Caring

9 January 2014 My first reaction on drawing this card was somewhat human grumpy-person motivated (if that makes sense! this is a flow writing piece today). I feel I do a lot of caring, am very caring, maybe too much so. Then I feel ashamed of feeling that way and expressing it here. My next thought is about caring for myself. That old, old issue of looking after myself in order to then be able to give of my best to others. In contrast to playing a 'martyr' role. In a way, this illustrates something I have been thinking about recently. I have been reading The Shadow Effect by Deepak Chopra, Debbie Ford and Marianne Williamson. I have read the first section, by Deepak Chopra, and I am now part-way through Debbie's. So much there helps me understand myself and my reactions a little more. As people go through life they learn how to fit in within their family, community and society. They become accustomed to what is expected, what is acceptable. Over time hiding parts of ourselves becomes so 'normal' that we don't realise we are doing it. Small children speak out with absolute honesty about what they see: "Mummy, that man has a very big nose." "Daddy, why has that lady got a black eye?" As they grow up they learn that it is not 'polite' to speak that way. We all learn to hide the parts of ourselves we feel ashamed of; things we've done; mistakes we've made. We also hide those things we feel may be too big, too grand, too dazzling. Parts of ourselves are suppressed in case people think we are 'showing off', or 'too big for her boots'. Both of those extremes are part of us. When we can welcome them in and recognise our gifts and lessons, acknowledge and express emotions honestly - then we become more whole. More able to be truly caring. By having love and compassion for ourselves, we are then able to love and care for others in a way that is for their greatest good, rather than serving our own ends When we become our bigger selves we give others permission to shine too. This photo taken in Topsham, Devon in November 2012, illustrates 'light and dark' for me: without those dark low clouds, the brightness of the sky, and the reflection in the water and wet mud of the estuary would not be so striking. I am not quite sure how my first 'grumpy person' thoughts took me on this journey - perhaps to show here that being honest with myself, and with you, about my first reactions, can lead to clarity and insights that I might otherwise have missed. I haven't really written much about the word that prompted these thoughts. If I drew 'Caring' another time I might write about all the people whose care I am grateful for - starting from my parents, my sister and brother, my wider family. Teachers at school and later; friends all through my life; colleagues at work; professionals to whom I was a stranger but who often went out of their way to help. My thanks to each of you. And now - I have written about those people, and that is how the process works, especially if I allow the writing to flow and see what thoughts appear on the paper, without being filtered through my internal critic. The green of the background to this card is gentle and nurturing, a colour of nature. A green I could sink into like a dry mossy bank on a summer's day. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. The special offer for a Rediscovery Session is still open until the end of January, just email me if you do not have the details. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.