In this Issue:
Reflections: the balance
of dark and light
New writing: a collaboration and a prose poem Forthcoming Events: autumn 2016 Dare to Blossom workshops Inspiration: featured blog Reflections: the balance of dark and light Everywhere in life there are opposites: hot/cold, night/day, summer/winter, sweet/sour, wet/dry, up/down, north/south, east/west, and black (or dark) and light. Some of these are observable, many are subjective: one person's 'hot' is another's 'cold' (or cool at least). As human beings trying to make sense of our lives the tendency is to make judgements based on past experience. This can mean that what is happening to me now, in this instant, the only moment that is actually 'real' - this instant is seen through a filter of assumptions. These may, or may not serve me well. Some have been acquired through my own physical experiences, and others learned from those around me. If all those people who influenced me as I was growing up as a young child believed that a certain thing was 'good' and another thing 'bad' - it can be very hard for me to un-learn those prejudices - in the sense of 'pre-judgements. (I find it interesting that I have to explain that - am I 'prejudiced' against the word 'prejudice'? And, I feel I need to say, I am very purposefully writing in the first person today to do my best not to assume that anyone else makes the same 'pre-judgements' as I do). What I can be doing is making assumptions that one thing is 'right' and therefore the other, the opposite, must be 'wrong'. I come to see more clearly now that usually I benefit from some of each quality. This is necessary to enjoy the temperate maritime climate here in Cornwall - I love the sunshine, and I know that rain is needed to enable the land to remain as green and fertile as it is, so I wouldn't say rain is 'bad'. So, when it comes to black and white or dark and light, as in the title of these reflections today, there are so many centuries of culture, tradition, superstition, story-telling behind me, that it is an interesting exercise to tease out some of what I feel about those terms. The picture shows our 'yin yang' garden just after it was freshly laid last year. This definition, found on Google, illustrates the point I am trying to make: "In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang (also yin-yang or yin yang, 陰陽 yīnyáng "dark—bright") describes how opposite or contrary forces are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent in the natural world, and how they give rise to each other as they interrelate to one another."  Coming back to complete these reflections after a gap of twenty-four hours, I have had the phrase 'from black and white to colour' running through my mind. It is the title of a book by Richard Wilkins (he is very active on Facebook, and his website is here.) I met Richard sometime in the 1990s, and he was, and has been ever since, a great inspiration. This little book is a collection of his poems and sayings drawn from his own experience of getting to rock bottom and finding the only way was up. I think the thought I am stumbling towards is this: life truly is never black and white. There many shades of grey between those extremes. And, if I am able to choose to see life this way, there is an infinite variety of glorious colours too. Science shows many more that my human eyes cannot detect. ................................................................................ As often happens for me, sharing my flow writing, my personal process, with you is beginning to feel exposed and a little scary. I have lost the thread of the point I was making here, starting off to talk about black and white. Or is it necessary to have a 'point' at all? To answer myself, yes, sometimes, absolutely - if I need to convince someone or explain something clearly. And also, no - not here, not today. I feel no need to be 'right'; no impulse to show that someone else may be 'wrong'. Those "contrary forces" that "are actually complementary, interconnected, and interdependent" contain gifts in their interdependence. Maybe venturing into the dark, the shadow, within me will allow me to see things that the sunshine of the light obscures in dazzling brightness? ..................................................................... Another break. A walk on the cliffs this morning. Some extraordinary insights - which will need me to spend some time with in meditation before I write anything I feel able to share about them. The images I saw were about going deep within - inside the earth, or inside myself - into the dark. Emerging changed by the dark, and by treasures - the jewels, the crystals - of light I found there. For you, for your journal or meditation practice: - if any phrase or word resonates with you from this piece, choose to flow write or meditate on those words - what emerges for you? - what gifts can you find within? - do you wish to paint, draw, collage - express this visually in some way? If you would like to comment or share (either in the on-line blog forum, on Facebook or privately) please feel free. New writing: a collaboration and a prose poem Collaboration: "365 Moments of Grace" This book is a collaboration of 250 writers, all brought together by Jodi Chapman and Dan Teck. I have posted a special piece on my website blog to tie in with the 'blog tour' for the publication. You may have already read that if not, you can find it here. For UK readers, there is a link here - which I hope will take you to my author page (I have found it technically challenging setting it all up), and if not, simply search for my name or the book title. If you are outside the UK, this will take you to my affiliate page with Jodi where you can see details of all her and Dan's offerings. Just been interrupted to sign for the delivery of my copy of the book, what great timing. No one around to take a 'good' photo for me, so here is a selfie with me looking rather astounded.  Prose poem: Coming Home At my recent Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride workshop, with the title 'Rediscovering your Inner Wisdom', I decided to read a piece I had written myself, amongst the words of other writers that I also share. This felt a big step for me, and my inner critic popped up very loudly proclaiming the usual 'stuff' - 'Who do you think you are?!' etc. In the words of Marianne Williamson (and I always read the whole piece during workshops) 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' (read the rest here) The piece below has not been edited since it was written during my meditation/visualisation practice, some time in June - and I had not even read it through before sharing it at the workshop. I am sure it could be polished and honed, at present it is a raw, unpolished flow of feeling from the heart. Coming Home Breath In, breath out Breathe in, breathe out. Connect with my body, feel, settle Connect with the earth... ...fertile, strong, mud, rock. Connect with nature: Abundant: Seeds waiting, germinating - green shoots becoming strong - green shoots becoming trunks, branches Buds forming, slowly breaking - flowers blossoming - flowers fruiting Fruit falls, fruit scatters Seeds waiting Abundant. Connect with the air, all it signifies: Breath of life, winds that blow the seeds. The Universe around me The world of the unseen, unknown, - alongside - guiding me if I listen. Abundant. Breath in, breath out Breathe in, breathe out. I am home Abundance embodied Abundant. Coming home. Forthcoming Events: autumn 2016 Dare to Blossom workshops With the busy time of summer arriving here in Cornwall, my next workshops are planned for the autumn and full details will be available on the website soon, and to you here n a future newsletter. I am currently working on ideas. I am finding that participating, as well as facilitating, the current 'Global On-line Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom' is proving very fruitful for me in that. It is making sure I take my own time out, to meditate and write, away from the computer, to share with the group, and some interesting insights have been arising. I think the title of 'Magic Carpet Ride' will stay - people connect with that as it awakens a child-like playfulness. Do let me know if you have any feelings on this: do you like that idea? Does it not not a chord for you? Even when thinking about what we may feel 'should' be serious subjects such as business or career, this approach can yield unexpected gifts. As to the next seasonal theme - watch this space. The dates in Cornwall at present are: - Saturday 10 September, at The Clease Hall, Camelford - Saturday 24 September, at the Heliodor Wellbeing Centre, Hayle - Saturday 19 November, at the Heliodor Wellbeing Centre, Hayle Each workshop will run from 10 am - 1pm, there will be Early Bird and 'frequent flyer' or (magic carpet rider :-) ) rates once the price per person has been set. (I will keep them to £25 for Early Bird bookings if I possibly can). If the first event in Camelford is a success I may well choose that as a regular location as I have been looking for somewhere in north Cornwall for some time. Dare to Blossom at Home workshops can be booked at any time: if you are in Cornwall or west Devon and are interested in exploring the option to host a group of friends in your own home, have a look at the website here and contact me so we can arrange a chat to discuss what you would like. Inspiration: featured blog I have so many friends writing amazing inspirational blogs that I have decided to feature one of them here each month: Here is Diana Frajman with The Crone's Apprentice. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts. If you would like to own a set of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter |
Thursday, 30 June 2016
July 2016 - the balance of black and white
Tuesday, 31 May 2016
June 2016 - Midsummer Magic
In this Issue:
Reflections: Midsummer MagicDare to Blossom Events
Inspirational links
Reflections: Midsummer Magic
It is almost nine o'clock in the evening, and here in Cornwall, at the end of May, still three weeks until the longest day - it is still light. Today has been a perfect early summer day, warm with a cool breeze. As the sun sets there is sea mist in the air, creeping in from the coast just a few miles from here.
The garden is producing well, and we are surrounded by luxuriant greenery and flowers. The bird feeders are visited by small birds such as chaffinches, blue tits, sparrows and great tits, as well as the dramatically coloured great spotted woodpeckers.
Writing now on 31 May..... tomorrow I will be celebrating a full twelve months running Dare to Blossom full time. After setting up the business in 2003, I had always worked within organisations, at first with a local college part-time, that contract ended and the post was made redundant. Then I found work with a new business start-up support programme and worked there for nearly six years - coaching and training dozens of people. That again ended when the funding disappeared and all the staff made redundant.
After those experiences - in spite of my first thoughts of diving into activity, my first need was for a rest. Gradually I got back into a flow, beginning with the on-line Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride last June. Since then I have run workshops around Cornwall, and in Glastonbury; attended numerous business networking events, and had the opportunity to be a guest speaker at a few of those too. Exhibited at a business show in March. Spoken to many people on-line and in person about coaching and worked with some of them through one-to-one work to help them rediscover their inner wisdom and move forward in their lives.
"I used to feel like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders which turned out to be my own thoughts dragging me down." Tash Read more
It is a joy and a privilege to do this work, thank you to each of you who has trusted me to support you in this journey that each of us is on. During the year I have also devoted considerable time, and money, to my own support and personal and professional development through one-to-one coaching with fellow coaches, on-line programmes, workshops, books - a whole range of tools.
I have taken part in groups on Facebook where I have met wonderful people, all committed to doing business in the way I wish to go forward - in a spirit of support and collaboration rather than ruthless competition. Yes, some of us are technically competitors, but probably not looking to work with the same people, or at least, not at the same time. I am finding that by getting to know everyone I can working in my field, offering services like mine - then I can not only find the best support for myself at different times, I can also refer people who come to me to the best possible help for them.
And - I have had time for walks, photography, art, reading, spending time with friends, gardening, (and simply sitting there, in my garden,with a good book). Through all of this, I feel much more secure in who I am and what I have to offer people through one-to-one work, workshops, and all the rest.
What next? More of the same, and most importantly with more emphasis and ..... what is the word I am looking for? Oh yes! Daring - daring to blossom, daring to be me, daring to stand up and say to you "Try this, talk to me, I can help you change your life."
"After a hard 18 months or so I can now say that I am ready to move on and the ideas that keep springing into my mind since the Magic Carpet Ride are phenomenal...." Ruth Read more
It truly feels as if midsummer magic is in the air - fresh potential, new ideas, moving forward even more surely and confidently. If you would like to find out for yourself how I work now, please contact me for your complimentary twenty minute consultation. Even, or maybe, especially, if we have worked together before. People tell me, and when I pause to reflect I can see for myself, that I have personally learned and grown so much over recent years, and especially the last twelve months, that you will feel a big impact for you too if you are drawn to find out more.
Contact me by replying to this email if you are a subscriber, or via this link if you have seen this on-line or received it from a friend. Let's talk soon and see where that leads.
The card I drew this morning for my daily meditation was Serenity - this has taken me through a busy day, with a great conversation with a new contact, and lots of tasks to be done. Now, connecting with you here, and drawing a card for us, today - whenever you are reading this - here is: Beginnings. Ha! No, I didn't 'fix' it - this is how it works, more magic, the words that emerge always have some link to the sub-conscious, inner wisdom, higher self - which ever term you prefer. And if the link is not initially clear, it will become so.
For you, for your journal or meditation:
You may like to review the past year, or even the past five months of 2016:
- what have you achieved?
- looking back at where you were, and where you are now, what hurdles have you overcome?
- who have you made new connections with?
- how have you changed?
- how do you feel?
- and, what are your aspirations for the year ahead? How would you like to feel in another five months or another year?
If you would like a sounding board, a mirror (for those are my roles as a coach) to help you through those questions, and more that you may have, feel free to contact me for a conversation. There is no obligation at all, no pressure, simply sharing thoughts and getting to know each other a little better.
I invite you to celebrate with me the journey we have all been on together, however we are linked. Whether we know each other well or not - you somehow come to be reading these words. Thank you, thank you for being the wonderful person you are and for being here.
This quote is one I always read aloud at my workshops and one that always inspires me:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?'
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
― Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love: Reflections on the Principles of "A Course in Miracles
May we all shine together and generate magic to change the world as we each dare to blossom in our own special and unique way.
Dare to Blossom Events
Global On-line: Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom
We take off for the first time on Monday 20 June and end - though you may well continue flying - on Friday 15 July. Price £29, or £99 with two thirty minute Skype coaching sessions with me. Includes a new audio guided visualisation for each of the four weeks, materials and prompts, 1:1 support via email and a private FB group to interact with fellow magic carpet adventurers. Full details here.
Hayle, Cornwall: Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom
Saturday 25 June, 10-1, a half-day to share creative visualisations, creative play, laughter and conversation. £25 per person. Full details here
Future dates: Hayle: 24 September and 19 November. Dates in East Cornwall to be announced.
Dare to Blossom at Home events - details here, contact me to discuss.
Inspirational Links
Here are links to some of the people who have been my companions along my journey this year, my apologies to those of you not mentioned here - there are bound to be some as my connections have been so rich and varied, thank you. Email me if you would like your business mentioned in a future newsletter.
Amy Palko "Words to guide you home."
Victoria Smith of The Mojo Lab
Kathy Kane of Kane Creative Consulting
Lucy Pearce of Womancraft Publishing
As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.
If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.
Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.
Until next time,
with love,
Mary
Sunday, 1 May 2016
May 2016 - Going with the Flow
In this Issue:
Reflections: Going with the Flow
Forthcoming events in Cornwall, Glastonbury, and online
Inspirational links: Books and talks
Reflections: Going with the flow
'Going with the flow' - has been emerging as a repeating theme just recently. On reflection I recall that years ago someone suggested this image to me: often I cling on to the banks, to overhanging trees, rocks - anything; breaking my fingernails, bruising my fingers; clinging on desperately to where I am, where I think I should be. So, what if I just let go, let the flow take me down the river? Not struggling, certainly not drowning, just being carried along with no effort. At that time I was in one of those 'hamster wheel' situations where I thought I could not possibly stop clinging on - a lot has changed since then. And yet...... the image arising now is equally powerful.
Where am I going? Am I going with the flow? And if I am, what does that mean? Is it giving in, or is it just letting life carry me along for a while? Will I pause to consult the wisdom of the ancient trees along the banks? (Such as the one in the photo above, taken on the River Fowey near Respryn Bridge a year or so ago).
Do you know, I thought I would be writing a long piece about this, but I now find I have no words today. I feel I need to allow myself to be with the flow instead of trying to 'do' it. And I will leave you to do the same with a few prompts for your journal or meditation as usual:
- Are you clinging on too tightly to the banks of your river?
- What would it feel like to let go?
- What would it be like to drift very gently downstream, safe in a little boat, able to look around you?
As you will see in the events notices below, Cas has chosen a theme for the workshop she is hosting very much in line with my thoughts - whether it is coincidence or synchronicity, who can say?
Forthcoming events in Cornwall, Glastonbury, and online
Near Bodmin on Saturday 14 May: A Dare to Blossom at Home event - sponsored by Flying Lizard Design. There are just a few spaces still left, so please contact Cas or me to book.
Glastonbury on Saturday 21 May: A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving Forward with Ease and Grace"
I have mentioned details of this in earlier newsletters, so a brief summary here, and full details are on the website link. The time is 10-4, at the Miracles Room. New for this month is the 'Bring a Friend' offer - book for the two of you for £90, a price of £45, saving £15 each. Any questions please do contact me with by replying to this if you are reading it in your email, or via the website. If you have already booked, you can still claim a place for a friend and take advantage of the discount.
The workshop on this theme at Hayle on 16 April was a very special morning, with some profound insights emerging for those present. With the luxury of a full day I have some extra activities and suggestions to share that will deepen the experience for those of you who can join us.
Online 20 June - 15 July: A Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom
For those of you who would like to explore even more and those who cannot reach Cornwall or Glastonbury to attend in person - a chance to join a secret Facebook or email group to share a month of magic carpet riding. Full details are here.
The Early Bird price is £19 for bookings before 21 May, £29 once that date has passed. Here is the outline programme, more details will be added to the website and the Facebook event page as time goes on.
Reflections: Going with the Flow
Forthcoming events in Cornwall, Glastonbury, and online
Inspirational links: Books and talks
Reflections: Going with the flow
'Going with the flow' - has been emerging as a repeating theme just recently. On reflection I recall that years ago someone suggested this image to me: often I cling on to the banks, to overhanging trees, rocks - anything; breaking my fingernails, bruising my fingers; clinging on desperately to where I am, where I think I should be. So, what if I just let go, let the flow take me down the river? Not struggling, certainly not drowning, just being carried along with no effort. At that time I was in one of those 'hamster wheel' situations where I thought I could not possibly stop clinging on - a lot has changed since then. And yet...... the image arising now is equally powerful.
Where am I going? Am I going with the flow? And if I am, what does that mean? Is it giving in, or is it just letting life carry me along for a while? Will I pause to consult the wisdom of the ancient trees along the banks? (Such as the one in the photo above, taken on the River Fowey near Respryn Bridge a year or so ago).
Do you know, I thought I would be writing a long piece about this, but I now find I have no words today. I feel I need to allow myself to be with the flow instead of trying to 'do' it. And I will leave you to do the same with a few prompts for your journal or meditation as usual:
- Are you clinging on too tightly to the banks of your river?
- What would it feel like to let go?
- What would it be like to drift very gently downstream, safe in a little boat, able to look around you?
As you will see in the events notices below, Cas has chosen a theme for the workshop she is hosting very much in line with my thoughts - whether it is coincidence or synchronicity, who can say?
Forthcoming events in Cornwall, Glastonbury, and online
Near Bodmin on Saturday 14 May: A Dare to Blossom at Home event - sponsored by Flying Lizard Design. There are just a few spaces still left, so please contact Cas or me to book.
Glastonbury on Saturday 21 May: A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving Forward with Ease and Grace"
I have mentioned details of this in earlier newsletters, so a brief summary here, and full details are on the website link. The time is 10-4, at the Miracles Room. New for this month is the 'Bring a Friend' offer - book for the two of you for £90, a price of £45, saving £15 each. Any questions please do contact me with by replying to this if you are reading it in your email, or via the website. If you have already booked, you can still claim a place for a friend and take advantage of the discount.
The workshop on this theme at Hayle on 16 April was a very special morning, with some profound insights emerging for those present. With the luxury of a full day I have some extra activities and suggestions to share that will deepen the experience for those of you who can join us.
Online 20 June - 15 July: A Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner Wisdom
For those of you who would like to explore even more and those who cannot reach Cornwall or Glastonbury to attend in person - a chance to join a secret Facebook or email group to share a month of magic carpet riding. Full details are here.
The Early Bird price is £19 for bookings before 21 May, £29 once that date has passed. Here is the outline programme, more details will be added to the website and the Facebook event page as time goes on.
The group will
begin gathering as soon as you sign up, once the decision is made the process
begins for you. A week beforehand I will begin inviting you to start tuning in
and preparing and add you to the private group on Facebook (or an email group
if you prefer, just contact me to sign up for that).
Week One 20
June: Find your spark
Week Two 27 June: Move forward with ease and grace
Week Three 4 July: Go with the flow - find your hidden river
Week Four 11 July: Coming home to yourself
Hayle on Saturday 25
June: A Midsummer Magic Carpet Ride to Rediscover your Inner WisdomWeek Two 27 June: Move forward with ease and grace
Week Three 4 July: Go with the flow - find your hidden river
Week Four 11 July: Coming home to yourself
We will be back at the beautiful Heliodor Wellbeing Centre again for a morning of midsummer magic carpet riding.
More details on the website here. Several people have already booked for this event, and you may like to take up the Early Bird offer too - and that ends on 31 May. If you have attended a workshop with me in the past at the Heliodor Wellbeing Centre in Hayle there is a very special price for you of £20.
We will be back in Hayle again on 24 September.
Inspirational Links: Books and talks
I have a great 'reading pile' this month.
Just finished The Other Side of the River by Eila Carrico, published by Womancraft Publishing I wrote a review on Amazon here. Still to read from the same publisher, The Heart of the Labyrinth by Nicole Schwab.
Others in my 'yet to read' heap are Rhyme and Reason - The Poetry of Leadership by Sam Chittenden, who I met at a conference workshop a few years ago. And from Brene Brown Rising Strong. Looking forward to the weather warming up at last so I can sit in the garden and read.
Two TED talks this month, both recommended by Amy Palko and I heartily agree
Thandi Newton on "Embracing otherness, embracing myself"
Barbara Sher on "Isolation is the dream-killer, not attitude"
As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.
If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.
Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.
Until next time,
with love,
Mary
Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter
Thursday, 31 March 2016
April 2016 - Daring
Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
Reflections: Daring
Choosing the title of 'Daring' for these reflections, has grown out of a piece I wrote on 26th March in one of my daily Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card posts on my business Facebook page.
That was prompted by two cards: 'Beginnings' and 'Self-love'. Here is that piece for those of you who may not have seen it:
"Beginnings, with the deep green, is of course perfect for the spring here in the northern hemisphere, and for Easter with the themes of death and rebirth. Re-emergence after the winter, new buds, green shoots.
Self-love, soft purple colour. Today, this relates closely for me to reflections prompted by the book I have just finished reading: 'Daring Greatly' by Brene Brown. Like many of you, I have watched some of her TED talks, but this is the first book of hers I have read.
The sub-title is "How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead." In the book Brene describes her research and shares interview stories, with her own experiences included. I found myself nodding and recognising so much of what she writes about. The way many of us are subjected (and subject ourselves) to shame when all we need to recognise is guilt. She defines the difference as shame being 'I am bad.'; guilt being 'I did something bad.' (substitute any word - wrong, stupid, etc.....) The first is about you as a person, the second about one particular action, which may have been a mistake but can be learned from.
Admitting and sharing vulnerability is a way to connect with others and heal the wounds these things cause, and learn how to give and receive feedback in ways that avoid the damage occurring in the future.
This time of new beginnings, since I returned to running Dare to Blossom as a full time business, has for me brought back many of the feelings of vulnerability and memories of past experiences that rocked my confidence severely.
One of these happened over six years ago now, and whether the people who took the actions they did intended it or not, I felt I was 'not good enough'. The emotions that this experience raises for me even now, tell me how much this impacted on me.
On page 188, Brene writes about this in the world of work: "Shame breeds fear. It crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust. And worst of all, if we don't know what we are looking for, shame can ravage our organisations before we see one outward sign of a problem."
Someone said to me, over a year after that initial crushing experience, 'Where did Mary go?" I have learned over the years since, and reading this book as brought clearly into focus, that Mary was hiding, afraid to come out and be her true self.
'The courage to be vulnerable' as Brene puts it is often not comfortable, and she talks of making discomfort normal, of showing people that growth sometimes stretches us so much it is painful, and that is OK. If parents, employers, teachers can model being vulnerable themselves and support others in doing the same, then everyone benefits.
As you know, I don't usually write such a long piece, [referring to my Facebook posts] and it feels a little scary to share here, a little vulnerable. By doing so I hope it may help some of you to reflect, as reading this book has done for me. Brene Brown has written two books before this one, both of which I hope to read ('The Gifts of Imperfection', and 'I thought it was just me (but it isn't)'), and one later work 'Rising Strong' - which was the one that first attracted me. Here is her website http://brenebrown.com, where you can also find links to her TED talks and other videos.
Returning to my two words - Self-love feels like a necessary preparation and companion for new beginnings."
Since I wrote that, I have been reflecting some more. Everything I have been doing over recent months seems to have been challenging me to own my vulnerability and have the courage to go forward anyway. Recently I 'dared' to try something new, which so far has not had the results I had hoped (more about this below under 'Events'). Debating with myself what to do about this, reading Brene's words and hearing her speak, has reminded me that if I have to refocus, rearrange or cancel something new I am trying out, it is not because 'I'm no good at this.' It is for all sorts of reasons, some of which I maybe could have influenced by doing things differently, and some I could not.
Later I decided to do some painting to free up my thinking, and to simply play. I had fun with some coloured pens and made a border with the wax medium.
A challenge to myself, as the name of my business has always been. The answer is yes - and also that sometimes I ask for support. Sometimes I withdraw for some reflection and self-care. Sometimes I dare to shine like this tulip is shining - using the fleeting highlight of a ray of sunshine to glow even more gloriously. (Apologies for the photo quality - I had to take it through the window on the iPad, and very quickly - not to mention being 'helped' by Edie, one of our little cats.)
Here are my three words together: as often happens when people are working with them in coaching sessions, the combination of the words and the colours brings an expanded message for me.
For you: in your reflections in your journal or meditations:
- Do these words, either individually or together, prompt any thoughts for you?
- Note your first responses and then ask yourself: 'What else is there?'
- Explore the words using this question as long as you wish.
Events
The most effective way to tell you about the continuing series of 'Magic Carpet Ride' Workshops is to share the words of Ruth, who attended one of the 'Rediscover your Spark and Focus' events earlier this year:
"Dear Mary
What a wonderful 3 hours spent with you and the others on the Magic Carpet Ride: Rediscovering Your Spark and Focus. I didn't know what to expect and I certainly didn't expect the transformation I felt during my time with you all!. I would never have imagined that I could feel so different, so focused in such a short time and I can definitely say that as a result I have 'Rediscovered my Spark and Focus'. After a hard 18 months or so I can now say that I am ready to move on and the ideas that keep springing into my mind since the Magic Carpet Ride are phenomenal. Thank you so much and I would highly recommend that anyone who has lost their direction in any aspect on their life's journey join you at one of your workshops."
Hayle: Magic Carpet Ride Workshops - there are three more events planned here this year, and maybe another will be added in November, currently the dates are Saturday 16th April (more details below), Saturday 25 June, and Saturday 24 September, all gathering at 9.30 am for a 10.00 am start and running through to 1.00 pm. Each event, while based around the magic carpet ride guided visualisation process, has a different theme and people are finding that they wish to return to subsequent workshops after attending one. Thank you to those of you doing that, it is affirming and supportive for me. The theme for the next one emerges over time - and I will soon explore what may be coming up later in the year and give you some more information.
Reflections: Daring
Choosing the title of 'Daring' for these reflections, has grown out of a piece I wrote on 26th March in one of my daily Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card posts on my business Facebook page.
That was prompted by two cards: 'Beginnings' and 'Self-love'. Here is that piece for those of you who may not have seen it:
"Beginnings, with the deep green, is of course perfect for the spring here in the northern hemisphere, and for Easter with the themes of death and rebirth. Re-emergence after the winter, new buds, green shoots.
Self-love, soft purple colour. Today, this relates closely for me to reflections prompted by the book I have just finished reading: 'Daring Greatly' by Brene Brown. Like many of you, I have watched some of her TED talks, but this is the first book of hers I have read.
The sub-title is "How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead." In the book Brene describes her research and shares interview stories, with her own experiences included. I found myself nodding and recognising so much of what she writes about. The way many of us are subjected (and subject ourselves) to shame when all we need to recognise is guilt. She defines the difference as shame being 'I am bad.'; guilt being 'I did something bad.' (substitute any word - wrong, stupid, etc.....) The first is about you as a person, the second about one particular action, which may have been a mistake but can be learned from.
Admitting and sharing vulnerability is a way to connect with others and heal the wounds these things cause, and learn how to give and receive feedback in ways that avoid the damage occurring in the future.
This time of new beginnings, since I returned to running Dare to Blossom as a full time business, has for me brought back many of the feelings of vulnerability and memories of past experiences that rocked my confidence severely.
One of these happened over six years ago now, and whether the people who took the actions they did intended it or not, I felt I was 'not good enough'. The emotions that this experience raises for me even now, tell me how much this impacted on me.
On page 188, Brene writes about this in the world of work: "Shame breeds fear. It crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust. And worst of all, if we don't know what we are looking for, shame can ravage our organisations before we see one outward sign of a problem."
Someone said to me, over a year after that initial crushing experience, 'Where did Mary go?" I have learned over the years since, and reading this book as brought clearly into focus, that Mary was hiding, afraid to come out and be her true self.
'The courage to be vulnerable' as Brene puts it is often not comfortable, and she talks of making discomfort normal, of showing people that growth sometimes stretches us so much it is painful, and that is OK. If parents, employers, teachers can model being vulnerable themselves and support others in doing the same, then everyone benefits.
As you know, I don't usually write such a long piece, [referring to my Facebook posts] and it feels a little scary to share here, a little vulnerable. By doing so I hope it may help some of you to reflect, as reading this book has done for me. Brene Brown has written two books before this one, both of which I hope to read ('The Gifts of Imperfection', and 'I thought it was just me (but it isn't)'), and one later work 'Rising Strong' - which was the one that first attracted me. Here is her website http://brenebrown.com, where you can also find links to her TED talks and other videos.
Returning to my two words - Self-love feels like a necessary preparation and companion for new beginnings."
Since I wrote that, I have been reflecting some more. Everything I have been doing over recent months seems to have been challenging me to own my vulnerability and have the courage to go forward anyway. Recently I 'dared' to try something new, which so far has not had the results I had hoped (more about this below under 'Events'). Debating with myself what to do about this, reading Brene's words and hearing her speak, has reminded me that if I have to refocus, rearrange or cancel something new I am trying out, it is not because 'I'm no good at this.' It is for all sorts of reasons, some of which I maybe could have influenced by doing things differently, and some I could not.
Later I decided to do some painting to free up my thinking, and to simply play. I had fun with some coloured pens and made a border with the wax medium.
A challenge to myself, as the name of my business has always been. The answer is yes - and also that sometimes I ask for support. Sometimes I withdraw for some reflection and self-care. Sometimes I dare to shine like this tulip is shining - using the fleeting highlight of a ray of sunshine to glow even more gloriously. (Apologies for the photo quality - I had to take it through the window on the iPad, and very quickly - not to mention being 'helped' by Edie, one of our little cats.)
Here are my three words together: as often happens when people are working with them in coaching sessions, the combination of the words and the colours brings an expanded message for me.
For you: in your reflections in your journal or meditations:
- Do these words, either individually or together, prompt any thoughts for you?
- Note your first responses and then ask yourself: 'What else is there?'
- Explore the words using this question as long as you wish.
Events
The most effective way to tell you about the continuing series of 'Magic Carpet Ride' Workshops is to share the words of Ruth, who attended one of the 'Rediscover your Spark and Focus' events earlier this year:
"Dear Mary
What a wonderful 3 hours spent with you and the others on the Magic Carpet Ride: Rediscovering Your Spark and Focus. I didn't know what to expect and I certainly didn't expect the transformation I felt during my time with you all!. I would never have imagined that I could feel so different, so focused in such a short time and I can definitely say that as a result I have 'Rediscovered my Spark and Focus'. After a hard 18 months or so I can now say that I am ready to move on and the ideas that keep springing into my mind since the Magic Carpet Ride are phenomenal. Thank you so much and I would highly recommend that anyone who has lost their direction in any aspect on their life's journey join you at one of your workshops."
Hayle: Magic Carpet Ride Workshops - there are three more events planned here this year, and maybe another will be added in November, currently the dates are Saturday 16th April (more details below), Saturday 25 June, and Saturday 24 September, all gathering at 9.30 am for a 10.00 am start and running through to 1.00 pm. Each event, while based around the magic carpet ride guided visualisation process, has a different theme and people are finding that they wish to return to subsequent workshops after attending one. Thank you to those of you doing that, it is affirming and supportive for me. The theme for the next one emerges over time - and I will soon explore what may be coming up later in the year and give you some more information.
A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace -
Hayle 16th April
This event is nearly fully booked, so please if possible contact me direct to book rather than via the PayPal link. If you are inspired to be there I am sure there will be a place for you. Click on the picture to visit the website for more details. The price given on the website after the Early Bird Price ended on 31 March is £28 per person, as a regular newsletter reader I can offer you a place at £25. Again, contact me direct to book. Also, if you attend one workshop, every one you come along to this year will be £20 for you as a thank you.
Glastonbury: A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and
Grace - full day workshop 21 May
On Saturday 21 May we will be sharing a full day magic carpet riding at the beautiful Miracles Room in Glastonbury. When I ran the workshop there last year it was a half day during the week. The feedback I received was that people would prefer a full day, and for it to be on a Saturday. So that is what we are doing this time, gathering at 9.30 am for 10.00 am start, and ending at 4.00 pm. This will allow a more in-depth exploration of the themes and the insights arising, plus time to share conversation over a leisurely lunch at the cafe in the Courtyard. If you are staying close to Glastonbury, or do not have too far to travel home, you may also wish to spend some time in the town visiting one of the many special places there. Click on the photo for full details.
The cost per person is £60, with a special price for newsletter subscribers so please email via this link to ask questions and to book. There is the option to pay a deposit of £20, and also some places at concessionary rates.
Wadebridge: Dare to Blossom in Business "Refresh and
Refocus your Business" - full day workshop Friday 22 April
This new programme begins on Friday 22 April 10-4, at the Paddock Room, Hawksfield, near Wadebridge. This is the part mentioned in my reflections piece, that I have had to review. Yesterday I took the step of asking for support, asking for help and feedback. Thank you so much to the people who responded so positively, your help led smoothly to the decision to restructure the pricing.
You now have a choice: you can book the workshop alone for £55 per person. If you would like one or more follow-up coaching sessions on Skype or phone, then you can book up to three at £40 each for the full 60 minutes. Full details are to be found here.
If you have any questions please just contact me by replying to this email. Everyone has the opportunity to book a complementary 20 minute consultation to find out if Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Coaching will suit your requirements from coaching support.
If you feel you cannot spare time for a whole day away from your business or prefer to work one-to-one, contact me so we can discuss a tailored programme for you. I can also provide in-house workshops and coaching programmes to refresh and inspire you and your team together.
Dare to Blossom at Home events
These are held in your own home and tailored to you and your guests. I am delighted to be working with two people at present who have booked dates. One person has asked me to help promote for her (you can choose if you would like me to do this, or to simply invite your own circle of friends and family) - this one is on Saturday 14 May, in a very special spot on Bodmin Moor. Contact me if you are interested in this and I will send you more details once they are finalised. In the meantime click on the photo for general information.
As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.
If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.
Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.
Until next time,
with love,
Mary
Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter
Sunday, 28 February 2016
March 2016 - Coming Home
Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
In this Issue:
New logo
Reflections: Coming Home
Events
Inspirational links
New Logo
You may have noticed the new logo - this was designed by the talented graphic designer Cas Smirthwaite of Flying Lizard Design. She has also made new banner designs for me for the forthcoming Cornwall Business Show. I am delighted with the fresh approach and although I remain very attached to my original photograph of the passionflowers, I feel this represents my newly refreshed business as I continue to dare to blossom.
Reflections: Coming Home
Sitting in the garden on a rare (for this winter) sunny day, wondering what the theme will be for my reflections this month. Smiling at myself - wrapped up in layers of warm clothes - and a sun hat. There is a chill wind blowing in the trees around me. It feels like a March wind even though it is still February as I write. Crows cawing; small birds singing; two young cats (no longer really kittens) playing rough and tumble nearby.
I can also hear hammering from work on the conversion of old farm buildings, saving them from decline and ruin and giving them a useful purpose once more. Observing, observing not only the sights and sounds around me - ooh, the flutter of a sparrow's wings almost ruffles my hair as it shoots past low over my head. Observing also my chain of thoughts - that take me next to remembering that despite the conversion of the buildings, we have seen barn owls again recently. And what a glorious full moon has been shining the last few nights.
Not random thoughts, even if the chain that links them seems tenuous or even disconnected. They are, in reality, very much connected. Linked to this place, this physical place, my home for almost forty years now. And connected with my internal home, myself. This past year, in fact the past several years - have been a process of coming home to myself.
Only very recently, as I continue to focus on refreshing and renewing my coaching work under Dare to Blossom, has this seemed to open out into new potential. Into the rediscovery, not only of myself, but of my power within, my sovereignty (to use one of my words for this year).
This has been about recognising and reclaiming many lost or overlooked parts of myself - and about reintegrating them into my life. I was going to say 'my working life', but my intention is to create a life. A life that includes work and that also has a good balance of all the other things that are important to me. Now, for me, (unlike in the past) I feel there is no separation between these essential aspects of me, and my business.
Art, creativity, health, spirituality, family, friends, walking, nature, reading - all these things are part of me - part of the 'myself' I am coming home to at last. Including the work I love to do. I have begun to realise that all my past experience is becoming integrated - many of those experiences have been uncomfortable, even painful at the time. I don't believe that bad experiences are necessary, but they are the way most of us learn what we need to know - in coping, in finding strength within we had no idea we possessed, in coming through.
The more I allow myself to live a life I love, to allow it flow with ease and grace (my other two words for this year) - then the more I have to offer to others.
For you, to reflect in your journal or meditations:
- which missing parts of yourself are you longing to reclaim?
- childhood pastimes
- Art, writing, nature, walking, skipping, collecting stamps.........
- how can you bring some of these back into your life? (you could choose one to start with and then, once you have had a play with that, try another if you wish)
Some of this exercise can be revealing, and yes, maybe a little painful if you are reminded of missed opportunities. Be gentle with yourself and have fun with the activity you choose to begin with. As one of my tag-lines goes 'Live a life you love. Start here, start today - if not now, when?'
As I write this a new programme for 'Dare to Blossom in Business' is evolving - you will see details of this below.
To end these reflections I would like to thank once again all the amazing coaches and supporters I have around me - each of you has offered me something unique and special. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here is the poem, by John O'Donohue, that originally inspired me to think it was even possible to 'come home to myself':
In this Issue:
New logo
Reflections: Coming Home
Events
Inspirational links
New Logo
You may have noticed the new logo - this was designed by the talented graphic designer Cas Smirthwaite of Flying Lizard Design. She has also made new banner designs for me for the forthcoming Cornwall Business Show. I am delighted with the fresh approach and although I remain very attached to my original photograph of the passionflowers, I feel this represents my newly refreshed business as I continue to dare to blossom.
Reflections: Coming Home
Sitting in the garden on a rare (for this winter) sunny day, wondering what the theme will be for my reflections this month. Smiling at myself - wrapped up in layers of warm clothes - and a sun hat. There is a chill wind blowing in the trees around me. It feels like a March wind even though it is still February as I write. Crows cawing; small birds singing; two young cats (no longer really kittens) playing rough and tumble nearby.
I can also hear hammering from work on the conversion of old farm buildings, saving them from decline and ruin and giving them a useful purpose once more. Observing, observing not only the sights and sounds around me - ooh, the flutter of a sparrow's wings almost ruffles my hair as it shoots past low over my head. Observing also my chain of thoughts - that take me next to remembering that despite the conversion of the buildings, we have seen barn owls again recently. And what a glorious full moon has been shining the last few nights.
Not random thoughts, even if the chain that links them seems tenuous or even disconnected. They are, in reality, very much connected. Linked to this place, this physical place, my home for almost forty years now. And connected with my internal home, myself. This past year, in fact the past several years - have been a process of coming home to myself.
Only very recently, as I continue to focus on refreshing and renewing my coaching work under Dare to Blossom, has this seemed to open out into new potential. Into the rediscovery, not only of myself, but of my power within, my sovereignty (to use one of my words for this year).
This has been about recognising and reclaiming many lost or overlooked parts of myself - and about reintegrating them into my life. I was going to say 'my working life', but my intention is to create a life. A life that includes work and that also has a good balance of all the other things that are important to me. Now, for me, (unlike in the past) I feel there is no separation between these essential aspects of me, and my business.
Art, creativity, health, spirituality, family, friends, walking, nature, reading - all these things are part of me - part of the 'myself' I am coming home to at last. Including the work I love to do. I have begun to realise that all my past experience is becoming integrated - many of those experiences have been uncomfortable, even painful at the time. I don't believe that bad experiences are necessary, but they are the way most of us learn what we need to know - in coping, in finding strength within we had no idea we possessed, in coming through.
The more I allow myself to live a life I love, to allow it flow with ease and grace (my other two words for this year) - then the more I have to offer to others.
For you, to reflect in your journal or meditations:
- which missing parts of yourself are you longing to reclaim?
- childhood pastimes
- Art, writing, nature, walking, skipping, collecting stamps.........
- how can you bring some of these back into your life? (you could choose one to start with and then, once you have had a play with that, try another if you wish)
Some of this exercise can be revealing, and yes, maybe a little painful if you are reminded of missed opportunities. Be gentle with yourself and have fun with the activity you choose to begin with. As one of my tag-lines goes 'Live a life you love. Start here, start today - if not now, when?'
As I write this a new programme for 'Dare to Blossom in Business' is evolving - you will see details of this below.
To end these reflections I would like to thank once again all the amazing coaches and supporters I have around me - each of you has offered me something unique and special. I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Here is the poem, by John O'Donohue, that originally inspired me to think it was even possible to 'come home to myself':
"To come
home to yourself.
May all that is unforgiving in you
Be released
May your fears yield their deepest tranquilities
May all that is unlived in you blossom
into a future graced with love."
www.johnodonohue.com
May all that is unforgiving in you
Be released
May your fears yield their deepest tranquilities
May all that is unlived in you blossom
into a future graced with love."
www.johnodonohue.com
Events
My diary is looking very interesting now, I love how this year of 2016 is developing and flowing with new connections and opportunities. Here are some of those in case they are of interest to you. Most are local to me here in Cornwall, so my apologies if you are not within traveling distance - though you may have friends who are and may be interested.
3 March TME Networking Lunch (12-2 pm) at Lakeview, near Bodmin. Beautifully facilitated by Gemma Massey of The Main Event Management Company, these gatherings are friendly as well as professional. Personally, I have found them very productive. Gemma's coaching style prompts each of us to think deeply about what is needed right now for your business. I will be the guest speaker at various locations for TME over future months: 21 March at Siblyback Lake, 7 April at Lakeview, and 10 May at Roadford Lake. As you see, Gemma chooses unusual and beautiful locations.
8 March LifeTalks at the Victoria Inn, Threemilestone near Truro, (7-9 pm) . A new group for me, though many of the members are old friends. The speaker is Sarah Turner on Solution focused Hypnotherapy. On 12 April, I am speaking on Life Coaching – Practical Tools to Rediscover your spark, and focus.
17 March Cornwall Business Show at the Royal Cornwall Showground near Wadebridge. Free to visit, and if you pre-register via their website you are entered into a draw to win a package of business support worth over £6000 (which happens to include a five-session coaching programme from Dare to Blossom). My stand is in the 'Health and Wellbeing Zone', No. 83 (though I am informed that the stand numbers may change). I will be offering a chance to enter my own draw to win a coaching package. While you are there, you can pick a 'word for the day' from the Rediscovery Cards and experience for yourself how they work. There will also be a chance to ask questions about the Dare to Blossom in Business Programme (see more below) before the Early Bird rate which closes on the following day, 18th March.
19 March The Vibrant Living Show at Heartlands, Pool, Cornwall, from 10 am - 4 pm. Here I will be exhibiting my original artworks, greetings cards, books, and of course the Rediscovery Cards. I am also giving a talk from 11.15-11.45 entitled 'Will you Dare to Blossom?'
And finally (phew!), here are details of the forthcoming workshops:
A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace
16 April 10-1 Hayle, 21 May 10-4 Glastonbury. Full details of each event can be found on my website by following the links.
Dare to Blossom in Business: Refresh and Refocus Business
Development Programme
This new programme begins on Friday 22 April 10-4, at the Paddock Room, Hawksfield, near Wadebridge, and has three levels of coaching support included, depending on which package you choose. There is a £50 discount for bookings made before 18 March, bringing the price for Early Bird bookings for the 'Silver' package to £95 which includes a one hour follow-up Skype or telephone coaching session to enable you to consolidate and continue the progress made on the day. (Value: £90). Full details are to be found here.
If you feel you cannot spare time for a whole day away from your business or prefer to work one-to-one, contact me so we can discuss a tailored programme for you. I can also provide in-house workshops and coaching programmes to refresh and inspire you and your team together.
Inspirational Links
Three wonderful retreats, I have not attended them all, but I know each of the organisers personally and you can be sure of a very special time if the particular event appeals to you:
Mindfulness, Reiki and Sound Retreat run by Jane Edwards and Ruth Lerew, at Blackadon Barn Farm on Dartmoor, from 13th to 16th May.
Simple Sanctuary Retreat in Tuscany with Mary McConnell of Star Therapies and colleague Carol from 28th May to 4th June.
Conscious Writing Retreat with Julia McCutcheon in Glastonbury from 10th to 13th June. I loved this retreat when I participated two years ago, if you want to know more about Julia's approach I can recommend her book Conscious Writing.
As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.
If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.
Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.
Until next time,
with love,
Mary
* find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.
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