November 2019
Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
This is coming to you a week early this month, and will be the last newsletter until some way into December. I return from my travels on the 6th, so I suspect it may take me a little time to settle back in and write to you here.
Who knows, maybe a missive will come your way before then. In the meantime, I hope you enjoy the thoughts shared here.
Time Sensitive: still time to book your 'ticket' to journey with me in spirit
Reflections: The Powerful Voice of the Quiet Ones
Events and ways to Dare to Blossom
Time Sensitive: still time to book your 'ticket' to journey with me in spirit
In case you have yet to see this, I am offering you an opportunity to metaphorically stow away in my suitcase as I travel to New Zealand. Or, at least, a card with your name on will travel with me, to represent you in spirit as I journey around the world. Bookings close on 3 November, then I will take some special time to write your card and place it with all the others who are journeying with me, in a safe pouch in my bag. I will also draw four Rediscovery Cards for you, one for each point of the Compass, and put them in an envelope with your name and address upon it, ready to add your well-travelled card on my return and send them to you through the 'real' mail.
Click on the photo for more details and to book your ticket. For those of you who are happy on Facebook, I will be opening a private group there for everyone who is travelling in spirit with me.
Reflections: The Powerful Voice of the Quiet Ones
The catalyst for my visit to New Zealand, as well as a wonderful opportunity for a long-overdue visit to my family, was an invitation to speak at the HerStory Circle Conference in Wellington. The title of my talk is the theme of these reflections, the powerful voice of the quiet ones.
Reflecting,as I wrote the chapter that each speaker has been invited to submit for the anthology of stories for the conference, was an interesting experience. You will be able to read the full piece after the book is published. It was at first a big challenge to write 5,000 - 10,000 words. Most of the books to which I have been a contributing author, such as the 365 series, have presented the opposite challenge, of sharing an inspiring story in 300 words. (The very last in this series, "365 Soulful Messages" will be published in November. I have also contributed to "365 Moments of Grace", and "365 Life Shifts".)
Do you count yourself as a 'quiet one'? Or are you the life and soul of the party? Or, maybe both, at different times? I am sure when we are small babies we are all well able to make our voices heard, to make a noise when we are uncomfortable in some way. As a child I was told it was 'good' to be quiet.
Some years ago I began to learn about introversion and extroversion. All of us would be somewhere on the scale, and I don't believe it is fixed. However, the simple distinction I read about helped me understand myself more. Introverts tend to recharge their batteries by being alone: out in nature, reading, painting, writing, meditating. Extroverts tend to gain their energy by being with people, the centre of a crowd, maybe at a party, dancing, playing team sports, sharing all sorts of activities. These distinctions are simplified: we all probably enjoy being alone at times, and at other times in a lively place with lots of friends.
So, for me, it means for example that when I go to a big event, such as a conference, I need to have a place to retreat to, ideally the room where I am staying is close by. And places where I can sit with one or two people and enjoy in-depth conversations. Failing that, you may see me retreat into my own thoughts even in a crowd, as illustrated by this photo taken without my knowledge at a conference a few years ago.
So, how do you regain your powerful voice as a 'quiet one'? I can only reflect on my own experience, my journey, and hope you will find some resonance with your own experience. It took me a while to come to understand that being powerful did not mean 'loud'. Certainly not for me, nor I suspect, for many others. I learned through being a trainer and giving talks to quite large and lively groups, that standing silently can be a more powerful way of bringing attention to the fact that you are ready to speak than shouting. Sometimes I would raise my arm, as we used to do in school when I was small, others soon notice and do the same - the quietness spreads.
Being heard is not about having a loud voice, although in some circumstances it is about learning to project your voice, and to speak slowly and clearly, something I learned through training and experience. In other situations there can be all sorts of emotional barriers to being heard. And to speaking clearly, to stepping away from emotion for a moment at least.
Writing helped me: writing for myself initially. I began doing that on the day I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 1994. I bought a journal and began writing. I recorded everything: what the doctors said, questions I had, feelings, experiences, frustrations. My journal became a friend and a safe haven. Somewhere I could place all the things I couldn't, or didn't want to, share with my family and friends. Later I discovered how common it is for the person with the illness, especially something like cancer, to feel they need to be strong, to protect family and friends by not sharing their true feelings. Later my journal was the starting point for my compilation of women's stories, published in 1998 as 'Flying in the Face of Fear'.
Moving on through the years, when I chose to return to running Dare to Blossom Life Coaching full time in 2015, after 12 years of enjoying employed roles as a business coach and trainer, I found the concept of 'power' arising frequently.
Many of us are afraid of the very idea of power. We may associate it with the old paradigm of power over people, control by fear, keeping people down so you can rise to the top. No wonder we reject that idea. The power I have been exploring for myself and in so many coaching conversations since, is collaborative, sharing, 'together we rise'. A more gentle, even quiet, feminine power. Many people I know, men and women, yearn for more balance, for more of the feminine alongside the masculine. A power with others.
From those reflections and conversations, grew the programmes I have been running since then, and which are changing and evolving each year. The 2020 version is called "The Power of Your Compass Rose". This has also emerged as the title of the book that will now be completed after my trip to New Zealand. I know in my heart now that this journey is for me a necessary part of that writing, a reason for the book not being ready to be finished earlier. A journey of reunions with my family, and with the land of that magical country, and then a journey home with those new experiences, a journey home to myself - this will add the completion to the book I had been searching for without knowing what it was before.
For you, suggestions for your journal reflections or meditations:
Reflecting,as I wrote the chapter that each speaker has been invited to submit for the anthology of stories for the conference, was an interesting experience. You will be able to read the full piece after the book is published. It was at first a big challenge to write 5,000 - 10,000 words. Most of the books to which I have been a contributing author, such as the 365 series, have presented the opposite challenge, of sharing an inspiring story in 300 words. (The very last in this series, "365 Soulful Messages" will be published in November. I have also contributed to "365 Moments of Grace", and "365 Life Shifts".)
Do you count yourself as a 'quiet one'? Or are you the life and soul of the party? Or, maybe both, at different times? I am sure when we are small babies we are all well able to make our voices heard, to make a noise when we are uncomfortable in some way. As a child I was told it was 'good' to be quiet.
Some years ago I began to learn about introversion and extroversion. All of us would be somewhere on the scale, and I don't believe it is fixed. However, the simple distinction I read about helped me understand myself more. Introverts tend to recharge their batteries by being alone: out in nature, reading, painting, writing, meditating. Extroverts tend to gain their energy by being with people, the centre of a crowd, maybe at a party, dancing, playing team sports, sharing all sorts of activities. These distinctions are simplified: we all probably enjoy being alone at times, and at other times in a lively place with lots of friends.
So, for me, it means for example that when I go to a big event, such as a conference, I need to have a place to retreat to, ideally the room where I am staying is close by. And places where I can sit with one or two people and enjoy in-depth conversations. Failing that, you may see me retreat into my own thoughts even in a crowd, as illustrated by this photo taken without my knowledge at a conference a few years ago.
So, how do you regain your powerful voice as a 'quiet one'? I can only reflect on my own experience, my journey, and hope you will find some resonance with your own experience. It took me a while to come to understand that being powerful did not mean 'loud'. Certainly not for me, nor I suspect, for many others. I learned through being a trainer and giving talks to quite large and lively groups, that standing silently can be a more powerful way of bringing attention to the fact that you are ready to speak than shouting. Sometimes I would raise my arm, as we used to do in school when I was small, others soon notice and do the same - the quietness spreads.
Being heard is not about having a loud voice, although in some circumstances it is about learning to project your voice, and to speak slowly and clearly, something I learned through training and experience. In other situations there can be all sorts of emotional barriers to being heard. And to speaking clearly, to stepping away from emotion for a moment at least.
Writing helped me: writing for myself initially. I began doing that on the day I was diagnosed with cervical cancer in 1994. I bought a journal and began writing. I recorded everything: what the doctors said, questions I had, feelings, experiences, frustrations. My journal became a friend and a safe haven. Somewhere I could place all the things I couldn't, or didn't want to, share with my family and friends. Later I discovered how common it is for the person with the illness, especially something like cancer, to feel they need to be strong, to protect family and friends by not sharing their true feelings. Later my journal was the starting point for my compilation of women's stories, published in 1998 as 'Flying in the Face of Fear'.
Moving on through the years, when I chose to return to running Dare to Blossom Life Coaching full time in 2015, after 12 years of enjoying employed roles as a business coach and trainer, I found the concept of 'power' arising frequently.
Many of us are afraid of the very idea of power. We may associate it with the old paradigm of power over people, control by fear, keeping people down so you can rise to the top. No wonder we reject that idea. The power I have been exploring for myself and in so many coaching conversations since, is collaborative, sharing, 'together we rise'. A more gentle, even quiet, feminine power. Many people I know, men and women, yearn for more balance, for more of the feminine alongside the masculine. A power with others.
From those reflections and conversations, grew the programmes I have been running since then, and which are changing and evolving each year. The 2020 version is called "The Power of Your Compass Rose". This has also emerged as the title of the book that will now be completed after my trip to New Zealand. I know in my heart now that this journey is for me a necessary part of that writing, a reason for the book not being ready to be finished earlier. A journey of reunions with my family, and with the land of that magical country, and then a journey home with those new experiences, a journey home to myself - this will add the completion to the book I had been searching for without knowing what it was before.
For you, suggestions for your journal reflections or meditations:
- How do you see yourself on the scale between introvert and extrovert? You may like to reflect in your journal about how you behave in different situations.
- What is your first response to the word 'power'?
- What else is there? And, what else?
- Do you have something you would like more people to hear? If so, explore your preferred way of communicating. Is it through the spoken word? In writing? One-to-one or in a larger group?
- If you feel strongly about your message, choose the most comfortable way and ... just begin.
“To Come Home to Yourself”
“May all that is unforgiven in you be released, may your fears yield their deepest tranquilities, may all that is unlived in you blossom into a future graced with love.”
Events and ways to Dare to Blossom
One to One Coaching: I will be opening booking for coaching again in January 2020. If this is something you would like to explore, we can share a conversation on Zoom during an initial complimentary consultation before then. Here is the link to my scheduler. Apart from when I am away travelling, I would always say that if you can't find a convenient time (especially if we are in different time zones), just ask, as it is always possible to find a mutually convenient time.
Cornwall Workshops: The last event of 2019 is on Saturday 16th November, from 10 am to 1 pm, at the Blue Lotus Therapy Centre as usual. We complete the circle, the cycle around the year, around the Compass Rose, with 'Return to Peace'. The first event of 2020 is on Saturday 25th January.
2020 Programmes: "The Power of Your Compass Rose" The new programmes are on the website and the Global Online Circle is open for booking now if you are keen to reserve your place. As always, if you have any questions, simply email or contact me here.
Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this month and sharing my musings.
Until next time,
with love,
Mary
Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter
Until next time,
with love,
Mary
Find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook, @daretoblossom on Twitter
