Daring

13 June 2013 My first attempt at a name for my coaching business was Flying in the Face of Fear. This was the title of my book drawing together the stories of women like me who had been through the experience of cervical cancer.. Although a great description of that time, I felt that for the forward-looking process of life coaching I wanted something different. When I eventually decided on Dare to Blossom Life Coaching as the name, I found people continually challenging me: "Well, have you?" they would ask when I handed them my business card - "Have you dared to blossom?"  Quite a challenge. Over time I began to think of this more as a process than a one-off, as daring to blossom. (And I used that title for a series of workshops that may well be repeated in the future). Daring feels softer, kinder, allowing me to take baby steps. The original inspiration for the name was a card that is still on my cork board beside my desk. It bears a quote from Anais Nin that reads: "...and then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom." Somehow, that transmuted in my mind to "dare to blossom", and has been an inspiration ever since. Daring now, today, feels to me a description, a challenge, maybe an affirmation - of my path over the last few years. I often do not feel daring: just the opposite. I feel like hiding away, not writing any more, not exposing my thoughts to the world. Last week I had a moment in my working day when I suddenly had a crisis of confidence. Standing in front of a group of people, I felt tired of the sound of my own voice; worried that I wasn't making sense; afraid of.... I don't know what. And I wanted to run away and hide. I didn't, just noticed the wobble. And I'll be back, today, tomorrow, and the day after - in front of other groups, and the same people when Friday comes around again. Daring to pick myself up and carry on. And here I am with you too. I am peeking out, almost peering between my fingers like a small child playing peek-a-boo. Wondering if you are still there, or if you have gone away and left me alone. It may be a topic for another time, but writing this has reminded of the feeling I used to have, and that still returns sometimes, a feeling of being invisible, of not existing, of worrying that people forgot all about me when I was out of sight. So dealing with that feeling during my life has been a case of daring to show up anyway; daring to explore who 'Mary' is; gradually finding out that I do exist as a separate person, as a unique individual. And having discovered and begun to value my own special qualities, then, at last to rediscover that I am part of a greater whole. Not as an invisible and insignificant particle; rather as a unique and shining individual star in a universe of interconnected bright, bright stars consisting of each of us, all of us dancing to the music of the heavens, supporting and celebrating as the worlds turn. ............................... That was a true piece of flow-writing, words that just jumped out onto the page, apparently of their own volition. Words that may, or may not, have any meaning for you as you read them. For you to take or leave as you wish. All prompted by this small card with six letters upon it in an order that spells Daring. The soft green background, as with all the colours in the pack, just 'chose itself' - I did not consciously choose which colours went with each word. Today, looking at the card on the desk beside me, I love the contrast: a word that can seem quite challenging, coupled with a soft, natural, spring-fresh green. A calm colour, to me it is saying "take your time, take those small steps, dare a little each day," Until next time, thank you all for being the shining stars in my world, Mary

6 June 2013 Clarity - just what I need this week. However, I have found it very hard to write this piece to share with you. Maybe because I had gone into 'writing' mode, rather than feeling and exploring and flow-writing? I have been doing some thinking during the week about becoming more clear on what it is I offer people through my coaching services - and that will be emerging in due course and shared in a future monthly newsletter. So that was a start. The last few days here in Cornwall have been wonderful - perfect June days, with bright sunshine, a cool breeze and nature blossoming all around. As I have been going through my working days I have been noticing the wonderful clear air. The sort of air that sparkles almost as if you can see it; the air that makes everything look bright and new. The trees in fresh greens of early summer, such a variety of different shades. The flowers in the Cornish hedgerows: bluebells, red campion, buttercups. Everything zinging with life and energy. Nature doesn't feel a struggle for clarity: nature knows why the plants are flowering and the trees are in leaf. If I can discover why I am here, will I gain that clarity? I have read somewhere that I am here simply to experience joy. To be joyful in each moment and to help others experience joy also. That sounds clear and simple (though not necessarily easy). All the "stuff" that gets in my way is clutter and fogginess. Clutter stops me thinking clearly and fogginess obscures my vision. A song runs through my head: "I can see clearly now the rain has gone, I can see all obstacles in my way. Gone are the dark clouds that had me down, it's gonna be a bright, bright, sunshiny day." (Jimmy Cliff) That reminds me of a saying along the lines of "The obstacles in your path, are your path." There is an article on the subject here from the Zen Habits blog - interesting that the first example is about writing! So - those were my thoughts, once they eventually started flowing. I think I will keep "Clarity", with it's warm orange background, close to me to guide me along my way forward. Thank you once again for sharing my voyage of rediscovery. I'll look forward to seeing your comments below if you would like to offer them, and to hearing about your own journeys using the Rediscovery Cards. Until next week, Mary

I love this card, such a short word - meaning that the letters can be printed very large And the zinging, vibrant pink is full of life and joy. It feels like a bouncy, happy card. Going through the week with this as my card has made me think about how often I don't let myself have fun. I can see one part of me, almost as a separate person, standing there, one hand on her hip, the other wagging a finger at me, her lips pursed, saying "Tut, tut, you shouldn't be having fun. Life is a serious business, don't you know." Another part wants to giggle and skip and say "Why not?" The saying "Angels fly because they take themselves lightly."* comes to mind. As does a story from the USA about "Rule Number Six".(If you don't know this story, have a lookhere). Basically, a reminder to keep a sense of humour at all times and see the ridiculous in ourselves. So, when my severe self pops up, perhaps I can persuade her to relax and have some fun. And what do I count as fun? Things that make me laugh. Sometimes things that make me cry, such as a moving story in a book or a sad film.Things that have no 'reason' to them. Doodling, playing with paint and creative bits and pieces (not to make anything particular). Watching clouds and playing the 'shapes' game. (I saw a perfect pony's head the other day with a sweet nose and his ears forward.) Lying on the grass on a warm night looking at the magical sky and hoping to see a shooting star. Writing this has also reminded me that I can decide almost anything is fun if I want to. Sitting somewhere waiting (doctor, dentist, train station, airport) - there are many things I can turn into fun. I may not always be in the mood to do that - my choice, but I can if I wish. I have also noticed how the 'Fun' card adds an extra dimension to my list of cards: Honesty, Wisdom, Angels and Learning. Child-like fun is a joy. The fun that has no ill-intent, that is joyous and inclusive, life enhancing and health-giving. Why not be unreasonably happy, happy with no reason? Yes, I will choose to be unreasonably happy as a practice to add to remembering to breathe deeply, and not taking myself too seriously. (*until I looked it up, I had no idea that saying is attributed to the writer G K Chesterton) Tomorrow is the end of my first month of sharing my experience of the Rediscovery Cards with you, and I will be reflecting on that in the June newsletter that most of you also receive.  There is still a chance (up to 5.00 pm 31 May) for you to be in the draw to win either a set of cards or a phone/Skype Rediscovery Session (plus the cards) - just send me a comment below or by email to enter.  Thank you to everyone who has contacted me so far, please continue to share your thoughts, I do appreciate knowing there is someone out there! Until next week, may all be well in your world, Mary

23 May 2013 Well, how interesting! When I set myself a challenge to write about each of the cards, to share with you honestly and openly, to include as much of my flow writing as I could - when I set myself this challenge, I thought I might come up against a block at some stage. I didn't expect that to happen on only week four out of fifty! By the time you read this I hope I will have recovered my equilibrium, been able to step back and observe my reactions, and use my first three cards of Honesty, Wisdom, and Angels to take me through this bump in the road. Beginning to reflect on 'Learning', I wrote some words then had a wobble wondering how you would receive it, if you would think badly of me, if ..., if...., etc. Having grappled with the internal critics and censors, the writing below is pretty well intact. Then the arrival of the 'Thoughts from the Universe' piece in my in-box today made me smile: "Behind your greatest fear, Mary, lies your greatest gift. And your greatest gift, Mary, will be the example you become." I hope my example, in spite of (or maybe because of) my struggles, will prove to be a gift in some way to you. This is one of those words that can bring the 'oh no' reaction. Oh no, surely I've learnt enough, not more 'lessons' in life? During this time of my own coming home to myself, of rediscovering my own wisdom, I have begun to see the idea of 'learning' in a different light. When I first began on my path of personal growth many years ago, I'd hear people talking about the lessons to be learnt from the horrible things that happened, in my case one of those was having cancer. I could find myself in a spiral of wondering why my lessons were so hard, if maybe they were a punishment of some sort, even if I had brought them on myself - 'all my fault'. I could feel in a trap of circular thinking: if I can choose my thoughts and my feelings and change my life, why did life sometimes seem so bad? Gradually I have been able to escape from this trap (though it is easy for me to slip back into it too). My personal view of the events of my life have changed - through my own experiences, through talking with friends, reading many books - I have, yes, 'learned', that I can choose to take another view. I can connect with my eternal self, my higher consciousness, my soul (any term you like to use). I can observe the physical body and the human mind attached. Begin to see how my reactions and my experiences are interwoven, how I forget that the light within is undiminished whatever happens to my body. That my light is a spark making up part of the whole. ......... This was my first piece of flow-writing on drawing this card, and I am interested in just how it flowed. My internal critic is now jumping in and suggesting that maybe I should not share it with you. Maybe you don't share my views, maybe you will be offended, maybe you won't  like what I have written. And now the critic is even laying into that - maybe readers will now feel I am being patronising or condescending? But stop! You know that you can accept or reject my views, that they don't need to have any affect on you, unless you choose. ....Isn't it interesting, what a tangled web I have woven trying to be what I think people want me to be rather than just being me. So I choose to step back again and observe the chorus of internal critics piping away over there. I choose to be kind to myself.  "Learning" - I am always learning, or discovering, new things and facts. And I am rediscovering myself afresh. I can share with you in my own way, my own voice. Each writer, however unknown or however famous, has something to say that will reach particular people in a special way that will deliver a message to them. Having navigated all that convoluted thinking - finally in my musings this week: the colour of the background of this card. The soft purple is peaceful, and also powerful. A colour associated with spirituality, healing and creativity. A colour I have always loved, especially in nature in flowers such as the "glory bush" flower below, or in velvety irises and petunias.   Thank you for sharing my ups and downs this week, any comments or thoughts you would like to leave below would be very helpful for me.. Onward with our shared rediscovery! Mary

16 May 2013 I smiled when I drew this card, as I had been thinking about it just the day before. When I designed the cards in December 2011, it was with the intention of using them at the Daring to Blossom workshops during 2012. They worked really well, with the special twist that people could take their card away with them if they wished as I could easily replace them. After a while, people started asking me if they could buy a pack for themselves. I began thinking how I could describe them, how the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards were different to all the other beautiful packs out there (and I use various different ones regularly for myself). One thing is that they do not have any associated belief system, such as with tarot cards, goddess cards, medicine cards - or angel cards. Then of course I realised that among the 50 words that I had chosen was this one 'Angels'. I reflected on what the word 'angels' means to me. I have known many people in my life who I could describe that way. People who go out of their way to help others, with no expectation of recognition or reward. I have also had experiences of near escapes or warnings that have felt to me as if some unseen presence was watching over me - perhaps my 'guardian angel', or my own intuition coming in to help. Whatever your beliefs are I hope that you will find this card useful to reflect on too. And if not (as with any card that you may draw), you can choose not to 'connect' with this word at all. Sometimes however, I find when I have a negative reaction to a word on a card - "Oh no, I don't want that one!" - it is when it is actually most useful for me to reflect on that quality. So, for this card, the background colour is the same blue as the 'Wisdom' card from last week.  a celestial sky blue, the sort of blue you might see on a slightly hazy summer's day, or at sunset. Today, it reminds me of my mother, she had wonderful blue eyes, eyes that twinkled with delight and fun. She was interested in everyone and everything, ready with a suggestion to help. She would tell a story of meeting a woman one day who seemed upset, and listening to her worries about her son who was about to start secondary school but was plagued by bullies who would be at the same school. My mother simply suggested that maybe she could ask for him to go to a different school (this was in the days before 'parental choice' became usual). Many years later she was approached in the street by the same woman who began "You won't remember me...." and said that her son had just graduated and started a good job. She told my mother  her suggestion had changed her son's life and she had been hoping to express her gratitude for years: "You were our angel in disguise." Reflecting on this card during the week, I have looked out for my own angels in disguise (and there are many of them) and remembering to thank them. I have also been more aware of when I could respond more kindly to others, pausing for a moment to think if I can offer anything. Sometimes it is not appropriate, or welcome, to talk to people, but often just a simple smile can make all the difference in someone's day. We may not know the effects of our actions, but we can do, and be, the best we can in any moment however imperfect that may feel.. In this third week of sharing with you, I am finding that the previous two cards are staying with me as well. During my busy days I pause sometimes to think how I can apply 'Honesty' or how my inner 'Wisdom' would respond in any situation. So this week I will have 'Angels' with me too. Each of you, dear readers, play that role in my life - by being interested enough to stay subscribed to my newsletters, by reading them when you have time, and by occasionally replying - you are a valued part of my 'support team'. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. A thought that made me smile - as the weeks go on, it may become a bit like one of those memory test games if I try and remember the whole list of cards and the order they were drawn. I'm not sure for how long I will be able to recite the list, I do know that the effects of having paused and thought about these qualities is proving a powerful method of rediscovery for me. So, until next week, goodbye for now - and don't forget that anyone who sends me a comment (by email or by writing below) about these weekly musings will be entered in the draw on 1 June to win one prize of a pack of cards and a Rediscovery Session on the phone or Skype, or two additional prizes of packs of cards.  with all best wishes, Mary

What I live for?

Today (10 May) I'm taking part in 'What I Live For', an online event organised by author Satya Robyn. People like me all over the world will be sharing what gives their lives meaning. In Satya Robyn's novel 'Thaw', Ruth gives herself three months to decide whether she can find a reason to carry on living. There's 75% off the kindle version today (99p / $1.49) - read more here:

The Morning Glory plant produces new flowers each day: every day the new buds open and share their inner glory with the world.

What an inspiring metaphor for starting each day afresh, living in the moment and daring to blossom!

All the work I do is about personal growth and spiritual awareness: each of us, everyone, is already perfect. We can grow as we become aware that each of us has that seed within, like the Morning Glory. A seed has everything within it to develop into the full glory of the plant, just needing the right conditions and nurturing.

'Growth' does not mean that you need to be more  than you are, or do more or have more. Growth is becoming the fullest and most glorious expression of who we are, living in our full glory. 'Awareness' helps us to see and to live in this knowledge, day by day.

This is a special time of year for me as on 12 May I was called into my doctor's surgery to be told I had been diagnosed with cervical cancer. That was nineteen years ago and was the start of a journey of personal growth for me, and the anniversary is now a time of celebration. Every year I renew my commitment to living each day to the full.

9 May 2013 In my second week of drawing cards to share with you I began by reflecting on the process. It will be different in that I am removing the card from my pack when it is drawn  to ensure that I will cover all 50 over the next year. This means that I will not be demonstrating that interesting and sometimes frustrating phenomenon of drawing the same card more than once. If you experience this with your own cards, as I often have, reflect on the gift of that quality staying with you. It is early days yet, but I am also finding that I am focusing so much on this that each card is staying with me more than perhaps if I had not been sharing it. This has shown me how much value there is in giving something full attention, a lesson important to me when I feel sometimes surrounded by so much - so much knowledge, information, resources, books - all wonderful things. So much that maybe I forget to pause and access my own wisdom. That wisdom that I have inherited, that I learnt from my parents, from people as I was growing up, teachers of all kinds. That wisdom that has been distilled and integrated through my own experiences to be something unique to me. You have your wisdom too. The colour of the background, a cool aqua/green shade, feels calming and soothing to me, cooling the nerves and any over reaction, having the wisdom not to be 'hot-headed' perhaps. 'Wisdom' also reminds me of the Serenity Prayer by Rienhold Niebuhr God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, The courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference. You may find that the photos of the cards are sometimes 'skew-whiff' (I love that expression!) - this is because I took all 50 of the photos outside on a lovey calm sunny day in order to show the colour as true as possible for you, and as you will imagine, it took quite a while. I felt it was more authentic to show them to you just as they are, as you might have shuffled and drawn one out and put it down. This is only my second week of sharing these reflections with you, I am already finding that it is deepening my reflections and giving the experience more meaning - so thank you to everyone reading for sharing this with me. I have found the two qualities of honesty and wisdom helping me pause and think during my busy days. Finally, there will be another post on the blog this week in addition to this as I am taking part in 'What I Live For', an online event organised by author Satya Robyn on 10 May (tomorrow, and with a special offer on her book). It is a significant time for me as 12 May is the anniversary of my diagnosis with cervical cancer - 19 years ago this year - a time to celebrate life for me. So - thank you for reading, please do comment below and share your thoughts - it will help me feel less lonely putting these thoughts out into the world like tender green shoots. It would be good to know there is a warm friendly environment out there rather than frosts and biting cold winds. Until next week, Mary