Thursday, 31 March 2016

April 2016 - Daring

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
Reflections: Daring

Choosing the title of 'Daring' for these reflections, has grown out of a piece I wrote on 26th March in one of my daily Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card posts on my business Facebook page.

That was prompted by two cards: 'Beginnings' and 'Self-love'. Here is that piece for those of you who may not have seen it:

"Beginnings, with the deep green, is of course perfect for the spring here in the northern hemisphere, and for Easter with the themes of death and rebirth. Re-emergence after the winter, new buds, green shoots.

Self-love, soft purple colour. Today, this relates closely for me to reflections prompted by the book I have just finished reading: 'Daring Greatly' by Brene Brown. Like many of you, I have watched some of her TED talks, but this is the first book of hers I have read.

The sub-title is "How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent and lead." In the book Brene describes her research and shares interview stories, with her own experiences included. I found myself nodding and recognising so much of what she writes about. The way many of us are subjected (and subject ourselves) to shame when all we need to recognise is guilt. She defines the difference as shame being 'I am bad.'; guilt being 'I did something bad.' (substitute any word - wrong, stupid, etc.....) The first is about you as a person, the second about one particular action, which may have been a mistake but can be learned from.

Admitting and sharing vulnerability is a way to connect with others and heal the wounds these things cause, and learn how to give and receive feedback in ways that avoid the damage occurring in the future.

This time of new beginnings, since I returned to running Dare to Blossom as a full time business, has for me brought back many of the feelings of vulnerability and memories of past experiences that rocked my confidence severely.

One of these happened over six years ago now, and whether the people who took the actions they did intended it or not, I felt I was 'not good enough'. The emotions that this experience raises for me even now, tell me how much this impacted on me.
On page 188, Brene writes about this in the world of work: "Shame breeds fear. It crushes our tolerance for vulnerability, thereby killing engagement, innovation, creativity, productivity, and trust. And worst of all, if we don't know what we are looking for, shame can ravage our organisations before we see one outward sign of a problem."

Someone said to me, over a year after that initial crushing experience, 'Where did Mary go?" I have learned over the years since, and reading this book as brought clearly into focus, that Mary was hiding, afraid to come out and be her true self.

'The courage to be vulnerable' as Brene puts it is often not comfortable, and she talks of making discomfort normal, of showing people that growth sometimes stretches us so much it is painful, and that is OK. If parents, employers, teachers can model being vulnerable themselves and support others in doing the same, then everyone benefits.

As you know, I don't usually write such a long piece, [referring to my Facebook posts] and it feels a little scary to share here, a little vulnerable. By doing so I hope it may help some of you to reflect, as reading this book has done for me. Brene Brown has written two books before this one, both of which I hope to read ('The Gifts of Imperfection', and 'I thought it was just me (but it isn't)'), and one later work 'Rising Strong' - which was the one that first attracted me. Here is her website, where you can also find links to her TED talks and other videos.

Returning to my two words - Self-love feels like a necessary preparation and companion for new beginnings."

Since I wrote that, I have been reflecting some more. Everything I have been doing over recent months seems to have been challenging me to own my vulnerability and have the courage to go forward anyway. Recently I 'dared' to try something new, which so far has not had the results I had hoped (more about this below under 'Events'). Debating with myself what to do about this, reading Brene's words and hearing her speak, has reminded me that if I have to refocus, rearrange or cancel something new I am trying out, it is not because 'I'm no good at this.' It is for all sorts of reasons, some of which I maybe could have influenced by doing things differently, and some I could not.

Later I decided to do some painting to free up my thinking, and to simply play. I had fun with some coloured pens and made a border with the wax medium.

A challenge to myself, as the name of my business has always been. The answer is yes - and also that sometimes I ask for support. Sometimes I withdraw for some reflection and self-care. Sometimes I dare to shine like this tulip is shining - using the fleeting highlight of a ray of sunshine to glow even more gloriously. (Apologies for the photo quality - I had to take it through the window on the iPad, and very quickly - not to mention being 'helped' by Edie, one of our little cats.)

Here are my three words together: as often happens when people are working with them in coaching sessions, the combination of the words and the colours brings an expanded message for me.

For you: in your reflections in your journal or meditations:

- Do these words, either individually or together, prompt any thoughts for you?
- Note your first responses and then ask yourself: 'What else is there?'
- Explore the words using this question as long as you wish.


The most effective way to tell you about the continuing series of 'Magic Carpet Ride' Workshops is to share the words of Ruth, who attended one of the 'Rediscover your Spark and Focus' events earlier this year:

"Dear Mary
What a wonderful 3 hours spent with you and the others on the Magic Carpet Ride: Rediscovering Your Spark and Focus. I didn't know what to expect and I certainly didn't expect the transformation I felt during my time with you all!. I would never have imagined that I could feel so different, so focused in such a short time and I can definitely say that as a result I have 'Rediscovered my Spark and Focus'. After a hard 18 months or so I can now say that I am ready to move on and the ideas that keep springing into my mind since the Magic Carpet Ride are phenomenal. Thank you so much and I would highly recommend that anyone who has lost their direction in any aspect on their life's journey join you at one of your workshops."

Hayle: Magic Carpet Ride Workshops - there are three more events planned here this year, and maybe another will be added in November, currently the dates are Saturday 16th April (more details below), Saturday 25 June, and Saturday 24 September, all gathering at 9.30 am for a 10.00 am start and running through to 1.00 pm. Each event, while based around the magic carpet ride guided visualisation process, has a different theme and people are finding that they wish to return to subsequent workshops after attending one. Thank you to those of you doing that, it is affirming and supportive for me. The theme for the next one emerges over time - and I will soon explore what may be coming up later in the year and give you some more information.

A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace - Hayle 16th April

This event is nearly fully booked, so please if possible contact me direct to book rather than via the PayPal link. If you are inspired to be there I am sure there will be a place for you. Click on the picture to visit the website for more details. The price given on the website after the Early Bird Price ended on 31 March is £28 per person, as a regular newsletter reader I can offer you a place at £25. Again, contact me direct to book. Also, if you attend one workshop, every one you come along to this year will be £20 for you as a thank you.


Glastonbury: A Magic Carpet Ride: Moving forward with Ease and Grace - full day workshop 21 May

On Saturday 21 May we will be sharing a full day magic carpet riding at the beautiful Miracles Room in Glastonbury. When I ran the workshop there last year it was a half day during the week. The feedback I received was that people would prefer a full day, and for it to be on a Saturday. So that is what we are doing this time, gathering at 9.30 am for 10.00 am start, and ending at 4.00 pm. This will allow a more in-depth exploration of the themes and the insights arising, plus time to share conversation over a leisurely lunch at the cafe in the Courtyard. If you are staying close to Glastonbury, or do not have too far to travel home, you may also wish to spend some time in the town visiting one of the many special places there. Click on the photo for full details.

The cost per person is £60, with a special price for newsletter subscribers so please email via this link to ask questions and to book. There is the option to pay a deposit of £20, and also some places at concessionary rates.

Wadebridge: Dare to Blossom in Business "Refresh and Refocus your Business" - full day workshop Friday 22 April

This new programme begins on Friday 22 April 10-4, at the Paddock Room, Hawksfield, near Wadebridge. This is the part mentioned in my reflections piece, that I have had to review. Yesterday I took the step of asking for support, asking for help  and feedback. Thank you so much to the people who responded so positively, your help led smoothly to the decision to restructure the pricing.

You now have a choice: you can book the workshop alone for £55 per person. If you would like one or more follow-up coaching sessions on Skype or phone, then you can book up to three at £40 each for the full 60 minutes. Full details are to be found 

If you have any questions please just contact me by replying to this email. Everyone has the opportunity to book a complementary 20 minute consultation to find out if Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Coaching will suit your requirements from coaching support.

If you feel you cannot spare time for a whole day away from your business or prefer to work one-to-one, contact me so we can discuss a tailored programme for you. I can also provide in-house workshops and coaching programmes to refresh and inspire you and your team together.

Dare to Blossom at Home events

These are held in your own home and tailored to you and your guests. I am delighted to be working with two people at present who have booked dates. One person has asked me to help promote for her (you can choose if you would like me to do this, or to simply invite your own circle of friends and family) - this one is on Saturday 14 May, in a very special spot on Bodmin Moor. Contact me if you are interested in this and I will send you more details once they are finalised. In the meantime click on the photo for general information.

As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,

Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter