Daring

13 June 2013 My first attempt at a name for my coaching business was Flying in the Face of Fear. This was the title of my book drawing together the stories of women like me who had been through the experience of cervical cancer.. Although a great description of that time, I felt that for the forward-looking process of life coaching I wanted something different. When I eventually decided on Dare to Blossom Life Coaching as the name, I found people continually challenging me: "Well, have you?" they would ask when I handed them my business card - "Have you dared to blossom?"  Quite a challenge. Over time I began to think of this more as a process than a one-off, as daring to blossom. (And I used that title for a series of workshops that may well be repeated in the future). Daring feels softer, kinder, allowing me to take baby steps. The original inspiration for the name was a card that is still on my cork board beside my desk. It bears a quote from Anais Nin that reads: "...and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Somehow, that transmuted in my mind to "dare to blossom", and has been an inspiration ever since. Daring now, today, feels to me a description, a challenge, maybe an affirmation - of my path over the last few years. I often do not feel daring: just the opposite. I feel like hiding away, not writing any more, not exposing my thoughts to the world. Last week I had a moment in my working day when I suddenly had a crisis of confidence. Standing in front of a group of people, I felt tired of the sound of my own voice; worried that I wasn't making sense; afraid of.... I don't know what. And I wanted to run away and hide. I didn't, just noticed the wobble. And I'll be back, today, tomorrow, and the day after - in front of other groups, and the same people when Friday comes around again. Daring to pick myself up and carry on. And here I am with you too. I am peeking out, almost peering between my fingers like a small child playing peek-a-boo. Wondering if you are still there, or if you have gone away and left me alone. It may be a topic for another time, but writing this has reminded of the feeling I used to have, and that still returns sometimes, a feeling of being invisible, of not existing, of worrying that people forgot all about me when I was out of sight. So dealing with that feeling during my life has been a case of daring to show up anyway; daring to explore who 'Mary' is; gradually finding out that I do exist as a separate person, as a unique individual. And having discovered and begun to value my own special qualities, then, at last to rediscover that I am part of a greater whole. Not as an invisible and insignificant particle; rather as a unique and shining individual star in a universe of interconnected bright, bright stars consisting of each of us, all of us dancing to the music of the heavens, supporting and celebrating as the worlds turn. ............................... That was a true piece of flow-writing, words that just jumped out onto the page, apparently of their own volition. Words that may, or may not, have any meaning for you as you read them. For you to take or leave as you wish. All prompted by this small card with six letters upon it in an order that spells Daring. The soft green background, as with all the colours in the pack, just 'chose itself' - I did not consciously choose which colours went with each word. Today, looking at the card on the desk beside me, I love the contrast: a word that can seem quite challenging, coupled with a soft, natural, spring-fresh green. A calm colour, to me it is saying "take your time, take those small steps, dare a little each day," Until next time, thank you all for being the shining stars in my world, Mary