the flame alive. Many of them have overcome great trials and adversity and have supported others.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• How do you keep the flame of your spirit alive in dark times?
• What renews your energy and light?
• How can you bring light to those around you?

My first thoughts included: gratitude; knowing when to let go and move on; faith; connecting with joy. I will be meditating more on this exercise, it will help with a new workshop I am developing for October on the theme of 'reflection and renewal'. Do share your thoughts by commenting on the blog or by email if you feel inspired.

Events

"Boosting your confidence and self esteem"

Fiona Crump is running this two day course for women at the wonderful Engine House at St Agnes on 6th and 23th July. Having been a participant in a group with Fiona some years ago now I can thoroughly recommend her approach. My experience was that she created a safe and thoughtful atmosphere where people could share with each other, and learn from her immense experience and knowledge.

For more information visit: http://www.evolution-development.com/blog/ or to book, email

 reception@evolution-development.com  or phone 01872 555939

"Daring to Blossom: A Time for Growth"
 Saturday 21 July

Step into the energy of high summer in the wonderful and peaceful Pinetum Park and Pine Lodge Gardens, near St Austell.

Share a day with a small group to explore how some deceptively simple coaching techniques combined with taking time to access your own intuition can enable you to gain clarity and move forward.
 
Outline Programme: 
♥ Introduction to life coaching, my background and the format of the day
♥ Visualisation/meditation
♥ Sharing exercise combined with introductions
♥ What is growth? Exploring what it means for you and in what areas of your life it is important to you now
♥ Coaching techniques* and a chance to try them out
♥ Lunch and a walk in the gardens
♥ Creative exercise: access your insights without words and make a memento to take home. Relax, play and have fun, NB no artistic skills required!
♥ Sharing creative experiences and intuition
♥ Closing visualisation and goodbyes.

Throughout the day there will be a mix of individual activities, discussion in pairs and with the whole group. You are totally free to participate and share as much or as little as you wish. There will be a morning and afternoon coffee break and regular changes of pace.

The programme will be similar to the outline above – and also every event is a unique experience. Each group is special and different and each person present brings their own individual contribution and takes away some particular nuggets of meaning just for them.

*The benefits of these techniques are that you are given a chance to focus on particular aspects, answer guided questions and see where you want to be next, or sometimes how you want to be next. Then you can use suggested exercises to decide what route to take to achieve this.

My book Dare to Blossom: Coaching and Creativity, contains many more exercises. Signed copies will be available to buy at a workshop special discount (£6.50 instead of £8.95) for those attending – and with a personal inscription for you if you wish.

Times: arrival from 9.30 a.m. for refreshments, start at 10.00 a.m., finish at 4.00 p.m.

Bring: a notebook, and a packed lunch.  Coffee, tea etc and biscuits will be provided.

Price: £60 per person, see Early Bird offer below for bookings made before 30 June.

Early Bird offer: pay only £30 for bookings received with payment before 30 June. To secure your place book via this link or email me to arrange another means of payment or instalments

You will find information on my background on my website and you are very welcome to email me or call 07778 771021 before booking for more information. Group sizes are limited so do book early if you feel this is for you. To read feedback from people who have attended past Dare to Blossom workshops, click here.

Advance notice of the next event:

Saturday 20 October 2012: A Time for Reflection and Renewal: Details to follow

Inspiring links:

Start with 'Why?': I was recently introduced to this in a presentation at a local event. For those of you in business and perhaps struggling with a seeming conflict between your values and making money, you may find this approach interesting. You may not agree with everything Simon Sinek says, but I have found the concept of 'Start with Why' very helpful. What do you think? Do let me know by commenting on my blog here

http://www.startwithwhy.com/About.aspx?n=1

The power of words: I had heard this story before but not seen this video representation. http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Hzgzim5m7oU&vq=medium


Thank you for reading. Feel free to forward this to anyone who may be interested. Please do leave comments or feedback  if you feel inspired!

all best wishes

Mary

May 2012 Newsletter

In this issue:

Reflections: Energy
News on Workshops
Inspiring Links

Reflections: Energy

The last month has been, well, difficult I suppose is a good word. All sorts of things have been going on, and at the same time I have felt so low in energy as to sometimes feel like hiding, crawling into bed and disappearing under the covers and not coming out. I haven't (not quite!) done this, and I have carried on, whilst reflecting on this experience with the help of good friends.

As a wonderful piece of synchronicity (or, should I say - there is no such thing as coincidence?) - last week's subject in the Year of Questions course I am doing with Fiona Robyn was about energy.

I remembered that I had written about this subject myself, nearly five years ago now, in my own book on coaching and creativity. I will include an extract for you below. It made me smile, reading words I had written, and thinking, "why have I forgotten this?!" The reference to a list of feelings is to an exercise in the previous chapter, about anticipation. If you would like to try the exercise mentioned, just reflect inwardly and see what word comes up when you ask yourself - "how am I feeling right now". And this works best if you don't censor yourself, the feeling may not be a 'polite' or a comfortable one.

From: Dare to Blossom: Coaching and Creativity 
Chapter 4: Energy and Evolution

 Now you have the list of feelings, can you use them to create more energy for yourself, a forward momentum? Every so often I think we all get a feeling of being stuck, not moving, even repeating the same patterns. I know I do.  A while ago I wrote the article below for my newsletter about waiting for the “flow”:

Mud flats – and the incoming tide
Reflections: written on a warm late summer day, sitting by the mud flats near the Camel Trail. (If you are not familiar with N Cornwall, this is a cycle track along the old railway line alongside the River Camel, though the vision of camel trekking is an attractive mental picture!)

I am looking up a creek away from the main river estuary. I can see an ancient landscape of fields, trees, hedges, and the salt marshes that are only occasionally covered by the highest tides. It is low tide now and the mud flats are exposed with streams cutting winding channels through them. The mud looks glutinous and smelly, but it is full of life, little worms and shellfish. The bigger pools have grey mullet swimming in them, splashing occasionally – though I can’t see them swimming beneath the surface as the water is murky. A breeze stirs the surface of the water; the tide has turned and is coming in steadily.

I feel sometimes that my plans and ideas are lost in a murky, muddy morass. I can’t see clearly what I should do next, or which way to go. Some of the steps I take feel like wading in the deep sticky mud.

Maybe I just need to wait for the tide to turn, in its own time – nothing I can do will speed it up. Once the tide covers the mud flats new life will sweep in, free to swim and feed and breed in a big expanse of open water.

The book I am working on has felt bogged down recently. I have been feeling that I have been working away at it but not getting anywhere. Some new ideas have just started emerging in my mind, maybe the tide is changing and I will soon find the right words.

Is there something you are trying to do that feels “stuck” or “bogged down”? Are you being too impatient? Would waiting for the “tide” – of ideas, of the seasons, of fashion or trends – to change make all the difference? If things you are trying to do seem difficult, a struggle, are you trying to “swim against the tide”? If you choose your time will the tide carry you along with it and take you where you need to go?
 
I thought about these questions and found the insights helpful: maybe I had been trying to swim against the tide, struggling against the current. If I relaxed and “went with the flow” my perspective would change and I would reach new understandings. I used this reflection to help me be patient in working on this book, and to give the process of writing the time it needs.

I have learned that my cycles of energy and progression (or evolution) mirror the cycles of nature. Sometimes literally with the seasons, sometimes to my own rhythm. I have times when I need to rest, reflect, recover my energy. This can be equivalent to the winter when nature lies dormant. The plants and trees may appear dead and infertile, but all the while their buds are developing, bulbs growing, seeds germinating, hidden from sight. Once conditions are right for each individual plant, perhaps in early spring or later in the early summer, the sap rises, the buds break, the flower shoots burst forth in new growth and blossom.

In my life I have observed that even when I seem to be repeating experiences, mistakes even, when I look closely there is a progression, an evolution. A spiral of experience as I grow and learn. I know now that I need to be conscious of these repetitions, and learn from them. If I want to avoid them coming round again, I can by fully observing (and learning and acting on) the lesson. There are lots of wise truisms about this, such as: “If you keep thinking the way you’ve always thought, you’ll keep doing what you’ve always done, and keep getting what you’ve always got.”

And Einstein said:"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

Exercise: Generating energy from feelings
Over to you: using your list of feelings from the last exercise, choose one to start with and write for fifteen minutes about it with the intention of exploring how you can use the energy of that feeling to move you upwards in your individual spiral of evolution. Use the free flow method of writing. Time yourself and do not read or censor what you write, just let the words flow out onto the paper. It does not matter what you write, (it might be “I don’t know what to write.”), simply keep going. When you have finished read through what you have written and underline or highlight key phrases or lines. You may like to note these separately or simply leave them “be”, to see what else evolves from them.

When I did this myself again while writing this chapter I chose “freedom” as my feeling to write about. After writing for fifteen minutes and reading it back, the phrase I underlined was: “Freedom of thought – not to be afraid of my thoughts.” That definitely needed to be left to be and evolve.

Later I decided it would help to write about these questions. “Why freedom?”, “What for?”, and, “What will this do for me?” The answer that came up was, freedom to be me, the real me, all the different “me’s”, that are hidden away a lot of the time. I feel I have a lot more to work through on this for myself. On that occasion I didn’t even start to think about “not to be afraid of my thoughts” – which would generate a whole new series of questions to reflect on. Your work with this exercise may be similar in the way it changes and evolves each time you come back to it.

How does this tie in with creating energy for ourselves? In this context it is to do with knowing ourselves better. In my example above, the realisation was that most of the time it is only me stopping myself being “free to be me”. So the forward momentum I gain from this is: stop being afraid of my thoughts, take due consideration for others but not undue consideration. In other words: get on and do things once I am clear that it is right for me and what I really want.

Back to the dictionary once again:
Energy: noun(pl. energies)
1the strength and vitality required for sustained activity.
2(energies) a person’s physical and mental powers as applied to a particular activity.

Origin: Greek energeia, from ergon ‘work’.
It is interesting that the word “energy” derives from the word for “work”. We tend to think of work as “using” energy, not as “being" energy. Perhaps if we look at it this way it can change our perception of work as something difficult, hard, dull, and as using up energy. The most satisfying types of work are those that do energise us, help us feel full of life and enthusiasm and the joy of living. Those activities that help us grow and evolve and develop to our highest potential.

So, in my example, how can I use the energy of being clear that it is my choice to allow myself to experience freedom? In a very practical way, I can use it to motivate myself to put dates in my diary for myself that are as binding as a work appointment or a lunch date with a friend. It is up to me to choose to keep “dates” with myself, give myself permission to take time for rest, reading, or any other activity.

A final quote to end this chapter:  “It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.” (Seneca: Roman dramatist, philosopher and politician.)

Using the energy generated by clarity of thought and intention clears away the difficulties we put in our own way, and us to achieve the outcomes we have dared to dream.

© Mary Lunnen 2008

I hope you find this exercise interesting, if you try it and have any comments or questions it would be good to hear from you.

From my starting point of saying the last month has been 'difficult', I now feel that another way to describe it would be as a big step forward. I have come to some realisations and insights, taken some time to be tender and caring towards myself as well as others. 
News on Workshops:

The Daring to Blossom Workshop scheduled for 21 April did not take place - the date didn't seem to be a good one for many people, for others perhaps the subject was not attractive. My own feelings of exhaustion meant that it was almost a relief when I made the decision - which in itself is revealing. I always aim to speak honestly and authentically to you in these newsletters, and so I am happy to share that with you.

Thank you to those of you who responded to my recent survey, I could plan a "world tour" around some of the locations suggested by those of you whose reason for not being able to take part was the distance! Certainly in the future I hope to return to more locations in the UK. And also to look into online options too. 

The next workshop is on Saturday 21 July, the theme is 'A Time for Growth' - I am in the middle of writing a detailed description which will convey what you can expect - without being too prescriptive - always a challenge. Those of you who regularly take part in these sort of events, whoever runs them, will know that the magic for each person is in what happens around and between the structure planned by the facilitator.

I feel the description has to have a special something In order to attract more people who may not be familiar with this way of self-development (and those that are) as there are so many things going on that something has to stand out to gain your attention.

So - this workshop will help us to explore the concept in the Anais Nin quote that inspired the name for my business a number of years ago:

"And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom”

We will explore potential, how to 'feel the fear and do it anyway' in the title words of the book by Susan Jeffers, and how to give ourselves that push, the momentum to take that risk, to leap into the unknown. Have a look at the video link below which is relevant to this. Even eagles - those wonderful majestic, soaring birds - need a push!

Early Bird booking at a special price is already open for 21 July - and places are limited - so if you are already inspired to join us, please book early. Here is the booking page, more details will be posted there soon.

I would love to hear from you with your thoughts and suggestions too. Just by reading this you are part of my wonderful support network - thank you for being there and witnessing my own developing and  'daring to blossom'.

Inspiring links:
A lovely short video: "Even Eagles need a Push".

April 2012 Newsletter

In this issue:

Reflections: on Reflection
Book news: request for your help
Daring to Blossom "Seeing you, being you" April workshop: special offer for subscribers

Reflections: on Reflection
 
Recently I attended the Mind, Body Spirit fair at Perranporth and had a brief talk with Patrick Gamble who I have known for many years. Since I last had a good look at his display he has produced new work including a pack of oracle cards using his amazing artwork.
 
My friend Maria and I drew a card each, and then decided to buy the book that accompanies the cards which gives a reading for each. My card was:
 

Reflection
Look ahead, forwards, do not look back, embrace, future

The wolf’s piercing eyes look through you and know all of you, the eyes are the gateway to the soul and show all that we are and have been before.

The wolf is saying: ‘no more reflecting upon your past, reflect your energy towards your future.’

Our life is like a big invisible map that we are trying to see and make sense of. We try to learn and discover more of ourselves by retracing our own footsteps back to the early days of our existence. You will find no answers and no understanding there. Everything in life has polished you into the person you are, so allow yourself to walk your future and embrace your pathway ahead of you. 

  (copyright Patrick Gamble 2011)

I found this idea of reflecting energy towards the future inspiring. So often I feel I start with good intentions of reflecting on past events in a positive way, and then it can be so easy to slip into various unproductive thoughts.

Perhaps I am blaming myself for something, berating myself for words I said to someone, ‘beating myself up’ about a past event that I cannot change now. Even grieving – for a person, a place, a part of myself that is lost. Allowing grief is an important and valuable process, andthere is also a time when I need to acknowledge and honour that, move on, and choose to take all the good memories with me into the future.

To accept, in Patrick’s words, that ‘Everything in life has polished you into the person you are, so allow yourself to walk your future and embrace your pathway ahead of you.”

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• What has polished you into the person you are?
• How can you honour that and then embrace your pathway ahead of you?

You might wish to explore this in art or poetry, music or dance.

Book news: request for your help
Last month I mentioned that I am writing a book based on these newsletters, working title: 'Five years of Daring to Blossom'. And I would like to ask for your help - please could you look back and see if any past newsletters have had a particular resonance for you. Did you do the exercises? What was the result? Did you receive any useful insights?

I would be very grateful if you feel inspired to send me your thoughts, I feel it would be interesting to readers to hear about how the newsletters were received by people once I sent them out 'into the ether'.

You can rest assured I will not publish any of your words without your permission and you can choose to use an assumed name and/or have details changed to ensure confidentiality.

I will look forward to hearing from some of you. Many thanks in advance.

Daring to Blossom "Seeing you, being you" April workshop: special offer for subscribers
I recently sent out a special offer to all of you for the next workshop in Cornwall on 21 April. In case you didn't see that, here are the details again:

As a thank you for being loyal newsletter subscribers here is a very special offer for you: bring two friends with you to the workshop and qualify for a place for yourself at no charge. Even better, if they book before the end of March, the paying guests will still receive the Early Bird discount of 50% - so will only pay £30.

Once your two guests have booked, let me know who they are and I will register you for your place. There is one other thing - please ask your guests to subscribe to the newsletter so I can send them regular news direct.

Spring: a time for action: Saturday 21 April at Pine Lodge Gardens
This workshop will be an opportunity for you to take a day out from your busy life to review and reflect and choose, if you so wish, some actions that will move you on towards being more of the person you already truly are. We will share meditations, activities, talk and laughter. We will take the opportunity to spend time outdoors in the wonderful Pine Lodge Gardens - whatever the weather! (Bring appropriate shoes, coats etc!)

Early Bird booking before 31/3/2012 - places are deliberately limited to keep the group small so book soon for your 50% discount.

Here is the link again: Book Here!

I hope to see you on 21 April - or if not, perhaps on 21 July or 20 October

March 2012 Newsletter

In this issue:

Reflections 1: Honouring the people of Christchurch, New Zealand

Reflections 2: Driving into Fog

News of my next book

Inspiring links and events

Reflections 1: Honouring the people of Christchurch, New Zealand
Today as I start to write this month's newsletter, it is 22 February, one year since the huge earthquake. My great-nephew sent me this link to a musical tribute. Those of you with no connections to the area may not know how severe the damage was, and how the area is still experiencing aftershocks, some strong, that continually set back the process of assessing damage. The area in the centre of Christchurch, around the cathedral (shown at the beginning of the video in before and after photos) is still closed off.

Here is an extraordinary piece of writing about what it means to live in Christchurch at this time

"After the shock, this is what it means to me to live in Christchurch right now.

It means waking up with uncertainty in my soul each morning.

It means to inwardly wince when my children jump at a car backfiring, mistaking it for an aftershock.

It means watching my four-year-old son shaking his fist at the ground during an aftershock and cry "stop scaring me" and being powerless to stop his pain.

It means financial hardship and struggle.

It means watching your children lose a layer of innocence.

It means watching those you love battle unemployment.

It means an uncertain future

It means thinking "but I'm not over it" when you hear other people say how over it they are.

It means watching an elderly couple with poor health leave their once proud, now ruined, Avonside home of 40 years, with tears streaming down their faces.

It means getting upset when someone says: "Why don't you just leave?"

It means coming to work and having a colleague show you the photos they took of themselves on their cellphone when they were trapped by fallen concrete. And, when they say: "If things got worse I wanted them to know the body was mine".  It means not knowing how to respond without weeping uncontrollably.

It means being described as "brave and resilient" when you feel scared and traumatised.

It means laughing for the wrong reasons at the Novus "show us your crack" TV commercial.

It means endless goodbyes at the airport, watching lifelong friends leave for a new life in another country.

It means watching people you love crack.

It means taking your car to the garage a lot for its munted suspension

It means telling people you live in Christchurch and feel forced to add "but the house I'm in is OK now".

It means getting used to moving house.

It means wherever you go you're usually outnumbered by people wearing fluoro vests.

It means witnessing on a daily basis people's ability for kindness and understanding.

It means being humbled by fellow Cantabrians' inventiveness and spirit.

It means acknowledging, more than ever before, the need to be more patient and understanding with everyone you meet.

It means always checking that the cupboards are full of dry food and the emergency kit is OK.

It means discovering who really cares about you and who just says they do.

It means trying to keep the car full of petrol in case "something" happens.

It means waking each morning knowing that today could be the day another big one hits.

It means thinking every day: 'Today might be the day we have to flee our house; am I prepared?'

It means watching my 12-year-old daughter mature overnight because of her earthquake experience into a caring, wise, young woman.

It means never parking your car under or close to a big building.

It means being frightened of simple things like catching a bus or going to a mall, and gradually conquering those fears.

It means only shopping where you feel safe, constantly aware of what is beside you and above you while you do so.

It means entering a building and immediately scoping out somewhere you could shelter if a quake were to hit.

It means always checking your cellphone is fully charged.

It means showering more quickly than you used to with a cellphone within reach. Who wants to be naked if "it" happens again?

It means truly cherishing each moment you have with those you love.

I want those who live elsewhere to understand that we still have the capacity to be happy.

But, yes, some days we feel as broken as the buildings in the CBD.

I want Kiwis around New Zealand and overseas to truly know how deeply we feel their kindness, how thankful we are of ordinary Kiwis who did their best to fill our brokenness with their heartfelt words, hugs, songs, offers of holiday accommodation and fundraising efforts.

I don't want to remember

But I cannot forget that day

I cannot forget the days the earth roared

I cannot stop imagining the pain and suffering of those who lost their lives or who were trapped or injured on February 22

I cannot forget the fear on the faces of my fellow Cantabrians

In the last year I have learned to make peace with the anxiety that walks beside me

But for now it is always there, just under the surface, like the faultlines."

Read the original piece here: (I can't see the name of the author listed, it is from the website of Christchurch newspaper "The Press".) The power of this piece leaves me speechless, I can only honour and send love to all people around the world experiencing the unimaginable such as this.
 
Reflections 2: Driving into Fog
Over the last week the area where I live in North Cornwall has been swathed in a thick fog, especially on the coast. Driving in it is an eery experience. It is quite frightening: when coming up behind a vehicle I realise I can hardly see it is there, even if they have their fog lights on. Can the people behind me see my lights?

I take special care and look out for signs to show me where side roads are coming in to the road I am travelling on in case a car pulls out (though I should always be doing that, I think to myself). The usually familiar landmarks have disappeared, even though it is daylight I feel literally disorientated.

Sometimes I feel life is like this. I think I have things planned and 'know' what will happen to a reasonable certainty. Often this is not the case (as John Lennon said "Life is what happens while you are making other plans.") but as long as things ony vary a certain amount I can cope with that.

At other times life can change in an instant: an accident, news of the death of a friend or relative, diagnosis of an illness, a job loss. Some of these things, such as the job loss, may be known in advance - but the day actually comes when you no longer get up and go to a familiar place of work - then the feeling of disorientation can set in.

The change may be one that is seen as positive: attaining a big goal such as graduating from university, finishing writing a book, even perhaps (though I have yet to experience this one!) winning a large sum of money on a lottery.

How can we deal with the feeling of having the foundations of our lives rocked? Literally in the case of people living in an earthquake zone, and - not joking this time - what that is like is unimaginable for me. People around the world, including my own family in New Zealand,  are somehow carrying on with that knowledge every day.

Some people have a strong faith to support them: in their God however they name that entity, in the Universe, in the strength and goodness of human nature. People often say that a disaster brings out the best in people and also makes them reassess their true values. Some people seem to remain centred in any circumstances, maybe because they have a solid and supportive sense of who they are and what is true for them.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• At those times in life that are like 'driving into fog', what is your rock, your solid core on which you depend?
• Make a list of those things that are truly important to you. This list may look very similar to a list of your values, these are the things that will survive no matter what happens, that will carry you through.
• Consider if you want to strengthen those values or bring more of those important things into your life right now. Maybe spend more time with friends, visit your family, spend time outdoors in nature.
• Visualise or meditate on strengthening your roots, see yourself as grounded in the earth we all share, enjoying the air around you, gaining sustenance from fresh water and good food.
   

News of my next book
You may know that I have been mentioning here for some time my ideas for my next book. I have now realised that the delay in getting started on this has been due to something else wanting to come into fruition first. This 'something' is a compilation of the Reflections from these newsletters. This month is the fifth anniversay of my first ever Dare to Blossom Newsletter - and I will be pulling together a volume of extracts with additional thoughts. I'm not sure how long that process will take - but you'll be the first to know when it is available if you keep in touch.

Inspiring links and events
"Art of Calm" workshop with Claire Lucas, Saturday 17th March, at the Goat Barn, Boscawen'Un, Near St Buryan, West Cornwall. 10am - 5pm. Costs £60, including art materials, lunch and chocolate! Some concessions available to people on a low income. More info can be found at www.artofceremony.co.uk & www.landsendschoolofart.co.uk

Daring to Blossom Workshop Saturday 21 April 2012:
Spring: a time for action
This workshop will be an opportunity for you to take a day out from your busy life to review and reflect and choose, if you so wish, some actions that will move you on towards being more of the person you already truly are.We will share meditations, activities, talk and laughter. We will take the opportunity to spend time outdoors in the wonderful Pine Lodge Gardens - whatever the weather! (Bring appropriate shoes, coats etc)

Early Bird booking £30 before 31/3/2012, £60 full price for bookings after that date. Your booking fee includes free entry to the Pine Lodge Gardens.

Places are limited so book now if you can!

February 2012 Newsletter

In this issue:

Reflections on the first Daring to Blossom workshop 
Inspiring events and links

Reflections:

The first Daring to Blossom workshop took place on 21 January, with the title 'A time for insights, planning and preparation.' A group of six people joined me for the day at the wonderful Pine Lodge Gardens.

One of the highlights of the day was a walk in the gardens at lunchtime, and the future events will incorporate the wonderful environment even more into the format of the programme.

As the workshops are intended to be a place for reflection and personal development, sometimes uncomfortable feelings arise for people. The group are encouraged to 'hold the space' for each other, witnessing without judgement. At the same time, it is each person's responsibility to honour the group agreement that we make at the beginning of the day, which always includes giving each other time to speak and not taking too much time for ourselves.

It often falls to me as the facilitator of the group, to draw people back to the coaching ethos of moving forward from where we are, acknowledging the past but not dwelling on it. One of the lessons I have learned - over a long period of time, and sometimes needing to re-learn it - is that 'You are not your story'. The true essence of each person is not - that cancer experience, the abuse that may have been suffered, nor the triumphs either - but rather our response to them in the highest sense. The things we have learned and used to bring more of our true selves into the world.

By the end of the day people left with some actions to take them forward, and I went away with lots of ideas for the next event, including feedback from those present. One of the suggestions made by more than one person was longer meditations, which I will bring in next time. That caused me some reflection and I realised that I don't feel very confident at leading meditations. So that is my 'growing point' challenge - to step out of my comfort zone and do this. Several people have offered to share resources and ideas - thank you.

Another big "thank you" goes to Maria, who took an active part in the workshop, sharing her thoughts and experiences and helping others reflect. At the same time she played a key role in being my support person, making sure everyone was welcomed and looked after. Maria, you are an angel and it was so good to know that you were there doing those almost invisible things that are only noticed when they are absent.

At risk of sounding like a gushing movie star accepting an award (there's a thought!) - more thanks go to Tracey, Richard and George (I hope those names are correct) and all the team at Pine Lodge Gardens who made us so welcome.

And thank you so much to everyone who came along, faced their challenges and shared insights with us to help us all begin daring to blossom.

Here is some of the feedback that people have given me permission to share with you: 

"Thank you Mary for another wonderful workshop. It was fun, enlightening, thought-provoking, and also very relaxing."

“The time & length of the workshop was perfect. I felt relaxed throughout the day and that was from the moment I walked through the door, greeted by Maria until the end of the day. If I had a slight moment of personal irritation, it was soon defused as a skilful Mary held the space respectfully for all of us. The natural flexibility and flow of the day was easy. I particularly enjoyed the walk in nature & revisiting that experience (clever touch!) during the stillness/meditation moments at the end of the day.”  Fran Partridge, Ayurveda Practitioner

"Thank you, Mary for a very enjoyable day. Good to take some time out for me, acknowledge some of my positive achievements and make some plans for 2012." Tina

If you missed the day, Amanda Jones has offered to host a repeat event at her home in St Columb Major. The date is Saturday 18 February, from 10.00 am to 4.00 pm, and the fee is £40. If you are interested please contact me as soon as possible as that date is not far away.

The next workshop at the Pine Lodge Gardens is on Saturday 21 April, and you can take up the half price early booking offer by online here, or by contacting me. The theme is "A Time for Action", moving us forward into the life-affirming life and energy of spring time in Cornwall. I hope to welcome you to this event or a future workshop.

Finally, as always, here are some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections. The Daring to Blossom theme for January was "Insights, planning and preparation". As we end of the first month of 2012, this may be a good point for you to review your "wheel of life": the balance between all the aspects that make up your life and how satisfied you are with them.

If you are not familiar with this exercise, I have posted a file on the Daring to Blossom website for you to download with the instructions.

• What insights does your current wheel of life reveal?
• Which aspects of your life are out of balance?
• Choose one or two and decide on some actions - achievable but perhaps slightly challenging.
• Why are they a challenge?
• What support can you put in place to help you?
• Can you 'feel the fear' and do them anyway?
• If not, review again - is this really your own goal or aim? Or someone else's that you think you 'should' achieve?
• If you still want to take it on, break down what needs to be done into smaller stepping stones - and do something, however small! 

Inspiring events and links:
Here is a selection of interesting events and links to investigate if they intrigue you!

Visionary Entrepreneurs are holding an event in London on 24 February, more info here: http://www.visionaryentrepreneurs.net/february-event.html

My friend Fiona Crump recently started a food-related blog with the wonderful name of Bun Scuffle - intrigued? Take a look: http://bunscuffle.co.uk/

I receive the Zen Habits newsletter/blog postings, and although I do not always have time to read them, whenever I do dip in there are wonderful nuggets within them, for example, a recent piece on "Creating Silence from Chaos". You can sign up or read online here: http://zenhabits.net/

Sam Chittenden ran a workshop at the Euro Coach List conference last November on the use of poetry in coaching, and I recently had an interesting Skype conversation with her about this and her work on leadership. You can read Sam's blog here: http://differentdevelopment.blogspot.com/

Tina McNaughton has an event on 26 February: "Introduction to Psychic Art", visit her website for more information.http://www.angelenergies.net/Events.html


Please do leave any comments or feedback if you feel inspired!

all best wishes

Mary

January 2012 Newsletter, with guest article from William Bloom

January 2012 Dare to Blossom Newsletter


In this issue:

Guest article: William Bloom
Reflections: on William's piece, and on A New Year
Daring to Blossom Workshops: special offers
News: winner of the December draw for free coaching sessions
Inspiring links

Guest article: William Bloom

My thanks to William for permission to republish this article from his recent email newsletter. To subscribe or to find out more about his work, visit www.williambloom.com. (If you visit William's website at the moment there is a lovely cartoon on the front page!) The article is also featured in the January 2012 edition of Cygnus Review. (www.cygnus-books.co.uk)

THE PASSING OF THE YEAR, GILL EDWARDS AND ROGER WOOLGER

In the weeks before Christmas my heart was moved by the death of two friends, who may also be well known to you. You will, I am sure, want to join me in sending condolences to the families of Roger Woolger and Gill Edwards who both died, too young for my liking. May their journeys be graceful and blessed. May their families feel love and comfort.

Roger, you may remember, was the author of several books including the classic Other Lives, Other Selves about reincarnation and how our past lives affect us today. He was a full-blooded, intelligent, wry and independent thinker who helped to pioneer and clarify a therapeutic approach to past life memories and regression. His company was warm and stimulating.

Gill, of course, was the author of the pivotal Living Magically, which was and still is a crucial bestseller and gateway book, opening up thousands of people to their inherent spirituality.  Like Roger she too had a background in psychology. She was also an accomplished teacher and an inspiration to so many people in the world of contemporary spirituality.  Only recently she published another inspiring book Conscious Medicine.

Both of them were pioneers, synthesising the best of modern psychology with the wisdom of ancient spiritual traditions. I knew them both over thirty years and had collaborated with them in various ways, always knowing that I could contact them for advice or suggestions, and sometimes we shared students who needed special support.

Whenever I met either of them over the last three decades, our conversations were immediately intimate, good-humoured and helpful. We knew that we were part of a movement exploring new ways of expressing and teaching spiritual development. We shared an affectionate solidarity. I am sure that all of you who knew them too, whether as colleagues, students or readers, also appreciated their strength of spiritual character and presence.

And I miss them both.

They were part of my personal landscape for many years. I am sad that their physical presence is no longer here for me and I feel some grief. I imagine that you too, reading about their passing, may also feel some emotions of loss. This is a normal human response, isn’t it, a normal sadness and emotion?

*

But here is the irony. From the other side of death, looking down on us, I can imagine both of them smiling: Hey you down there, stop all that grieving. Life continues after death. We’re still here, but just in another dimension and we’ll meet again. Stop your sadness and get on with life!

Roger’s books and teachings were all about the continuity of life after death and Gill’s teachings too were filled with information about the invisible dimensions. In fact, after her death Gill’s family posted on her website a letter that she had recently written to someone who had just lost a loved one. Gill’s letter reminded this person about life after death and the continuation of consciousness and connection.

I too write and teach about these realms. I even lead a course on how to support the transfer of consciousness at death and I spend time every day in meditation, contemplating the dimensions beyond the gateway of death. I am sure that many readers of this article are also attuned to these spiritual dimensions.

But here’s the rub for us. For all the beauty of life beyond death and for all the spiritual realities, we are also warm-blooded creatures, mammals, beings of feeling and emotion. And Gill and Roger were also flesh and blood — and now they are gone.

They may be alive in another dimension, but in this one they are missed.

I write all this as a counterpoint to those spiritual folk who may deny natural, instinctive and healthy emotions, suggesting that death should have no poignancy.

For all the wisdom and knowledge we may have about life after death, would any of us dare to tell a parent not to grieve for their lost child? Or dare to advise a young child not to grieve for a lost parent? This would not be humane. It would lack heart, which is at the core of spirituality — heart, compassion, empathy, fully present to human sadness, suffering and loss, as well as to joy, celebration and genius.

Without heart, perhaps all the knowledge of the inner worlds is worth nothing.

So whilst we may know full well that Gill and Roger are smiling, enjoying their new dimensions, and whilst celebrating their lives and gifts, it is also understandable, normal and fully human to feel loss and miss them.

And this perhaps is what I value most about my friends, students, colleagues and teachers. We have a sense of community, a community of the heart. May it expand and radiate to serve all.

So my lovely friends and companions, whether you are in this world or the next, may the coming year be filled with graceful growth, cosmic enjoyment and abundant blessings.

Wishing you all love.

William

Reflections on William's piece
I found reading this very moving. Both these people have been important in my life through their books: each had a warm, intimate and sharing way of writing that both helped the reader understand their teaching and to feel a personal connection with them as individuals.

I also feel that William's points are important to us all: we all feel grief, sometimes for a big loss as in the death of of a loved one. At other times changes happen that are also a loss: growing old and feeling the effects of that; losing a job; moving away from friends or family; losing a treasured possession.

At such times the ultimate outcome may also be something to celebrate: the release of a person from pain and suffering; the wisdom of growing older; a new job; different ways of communicating and a new respect for the value of friends and family. These mixed feelings may lead to complicated emotions, guilt even.

These feelings and emotions are what they are, feelings and emotions. Many spiritual teachings indicate that the reason that we, as spiritual beings, have decided to come and live in this world as a physical human being is to experience just this. To experience the whole range of human feelings, emotions, and physical experiences that each add to our experience and learning.

So, as William says above: "For all the beauty of life beyond death and for all the spiritual realities, we are also warm-blooded creatures, mammals, beings of feeling and emotion. And Gill and Roger were also flesh and blood — and now they are gone."

The sharing of joy, and grief and learning, the connections we make when truly communicating heart to heart is what this life is all about for me. In William's words "..a community of the heart. May it expand and radiate to serve all."

Thank you to William, and to all of you in my community of the heart around the world. Namaste: I bow to you.

Reflections on A New Year
2012 will be a special year for me, and in spite of natural reticence on talking about my age, I am happy to say that I have already started my 60th year. As a rule I subscribe to the belief that 'age is just a number', but this year I feel proud that  this is the stage in my life I am entering.

This stage is not necessarily signified by the number of years I have lived, the amount of grey in my hair, nor marked by any feeling that I have by now learned all the lessons (I am sure I have not!), but more by coming to a place, a feeling, that I am able to be me. And by being me, at times messy, unfinished, even unhappy, at other times wise and strong and peaceful - by truly being all of these things I can help others in their own journeys to be truly themselves.

I have been reviewing the newsletters I have sent since I began this practice in March 2007. This is the fifth January edition I have written in that time: each has the themes of reviewing the past, looking forward to the future. The suggested activities below come from the first January Newsletter in 2008, and felt very relevant to me especially in relation to the thoughts above on grief and moving on.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections: 

• What has ended over the last year? 
   
• Have I recognised and marked these endings?  (There may be a celebration, or a memorial ceremony that would feel appropriate to mark them.)  Are they happy or sad?  Is there anything that should have ended but is dragging on?  Should it be ‘laid to rest’?
   
• What began afresh this year?
   
• Where have/are these new beginnings taking me?  Are they continuing into 2012?  Do I want them to continue?
   
• What new beginnings to you want to make happen for yourself?  What actions can you take to achieve this?

Daring to Blossom Workshops: special offers
As regular readers will know, I am running a new series of workshops in 2012 on the theme of "Seeing You, Being You". I have extended the special offer for newsletter subscribers, so if you are quick you can still book a place at half price (£30 instead of £60) for the first event on Saturday 21 January. Book before 7 January for the discount, or contact me to discuss paying in installments.

The venue for the workshops is the wonderful and peaceful Pinetum Park and Pine Lodge Gardens, near St Austell. (Very close to the world-famous Eden Project - why not come for a weekend and spend a day at the amazing biomes?)

Choose to attend any one event, a combination of dates, or all four. Your experience will be just right for you whatever your choice.

Each event is interactive and experiential, this means that ’being there’ and sharing experience is what matters. You are totally free to participate and share as much or as little as you wish.  Each group is special and different and each person present brings their own individual contribution and takes away some particular nuggets of meaning just for them.

Cost: £60 per workshop, with half-price offers for each workshop for early bookings.
For full details and to book visit the Daring to Blossom dedicated site.

Saturday 21 January 2012: Winter: a time for insights, planning and preparation
Saturday 21 April 2012: Spring: a time for action
Saturday 21 July 2012: Summer: a time for growth
Saturday 20 October 2012: Autumn: a time for reflection and renewal

Times: arrival from 9.30 a.m. for refreshments, start at 10.00 a.m., finish at 4.00 p.m.
Bring: a notebook, and a packed lunch.  Coffee, tea etc and biscuits will be provided.

Need more information? Contact me or read feedback from people who have attended past Dare to Blossom workshops, click here.
 
I am working  on the online course, for those of you who are unable to come to Cornwall for any reason and those spread out around the world in our Daring to Blossom community. 

News: winner of the December draw for free coaching sessions
The draw has been made and the winner informed, but due to Christmas holidays I have not yet heard back from them with permission to publish their name in this newsletter.  If it is you, I’ll look forward to hearing from you and working alongside you to make 2009 a very special year.  If it is not you, there will be another chance to win in the next draw at the end of June, and you can take up the offer of a free consultation at any time, just email me to make an appointment.

Inspiring links
This may be rather 'sugary'  for some tastes, but contains a universal truth about making a difference all the same, click here for the video link.

I welcome any comments or feedback -  if you feel inspired!
all best wishes

Mary