March 2013

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom newsletter

In this issue:

Reflections: Falling
Update on special offer: Rediscovery Session
Inspiring conference: Euro Coach List Conference 2013 "Reaching New Heights"

Falling

Falling, tumbling
Tripping, stumbling

Flying through the air
Landing on hard ground

Just catching myself….
Or the crunch and pain of grazes and bruises?

How close one is to the other,
Near escapes, never known how close..
Until I fall.

Repercussions
Reverberation
Recurring aches

Bringing me up short
Stop and think
Going too fast?
Wrong direction?
Need to rest?

Falling – what is your message?

Falling – this poem describes just some of my thoughts following a recent fall I experienced. I simply tripped on small kerb that I did not see. One moment I was enjoying a lovely sunny morning, happy in my work and my life.

The next, I had landed very heavily, with no broken bones, but bruises and strains and grazes. And a dented pride feeling very silly as two kind men older than me helped me up.

In that split second life changed, just a little in this case. In other times my life has changed dramatically following an event that literally took a ‘split second’.

Sometimes change is planned, sometimes it is wanted – longed for even. Other times change is not planned but anticipated  - with feelings attached. Are these feelings helping you in relation to the change, or hindering you? Sometimes we anticipate a change so strongly that it is a type of grief – ‘pre-grieving’ maybe (thank you Maria for that expression).

Grief – like any other emotion – is not in itself ‘good’ or ‘bad’. And like other emotions it has a purpose and this is to be felt, to be expressed in some way. Perhaps when emotions are seen as ‘bad’ this is because we do not know how to express them? Anger is the example most often used: feeling angry is a flag waved at us, signifying something is not right. Do we use that flag to hit out at the person nearest to us (whether or not they are the cause) – or do we pay attention, look at how that feeling can be used as a warning and as a prompt to change something?

Grieving is often called a process. In my experience it is also different for each of us, and in different circumstances, at different times. Any change can prompt a type of grief for what is lost in order to change and move on. In the grief of losing someone through death, we are accustomed to using rituals. We often talking about 'celebrating someone's life' during a funeral. We use the occasion to see that person anew, to rediscover and remember their achievements, and the things we loved about them.

Perhaps rituals are also valuable in other sorts of change that prompt a feeling of grief? Moving house from a well-loved family home is an example. Maybe a party could be arranged to celebrate that as well as the more usual 'house-warming' party?

I wrote last month about my new focus on ‘rediscovery’ as a term for how coaching works. Sometimes you simply cannot see what is literally 'right under your nose' and need someone or something as a mirror to reflect this for you.  As I write, today, on a cold, quiet, calm Sunday afternoon, as I write – I am rediscovering again for myself how this can work. Knowing that you will be reading this soon adds focus and poignancy to my thinking too.

A thought that arose this morning was that ‘change’ is what everyone has in common. Maybe you feel stuck and want to make some changes?

(And at the same time this is scary and unsettling?)

New career, starting a business, beginning a creative project, new relationship, changing the way you eat, exercise, live?

Maybe you are facing enforced change? Redundancy, illness, family changes –  children leaving home, older parents needing care, the death of loved ones.

All of these can at different times be frightening, exhilarating, challenging. Change often leads to new and better things emerging in life. My experience is that some of my darkest times have in some way been the gateway to a big change. At the time the future has been shrouded in tears and grief, pain and doubt. Later I have been able to see the gifts that were brought by those big changes.

Other experiences of mine have been apparently positive but have involved leaving some people, places or habits behind, making choices and trusting to an unknown future – taking that leap and trusting that the bridge would appear as I landed.

A simple way of describing how coaching can help may be to describe my role as a ‘life change coach’, someone who stands beside you as you take those steps to rediscovery, to access the knowledge that you already have in your heart. To continue to live this process called ‘life’ in the way that only you – a unique and wonderful person – can do.

For You: Reflections in your journal or meditations:

Write about ‘change’ and what it means to you. Perhaps use the flow-writing technique, set a timer for 10 or 20 minutes, put your pen to the paper and write. You may write nonsense, or a shopping list, or ‘I don’t know what to write’. Just keep writing, do not think about the words, or let that internal critic jump in, just write.

When your time is up, stop. You may choose to reflect on the process and how it felt before looking at your words. You may wish not to read them – in some circumstances it can be cathartic to ritually tear up and/or burn the paper to symbolise letting go.

If you choose, you may like to read through and highlight or underline any phrases or words that stand out for you. These might suggest a poem to you, or spark some further writing, or some artwork.

Rediscovery Sessions

During February you will have received two extra emails from me - something I rarely do (and my apologies if you felt I was bombarding you with messages). However, as the special offer they contained is not available through my website yet, I will give some details again here.

A further question that I have been asked is 'How do I decide if a Rediscovery Session is right for me?' The answer is - as for any of my services - at any time you can contact me for a free telephone consultation to discuss your requirements and how I work.

Sometimes it is important simply to hear each other's voices to know if it feels right. One of my clients said to me that she had seen various pieces of publicity, looked at my website, deliberated over what to do etc, and then when she picked up the phone she knew my approach was for her as soon as we spoke.

So, if you are not sure, please do email and ask for an appointment for a chat on the phone or Skype.

Here is a brief version of the special offer details again:

Special offer for newsletter subscribers: a Personal Rediscovery Session

If you choose to try this, you will give yourself the gift of a quiet reflective time with me as your companion, to explore what really matters to you, reconnect with those things that make your heart sing, and arrive at a way forward to continue the process of rediscovery – by yourself or with my support whenever you wish. 

You will leave with a new clarity and focus, a renewed inward connection with yourself and some steps to take to move forward in the direction you want.

Price: £47 per session lasting 45 – 60 minutes by telephone or Skype. After your first trial session there will be further discounts for pre-payment for future Rediscovery Sessions. This is as a thank you for your support.
 
Booking your telephone or Skype session

Please contact me to receive details of the time slots I have available, they will mostly be in the evening (UK time) or on a Saturday morning, but there may be some daytime slots.

It would be helpful if you can supply the following details in your email:          

• Your phone number or Skype address (I can call you free of charge on a landline, but not a mobile)
• Your time zone
• The preferred day of the week for your session

For those in Cornwall

I have three opportunities available to meet in person for your Rediscovery Session. These will be on the morning of Saturday 30 March in Wadebridge, each session will be 45 minutes, and at the same investment of £47.

(Yes, it is Easter Saturday - somewhere between the hot cross buns and the Easter eggs, the children's activities and family outings - somewhere, can you can spare some time for YOU?)

The times available are:

• 9.00 a.m.
• 11.00 a.m.
• 12.00 noon

This picture seemed to convey to me the idea of focused and guided 

rediscovery. We came across this sculpture last May at Trewidden, one of the great Cornish gardens. There is nothing to explain what it signifies, it appears to be made of bronze. I love the way it frames the woodland behind it, suggesting a doorway of sorts, and also looks organic and mysterious. Simply looking through it gives a different perspective.

Inspiring Conference: Euro Coach List Conference 2013 "Reaching New Heights"

The conference is held in November every year and is open to non-members of the 'Euro Coach List', anyone who is interested in coaching in the broadest sense in fact. The call for proposals is currently out, see more here is you would like to give a presentation or run a workshop. Booking will be open soon to attend and you can sign up for news and information on the same page is you wish.

And finally... for fun

....and for a good cause, local police in Falmouth, Cornwall, have raised thousands for an appeal for funds to adapt a home for a severely disabled youngster - enjoy!