March 2019: Visibility

March 2019

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
Coming to you nice and early for March

Reflections: Visibility
News: Finalist in the Venus Awards for Women
April Dare to Blossom Mastermind Circle: Purpose
Subscriber half-price coaching offer
Cornwall Business Show
Silver Tent TV Interview
Events and ways to Dare to Blossom

Reflections: Visibility

With all that has been happening for me recently, this was a word that popped into my mind  when choosing a topic for my reflections this month. As I often do, I chose to visit the Oxford Dictionary for a definition: it is very simple "The state of being able to see or be seen."

As I began to reflect looked at images first, and I chose these two very different photos from my library as, for me, they illustrate aspects of 'visibility' that are quite difficult to put into words.The very pale datura flower (also known as 'angels' trumpets' ) shines out, even on a dull day or at dusk.



The sunlight streaming through a gap in the clouds over the sea off the North Devon coast, illuminates the surroundings.



"The state of being able to see or be seen." There seems to be so much more tied up in this, certainly for me, and, I know, for many of the people I work with in coaching and at my workshops. As a natural introvert (see more on this in my Silver Tent interview, link below), I have often felt more comfortable not being seen, not being visible. When I was a child I was often told to be quiet, and I think I may have felt the easiest way was to hide away so I couldn't be seen either.

Yet we human beings are complicated, aren't we? I also remember times, as a teenager and as a young woman, when I felt that people might forget that I existed when they couldn't see me. I was often truly surprised when someone I had met once or twice recognised me. Also, I enjoyed recognition when I had done well, perhaps in a test or assignment at school. Having said that, there was a period of time when I was bullied as a young teenager, just because I was reasonably clever, and did my homework. And I liked being alone. 

This range of diverse feelings is illustrated by a memory I have: I was about twelve, maybe thirteen. The grammar school I went to at that time was very small, only about 150 pupils, and in a small old-fashioned building. I loved the Library, a wood-paneled room full of books. One lunch time I was there reading 'Lord of the Rings' when the headmaster came in. I was surprised that he knew my name (now I am sure he made sure he knew everyone), and we had a conversation about books. I felt very comfortable talking to him. I don't remember if he asked me why I was there by myself, he may have done. I don't know if I would have said that I enjoyed it as a safe haven away from the bullies (some of whom became friends a few years later).

Moving on into adulthood, I somehow negotiated that teenage angst of wanting to be 'seen' by the boys, and also not wanting to be just seen for what my outward appearance may have been. And onward through business and employment where I had to speak out and be visible. My first business was making and selling crafts, so I had something to show people, for them to look at rather than at me.

Now that I am selling my services I have had to become comfortable with having to show people who I am, tell them what I can do. I have a few 'products' - books, art, and the Rediscovery Cards that speak for me. Mostly I have to simply be me. I know now, at last, that I don't need to try and please everyone. The way I deliver the message - which as a coach, is pretty much the same message as everyone else in the profession - the way I deliver the message, my particular way, will attract people who can only hear it the way I put it over. As is the case with many books, each of us may read the same ideas over and over, and yet we only truly hear them when there is that moment of connection. A way of speaking or a turn of phrase that makes that impact direct to the heart.

That is what I hope to achieve by being visible - that the people who I can truly help through my personal way of speaking and and writing will see me and be drawn to work with me. That is the key to successful marketing, and a key that is hard to find in practice - reaching those people and not dispersing my energy and efforts by attempting to appeal to 'everyone'.

One of my  friends, with whom I exchange coaching sessions, recently introduced me to an article by Jeff Goins 'I'm not busy, just focused', which I found very helpful. That is how I intend to be: focused on who I want to be, and on offering what I do to those who will hear me.

For you, some suggestions for your meditations or journal:
- write about what 'visibility' means to you.
- do any memories surface?
- are there any stories that you tell yourself about visibility?
- maybe draw, paint or collage to find other ways of expressing 'visibility' other than words.

A reminder seems appropriate here: some of these exercises may have a very deep impact, please do seek professional support from a counsellor or therapist if you find they raises feelings or memories that are hard to deal with on your own.

News: Finalist in the Venus Awards for Women

Thank you to everyone who has congratulated me on being nominated  for the Devon and Cornwall Region Venus Awards for Women. As I mentioned last month, the announcement of the final three women in each category took place on 8th February. Much to my surprise, I am one of the finalists in the 'Lifetime Achievement' category. Such an honour, and I have no idea how the sponsors can choose between all the inspiring women who have been nominated.



These two photos were taken by Poppy Jakes, the official photographer. She has huge technical ability, and such a knack for being very quick and getting natural shots. The first photo (or on the left, depending on how you are viewing this) was during the networking before the announcements, and the second, on the right, the posed one afterwards.

The next stage is a meeting with the sponsors so they can make their final decision. Then comes the grand gala 'red carpet' dinner - a different sort of challenge for me as my natural attire is jeans and wellies, so finding a comfortable and glamorous outfit for the evening is proving interesting. I think I am almost there, aiming at a relaxed 'Judy Dench on the red carpet' style, comfortable as well as appropriate for the occasion. While I have been writing this, I have been seeing pictures of Olivia Colman's Oscar dress style - I love her look too.

As I probably said in February, the true prize is being nominated, and I am simply enjoying the ride now, who knows what will happen on the night? I will let you know in April.

April Dare to Blossom Mastermind Circle: Purpose

In the words of my meditation poem "Compass Rose Speaks":

"Look up, look North. To your guiding star, your purpose."

We share in a private Facebook group where I post daily prompts for you - and you can take part by email if you prefer not to use Facebook - and meet live once a week on Fridays at 10.00 am UK time (a change from the 9.00 am time to make it easier for those in different time zones around the world). These gatherings are recorded so you can watch later if you cannot join us. You are always included even if you are not physically present on the call.

To find out more, or to book a place, so visit the website page here if you are interested, and contact me if you have any questions.



Subscriber half-price coaching offer

Twice a year I offer a special rate on one to one coaching sessions to you in gratitude for your being here with me and reading this every month. Some of you have been subscribers right from the beginning (which I think was in March 2007).

I am offering you as a subscriber a half-price package on either of my coaching programmes: Rediscovery Coaching - the six 30 or 60 minute coaching calls on Zoom, with a flexible structure for those of you who prefer to choose your own format. Whether your focus is business, health, relationships or life in general, simply contact me and book a free consultation here.

Alternatively, I am offering you a 50% discount on the 'Pathway to Power' package of six sessions. We will explore each part of the Compass Rose, beginning with Peace in the centre, progressing through Purpose, Passion, Power and Progress, and returning back to the centre point, to Peace in the final session.

You can choose half hour or one hour sessions, the details are all here, but contact me before booking so I can give you your discount.

Cornwall Business Show

Cornwall Business Show: As I mentioned last month, this is coming up, on 14th March at the Royal Cornwall Showground near Wadebridge. If you are in Cornwall or Devon, it is worth visiting. There is free entry, and you can pre-register by using the link. Come and say hello of Stand FG5.

Silver Tent TV Interview

Recently I was interviewed for the second time by Siobhan Riordan for Silver Tent TV. This time the subject was 'The Quiet Ones'. There are many other interviews on the Silver Tent YouTube channel for you watch too.

Events and ways to Dare to Blossom

Three Card Listenings These are continuing to be popular with people who want a snapshot of insight for themselves.

Cornwall Workshops: The first workshop of 2019 at the Blue Lotus was a joy as always. The next is on Saturday 9th March, from 10 am to 1 pm. This time we will be exploring Purpose.

Root and Branch Listenings are available at any time as a one-off, or as a quarterly subscription. If you choose to subscribe,  you will receive your personal Listening four times a year. The next issue will be in March for the Spring Equinox so I will be starting work on those very soon, so book now if you would like to be sure of receiving yours before 21st March.



Point of Focus Membership: if you prefer a monthly timescale with Dare to Blossom Cards drawn for you to reflect upon, with the option of adding on one-to-one coaching calls with me, the Point of Focus subscription may be for you. Some people find subscribing to these and the 'Root and Branch Listenings' together a valuable source of support.
 

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

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