Kindness

14 November 2013 My first response to this card was..... a deep breath in and out, a little sigh of relaxation. Kindness, to me, is one of those qualities that does not arrive with fanfares or grand gestures. It just is. It just is what it is, kind. Being kind can make such a difference to everyday life. When I remember and pause to think what would be a kind reaction to other people, when I take that breath in before speaking and consider what a kind response would be - then life flows more smoothly. Whether at home or at work (and between the two, as I drive around sometimes busy roads), that pause for consideration can save me from a reaction I may regret later. Being kind to myself is another challenge. As comes up frequently in my reflections, whether here to share with you or privately in my journal, I am continually struck - when I pause to listen to myself - at the way I speak to myself. I read a moving description recently from a woman's account of her experience of depression, describing an extreme version of this. She wrote of her negative thoughts following her around the house like a bully.* How often do I bully myself instead of treating myself kindly? Using words such as 'stupid', 'idiot', plus the 'must, should' etc, etc. *(her name is Allie Brosh and she writes a perceptive and amusing cartoon blog) "Random acts of kindness" is a concept that appeals to me: smiling at a stranger and not knowing if that makes a difference; leaving a book I have finished on a train for someone else to read and enjoy; paying for the person in front of me in a coffee shop (though I haven't tried this one yet). I just popped away to research some quotes on 'kindness' and discovered that there is an organisation called The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, lots of interesting things to look into there.  One quote that stood out for me was: Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change. Bob Kerrey (1943) American Politician This reminds me of a story my mother told me late in her life, after she'd had a stroke and had to move into a nursing home. She told me that one of the things she was proud of was the effect a seemingly chance encounter had on a family. She said that one day a woman she didn't recognise came up to her and said "You won't remember me, but the advice you gave years ago changed my son's life." Apparently on that occasion my mother had seen this person somewhere, visibly upset, and asked what was wrong. The story emerged that the woman's son was being bullied at school and was about to move up to secondary school along with the same boys who were doing the bullying. She was so worried and at her wit's end. My mother gently suggested that she could ask that he be enrolled at a different school in the area - something that wasn't generally an option in those days. This what she had done and now the son was just about to graduate from university with a bright future ahead. Coming across the quote above reminded me of this example of kindness being an agent of human change. Most often we will never be aware of the effect our kindness. It may not be as profound as the example above, but the ripples will have spread out from one person to another from the moment we decide to respond with kindness. The warm orange of the card adds to my feeling that 'Kindness' is a foundation that I can rely on when I feel the need for comfort myself or when I want to help others. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.