Aspiration

9 April 2014 Interesting word - 'Aspiration'. I read in the dictionary that it is derived from Latin, with the original meaning "action of breathing into", and the modern meaning "steadfast longing for a higher goal, earnest desire for something above one". So what do I aspire to? What are my aspirations? Creating, whether writing, painting, sewing, the craft work I made and sold as a business for years - has always been part of my life. 'Breathing into' whatever I do with passion and commitment - and with joy and excitement and fun - is a key part of life for me. Maybe it is fundamental - creating is life? Everything is all about creating. Does it feel that way for you? From the moment I wake in the morning I am creating my day: will I choose to give in to feeling tired and a little grumpy (as I often do, feel it I mean, I hope I don't give in to it too often?) - or will I choose to get up with grace and be open to what the day brings without colouring it with those feelings? People who may feel they have not achieved a lot in their lives have been creating quietly rather than publicly and flamboyantly. I often look around at other women and slip into the trap of comparison: she has a lovely family and grandchildren; she has a successful career and glittering awards. When I turn outwards in a different way and appreciate the things my close friends and family do for me and the links I have around the world with people I have never met - then I realise that I am living my own life in my own way. My way is different, as is your way, and that of the person next to you - the joy of each individual creating. My particular aspirations are unique to me, as are yours to you. My "steadfast longing for a higher goal, earnest desire for something above one", is about seeing the special spark in each of us. I hope in some way to help the people I come into contact with to see that in themselves. To truly believe that they do have their own answers; that they can connect with the universal wisdom that resides in themselves and every other soul; that they can come to know themselves in their own hearts and be seen as the glorious creative beings we all are. This photograph I took last weekend at the Caerhays Castle Gardens, in the mist somehow illustrates this for me. The towering rhododendron with the stunning flowers, the fallen petals beautifully creating a carpet of red. Even as the petals will be adding to the richness of the soil as they decay and decompose, they are sharing of themselves. I am struggling to explain why this seems apt here - I am not sure if there is really a relevant metaphor to be drawn out - maybe I simply need to share the beauty of a transitory moment - the flowers, the tree, the misty weather conditions - all combining in a moment that will never be repeated in exactly the same way. Maybe my aspiration is to be awake - awake to those moments of natural beauty; awake to my own insights and inspirations; awake to others around me. We are all on a similar road, sometimes tripping on the bumps, stumbling in the mist, each feeling alone but surrounded by beauty and support if we look and truly see. The colour of the card is the deep deep blue of a summer sky right overhead. It is a shame that the phrase 'blue sky thinking' has been so over-used. I love that idea of allowing thoughts to wander off into the distance; to soar above day-to-day concerns and constraints; to fly off into new realms, and to return to inspire us to aim for heights beyond our wildest dreams - to aspire to achieve our very highest potential. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Joy

2 April 2014

A lovely card to come out this week. Looking at it, I am thinking what a happy shape the word makes, I've not noticed that before. The three letters just look as if they are enjoying themselves! (The exclamation mark is because I've realised that 'enjoyed' itself includes 'joy'.)

Joy has lots of meanings for me: the joy of special life events - a marriage, a birth, a graduation after a lot of hard work. And the joy of being unreasonably happy - happy without a reason - like a child, just skipping along and humming because life is good.

The glorious colour is joyful in itself - and of course is a shade of the vibrant cerise pink that is my symbol, the beautiful passionflower. I've had a few ups and downs and difficult moments this week, and this card has been a reminder on my desk to appreciate the moments, to be joyful and grateful for all the wonderful things in the world around me.

At this time of year in Cornwall spring is in full flow - the birds singing vigorously, blossom appearing, the primroses shining out in the hedgerows along the country lanes. The vibrant green of new leaves just starting to appear on the trees.

And today, 2 April is my wedding anniversary, Dave and I have been married for thirty-seven years today. Our first thought is along the lines of "How did that happen??!" - and then the recognition and celebration that (so far) we have come through the bumps along the way in married life, tested out the 'in sickness and in health' part of our marriage vows, and are still here, still together. A joyful occasion for us.

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I wanted to write about the lovely experience last Thursday when I was honoured to be the guest speaker at the WOW Magical Meetings for Women group in Carnon Downs. Thank you so much for inviting me. My one hour slot consisted of a brief talk about 'how I got here' and then a mini workshop during which we all drew a Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card, and talked about them. Mine was 'Daring' - with the vibrant spring green background colour - and was perfect. The next activity was something that I had scarcely 'dared' to try  - asking for a volunteer to demonstrate a 'Short and Sweet' Rediscovery Session. It seemed to go OK, and one person wrote later: "... a privilege to listen to Mary ... and watch her listening in her daring demo!" (thank you Lynda).

Soon I will be sending you details in one of these missives, about the 'Rediscovery at Home' events - where you can host a workshop for at least four paying guests in your home, and receive a free place yourself. This will be in Cornwall at first until I am free to travel more widely as I used to do. If you are very keen to know more, please do email me, or just watch this space for more details in due course.

Wishing you a joyful week.

As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

*if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Dare to Blossom Newsletter April 2014

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter   Reflections: Becoming Sure This month, I am remembering a piece a while ago on 'not knowing'. So, what has changed? How have I moved from 'not knowing' to 'becoming sure'? Good question.... There has been a process, something that has been growing as I have been through this year of writing once a week about the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card I have drawn from my pack. That process of rediscovering my own inner wisdom, of coming home to myself, has been a journey. And along the way a sense of safety and trust has been emerging. A returning to the voice I heard as a small child "You are safe my child.". A 'becoming sure' that all is well; that whatever happens in the outside world, I can cope, I do get through somehow. Ultimately, the essence of my spirit goes on, whatever happens to my body. I am as unsure of the future as always - how can I not be? As I think John Lennon said, "Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans." While I do plan, as we all need to for some things, I am also more able to be with whatever is going on. To enjoy those moments that will never return. To stop and smell the roses; to notice the beautiful sky as I drive to work; to smile at fellow motorists or say a cheerful word to the person who serves me in a shop. 'Becoming sure' - feels to me as if I now know there are always people looking out for me or cheering me on; always someone I can call on, to be there physically; or to simply witness, lean in and hold the space for me. Thank you to everyone who is reading this - you are part of my 'support team'. Each one of you, whether we have met or spoken or not - is very dear to me and appreciated greatly. A deep bow to you. Namaste. For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections: - What are you becoming sure of? - Who are your support team? A beautiful exercise is to make up a 'Support Team Board' (a little like a Vision Board) - with photographs or representations of all the people around you. They may be friends family, professional people, inspirational writers, role models - anyone you can draw support from in any way. Looking for a photograph to illustrate this piece, I came across this, a Datura that flowers in our conservatory. Not an obvious choice. These flowers often take a long time in the bud, developing slowly from a tiny starting point into large long tubes before opening out quite suddenly into this dramatic but fragile bloom. Somehow that epitomises to me that long period of 'not knowing' and how I now feel - a little tentatively, feeling somewhat delicate - that I am 'becoming sure. News: Guest Article: Would you like to contribute a piece for a future monthly newsletter? I am inviting you to send in some words for the 'Reflections' slot. There is no fee at present, but we can negotiate an exchange for Rediscovery Coaching if your piece is published, as long as it has not previously been seen elsewhere. Just contact me by email if this appeals to you and we will discuss. Inspiring Links: You may have already seen this, the story of Diabolo the black panther - where the ability of one woman  to communicate with an animal changed the life of a mistreated animal, and his carers.Thank you to my sister Sue for sending this. Thank you - for being my companion, for your support and comments, for sharing your suggestions and thoughts.  . As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for sharing time with me here. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Patience

26 March 2014 This card evokes a number of different feelings for me. An echo of someone saying 'Patience, patience' - probably my mother or father. I expect I say it too. People have told me that I am 'very patient', though it is not a description I would use of myself though. I know how inwardly impatient I often can be, with myself and others. As time has gone on, I have learned more about mindfulness and being in the moment. Realising that my impatience can lead me to miss many wonderful treasures and experiences. If I am rushing somewhere worrying about the time, do I notice the wild flowers in the hedgerow? When I gulp down my food in a hurry to get on, do I taste the flavours and appreciate the goodness it contains? Sharing a conversation and keen to get my say in - do I truly hear the other person, not only the words they are saying but the unspoken nuances? It is interesting that the word 'patient' has two meanings: being patient, and being a patient, i.e. being treated for an illness or injury. The dictionary says it derives from 'one who suffers'; whereas the state of being patient is: "endurance under difficult circumstances, which can mean persevering in the face of delay or provocation without acting on annoyance/anger in a negative way; or exhibiting forbearance when under strain, especially when faced with longer-term difficulties" (Wikipedia). Reflecting on this, it feels to me that being patient in a positive, productive way, is to be able to simply 'be with' whatever is going on, without judgement. My experience of being a patient receiving treatment for cancer, has been a learning process to be able to do this in what may be difficult circumstances. I don't know if I was a very positive patient, or a very patient one. Over time this experience has had a great positive influence on my life - something that is likely to appear in my thoughts frequently this year, being as it is the twentieth anniversary of my diagnosis. --------------------------------------------- Returning after a break to write some more here, I hear the phrase 'all in good time'. Everything has it's right time. I may be keen, impatient even, for the spring to arrive, for the buds to break, the blossom to shine out. Even if I keep plants in a greenhouse to develop early, there is only a certain amount that can be done to speed this process. In good time, each plant will grow, the leaves will appear and the flowers will open. In terms of my own unfolding, of new ideas unfurling and developing - even though I may like to think I am 'in charge' of my own creative processes, I am beginning to appreciate that there is an ebb and flow here as well. Everything has a time in which it may be sitting dormant, or developing unseen, hidden away in my sub-conscious. Just as the daffodil bulbs swell beneath the soil, sending roots down for sustenance before the green shoots appear above the earth, so this may be happening for me too. This tree fern photo seems a good image to share again here. Taken in my garden last year, a little later in the spring than this, it not only illustrates the gentle and steady unfurling of nature, it also contains soft shades of green. On my screen the background colour of this card is a soft blue-green, in the printed card on my desk a darker forest green - all natural shades that I can feel calm and peaceful sitting with while all proceeds around me 'in good time'. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Laughter

19 March 2014 Lovely card to come up this week. A reminder of many wise sayings, "Laughter is the best medicine." It is well-proven that laughing is good for you. And I am reminded of  "Rule Number Six" - ("Don't take yourself so goddamn seriously." scroll down the page for the story) which I was introduced to by reading Ben Zander's book The Art of Possibility. I know when I am getting stressed when I do begin taking myself too seriously; when I have a 'sense of humour failure; when I can't see the funny side to events; and - especially - when I lose the ability to laugh at myself. When I can't laugh, I am unable to see the joy in my life. Have you ever been there when a young baby has just been laughing at something she sees? It is may be their parent playing peek-a-boo, or their brother pulling faces. There are many examples on line, and I only have to listen to start laughing myself. What else can I say about laughter? It is a part of sharing, of loving, of being human. It adds so much to life; it helps workplaces be a place of companionship as well as jobs; it is often cited as one of the ingredients in long and happy marriages. The colour of this card is a deep, yet soft, red. Feeling to me like a good belly laugh, a laugh that goes on and on. One that I can't stop, and even when I do stop and pause, gasping, for breath - one look at my companion will restart the 'falling about laughing' again. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Light

12 March 2014 This week it feels as if the light has returned here in Cornwall. After what seems like such a long winter of dark stormy skies, gales of wind, and torrential rain, the sun has come out. And in such a glorious way, several days of blue skies and cool winds (it is still early spring after all even if it looks like summer). Nature has responded: the sunshine yellow of daffodils brightens gardens and roadsides, the lacy white blackthorn shines in the hedgerows, and the slightest haze of green is now breaking out into leaves appearing on the smaller shrubs. Soon the bigger trees will follow and that heart-gladdening moment when the world is full of fresh green in a hundred different shades will be with us. If you are in the southern hemisphere, maybe you are enjoying those bright autumn days when colours are intense and nature celebrates the harvest of the year? Not having lived in the tropics for any length of time I don't know how variations in natural light occur there and the effects - I'd love to hear from you if you do have these experiences. I've been in quite a dark place myself, with physical pain dominating for a while and doubts surfacing about my work. Sunshine can help me feel more positive. At other times the contrast between the outer world and the inner is heightened. Surely I 'should' be happy on such a lovely day? I 'should' be content in my good fortune to have a job with a salary and a roof over my head..... (I feel like a siren should be going off here "Deedah, deedah - negative self-talk warning - deedah, deedah.") Can I shine a light on this? Can I change the 'should' to 'could'?  I 'could' be happy. There are reasons why I am feeling a different way. Can I put a precise name to this feeling, this particular emotion? Recently I've been reading about integrating my 'shadow' with my conscious self. We all have parts of us we are ashamed of and maybe afraid of too - the angry, jealous, shameful parts of us. The parts that feel we'll be 'found out' as a fraud, that people may see our thoughts and be disgusted or hate us. If I look at these parts differently maybe I can accept and integrate them and their power can be used in a positive way? In Jill Badonsky's book The Nine Modern Day Muses (and a Bodyguard) she says: "The dark sides of personalities are always present, just as light invariably casts a shadow. When the light is brightest,  the shadow is deepest. When mortals explore their hidden shadow side, there is a power, a liberating freedom, and a creative release." Part of this, for me, has been to learn how to express and release strong emotions such as grief or anger in a safe and constructive way. I can't say I have any easy answers, the way I deal with it is to be aware that I am developing new practices, new ways of being truly myself. (And the word 'practice' allows for the possibility that I am always learning, will never be 'perfect', that the joy is in the journey.) Allowing in the light, and adding in humour (as Jill does in her very particular style), are ways of letting the shadow be seen, and to be itself. To be an integral part of me. Allowing the anger to be used for good, to become a righteous power when needed. Transmuting the grief into an honouring and celebration of that which has gone - whether that is a beloved person, a pet, my youth, health, a past career, or a broken favourite coffee mug. Recognising that grief is as useful and valid an emotion to feel about events in my life as are joy or excitement. Without the dark of night I would not be able to see the stars or the waxing moon outside my window as I write. And when the light becomes too dazzling, I can welcome the shadow, turn towards it and look into it to rest my eyes and to see what gifts lie within that part of me. (that last sentence is an approximate remembering of  words I have read, apologies to the author for not referencing them as I cannot remember where). Thank you to Kathy Kane, who I am working with as my own coach at the moment for introducing me to Jill Badonsky's work. I have lots more to explore in the shadows and sunlight. ...................... A pause feels necessary here for a deep breath or two. ..................... The colour of the card is a sunshine yellow, the colour of the trumpets of some daffodils, and of the gorse that flowers in Cornwall nearly all the year round.  As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Choices

5 March 2014 Today I stopped to eat my lunchtime sandwich in my car at a favourite spot. Whilst I enjoyed my food I thought about this card - "Choices". So many angles I could write about... where to focus? (A choice!). The first choice I make every day when I wake is - how will I approach this new day? I often feel, rather sadly, that my 'default setting' is grumpy. I wake up still feeling tired, not particularly looking forward to the tasks ahead. I have been choosing to practice changing this. To start before I even get out of bed, to choose gratitude. The inspirational Richard Wilkins says (in his very particular style) that when he wakes he pushes his elbows out to each side, and if he doesn't touch wood he knows he is not in his coffin. He laughs as he says this and it is a black humour way of saying be grateful for the gift of each day. When I was young it took me a while to learn that I really do have a choice over how I respond to events. I can choose to be upset at a comment perhaps, or I can choose to let it pass over 'like water off a duck's back'. (I love that expression). All these thoughts went through my mind as I sat in my car. For once the weather was dry and quite sunny so I decided to take a short walk along the forestry track close by. I had an idea of taking a photo of a fork in the road to illustrate the idea of choices, of arriving at a crossroads in life. (One of the first workshops I ran, for Adult Education, was on just this 'Tools for the Crossroads in Life' I think I called it.) As you see, the path I was following was pretty straight with no turnings, just dropping away gradually into the valley below. This provided me with a one of those moments of clear vision, of insight: that now, at this time in 2014, I am clear on the direction I wish to take in my life, the work I wish to do. My path is to find my own way home to myself and to offer you tools, and a companion if you wish, to help you on your journey of rediscovery. My choices right now are about the speed at which I travel along my road. Do I race ahead at full speed? Do I dawdle along gently and admire the tiny plants by the way, look up at the sky and clouds through the trees?. Do I stop altogether at times and listen to the birdsong and the wind in the branches? I am finding it hard to describe the feeling - this was for me a moment of reconnection with my own heart, my coming home a little more to my truest self. As I stood absorbing these insights I noticed a little muddy, grassy path off to the right - pictured below. The thought then occurred to me that I could choose to explore any turnings such as this, take time to pull on my wellington boots and splash off through the mud and puddles and see what I could see - and then return when ready to my main wide and clear track forward with new inspiration; refreshed and revived from a change of scenery. And at any time I can hang a hammock between the trees and rest in the dappled sun and shade until I am ready to move on again. Even if clouds cover the sun and rain comes; even if  darkness falls, my now clearly chosen path will be under foot to guide me through. I can choose to shelter close to one of the tall sturdy tree trunks until the light returns. I end there, feeling there is no more within me to say in words at this moment. There is a special feeling of connection, reconnection that is supported by the music I have playing, 'Sacred Alchemy' by Devaa Haley. An event to share with you as it is happening before my next monthly newsletter: on 25th March Olivier Maxted is holding a 'Sound Bath Healing' evening at Anhydrous Memorial Hall. I experienced a taster of Olivier's work last weekend at a festival in Perranporth. The combination of didjeridoo, drum, rattles, crystal bowls, and a selection of other instruments is extraordinary. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.