Welcome to the Dare to Blossom newsletter
In this issue:
Reflections: Authentic Voices
Book review: Time to Think Nancy Kline
Inspiring conference: Euro Coach List Conference 2011
Small Stones: Fiona Robyn's courses
Reflections: Authentic Voices
The title of this month's reflections was inspired by the theme of this year's Euro Coach List Conference (see more below on this event).
Following on from last month, and having just finished reading Time to Think, when I began writing this it was a continuation on the theme of listening. I know I will be writing more on that theme, but as I went on it seemed more and more like a chore, something I was forcing myself to do, feeling stilted and tired.
I have learnt from experience that the best writing - the writing that connects with people's hearts, the writing that rings with an authentic voice - that writing is not forced, not a chore. Rather, it is a joy, an experience of creating in the flow of life.
My authenticity, my truth, at the time I started trying to write was - that I was feeling stilted and tired. What I needed to do was to listen to my own internal voice telling me to rest, to allow myself to be and feel tired without continuously pushing myself on, doing more and more. Until I myself find my authentic voice, truly hear and respect it myself - how will I ever be able to articulate the things I want to say as a writer in that authentic way so others can hear and respect - and enjoy the messages?
So this month my reflections are that, for me, I do not have much to write and share right now. And that is absolutely OK.
For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:
- What is your authentic voice telling you right now?
- What can you do for yourself to allow that voice to be heard, firstly by yourself, and then by others?
Book Review: Tine to Think by Nancy Kline
This review was written by Jacky Pratt, who recommended the book during my coaching sessions recently, and who has kindly given me permission to reprint it here.
Time to Think : Listening to ignite the human mind
Nancy Kline, 1999, Cassell Illustrated, ISBN 0706377451Time to Think is a book that changes behaviour. It has a simple, but powerful message, which is that the quality of our thinking depends upon the quality of another person’s attention when listening to us. Why is this important? Because thinking precedes action, so clearer thinking leads to improved action.
Until challenged, most of us believe we are good, or at least adequate, listeners. Time to Think provides this challenge. It helps us to understand that listening expertly takes skill and practice… and that the results can be amazing.
How often do you think you know what someone else is about to say? Do you ever finish someone’s sentence for them? Maybe you think you know the answer to their problem, so perhaps you are only half-listening, whilst formulating what you will say when it is next your turn to speak? This book helps us understand the value of letting people talk, uninterrupted, instead of finishing their sentence for them and offering advice. This literally provides them with ‘time to think’, to listen to themselves, to reach insights which otherwise stay buried.
Nancy Kline expands this concept into something she spent 15 years developing, something she calls the Thinking Environment™. This consists of ten essential behaviours for when people are together, which encourage people to really think for themselves. This enriches relationships, provides better ideas, and within an organisation, it increases motivation and commitment.
The book explores the ten components in detail and explains why thinking alone is less productive than thinking with an attentive ‘human thinking partner’. When we think alone, we make assumptions which go unchallenged, acting as barriers to new thinking. When an attentive listener notices these limiting assumptions, they can challenge them, using ‘incisive questions’. These questions enable the thinker to bypass their assumptions, to think of things previously inconceivable.
Having defined the elements of a Thinking Environment, Nancy Kline continues in Part 2 to explore how to create this environment within an organisation. She describes the six steps in a Thinking Session, with wonderful examples that bring the process to life. She discusses how meetings can be improved, providing better ideas in less time, and how potential conflicts can be resolved by supplying a structure of respect.
She provides a compelling explanation for the value of executive coaching. Nancy Kline suggests that there are two essential skills required for a coach to bring out brilliance in a client. One is to provide ‘stunning attention’, and the other is to become expert at asking incisive questions. This is the book for any coach seeking to understand the value of non-directive coaching and the simple, yet often misunderstood premise: that a coach does not need to have the answers.
Part 3 is wider-ranging and inspirational. It describes her vision of the whole world as a Thinking Environment. She applies her reasoning to areas as diverse as health, relationships, schooling, families and politics and she demonstrates the reality of a quote by Shirley Edwards of Xerox: “A Thinking Environment is not just a theory and a set of skills. It is a way of being in the world.”
This book will revolutionise your listening and thinking skills, leading to greatly improved communication in all areas of your work and life.
Copyright © 2005, 2008 Jacky Pratt http://www.ambitioncoach.com/
Thank you Jacky, both for the recommendation and the review. I have also bought the follow-up book More Time to Think, and it will be interesting to read how the ideas have been applied and developed since the title above was first published in 1999 .
Inspiring conference: Euro Coach List Conference 2011
The Euro Coach List is an online group for anyone involved in coaching of any kind, and has been a valuable source of support to me (and to many others I know). We share experiences, knowledge, learning, ideas, inspiration. The conference is organised by a team of volunteers conitnuing that community spirit. You do not have to be a member to attend, though there is a discount if you are, and you can find out more here: www.eclconference.com
I attended the first conference, and left inspired and encouraged, but have not been able to get there since so I am delighted to be able to be involved this year. Doubly so as my application to run a workshop has been accepted. If you are going it will be wonderful to see you there. It is on 5-6 November, at Eastwood Park in Gloucestershire, UK.
Small Stones: Fiona Robyn's courses
I have written about Fiona's courses before and I have just signed up for another. Since April I have been enjoying the practice of writing "small stones" - small snippets of observational poetry, which can be left unpolished or edited and polished as much as you like.. More on the Writing Our Way Home community (which is free to join) and Fiona and her husband Kaspa's courses can be found here: www.writingourwayhome.com
Here are two "small stones" from my collection:
Morning mist bestows magical remnants
Even at mid day diamonds are dancing on iris leaves
and the web of a spider with captured mist glints like a silken net.
Early morning beach
millions, multitudes of
small stones.
Some polished, some pitted,
some rolling in the surf.
Glistening multi-coloured
with stories to be told.
Have you written any small stones?
