Dare to Blossom Newsletter March 2014

March 2014

Reflections: Allowing
News
Inspirational links


Starting with a photo of the daffodils in bloom outside my office, glorious sunshine yellow.

Reflections: Allowing

This could be one of the words on the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery cards - though it isn't in the current set. (Who knows maybe there will be a 'second edition' one day?)

As I begin to write this, a few days before it is due to go out to you, I have got myself in a strange frame of mind. After the word popped up in my head yesterday it sparked several thoughts for me. One was that I would 'allow' myself to get some paints out and have a play with no expectations. As I doodled I found myself wanting to make something 'fit' to show you, for it to be 'good enough'. It became a task I had to do and then I began to criticise myself both for not being spontaneous enough and for not making a very good picture.

Dear me - those inner critics (several of them all chattering in my head at once) have been having a field day. Just the opposite of the idea of a little bit of fun. Such an example of how I sabotage myself, turning a relaxing pastime for an hour on a Sunday afternoon into a competition with myself that I could never win. Does this sound familiar to you?

So, having been through all this process I have come here to write it out, to explore straight onto the screen how all this is feeling. One of my first thoughts about 'Allowing' was letting go, not being so hard on myself. So, as my intention in all my writing is to be as genuine and authentic and true as I can, I am sharing the process, but not my doodles in paint (though I may at another time).

Another thought has been about how writing the weekly and monthly newsletters creates a burden when they fall in the same week. And I am feeling now that I may choose not to include a 'Reflections' piece here for a while (as I am doing plenty of that in the weekly thoughts on the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards). I will still send some news and inspirational links for you each month. When I complete my weekly ritual of writing about each card, then I will review and decide what I would like to choose next. By next month... who knows, I may have changed my mind again - this my privilege as the creator of all this.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:
- What are you not allowing yourself - to do, to think, to dream?
- You might write a list of things that you could do if there were no limits of barriers.
- Then choose one or two and find a way of achieving the feeling of that dream - for example, if you feel 'travel round the world' is not achievable right now, find somewhere close to home that is new to you and explore.
- Another aspect of this: where have you created a task for yourself that you 'have to do'? (Like me 'having' to write two newsletters in one week).
- Do you want to make a different choice?
- What might you choose next?
- What makes your heart sing?

News: 

Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Short and Sweet 15 minute Session
If you have been at all drawn to trying out a Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Coaching session, perhaps you've been wondering what on earth it is exactly? And can you spare a whole hour to find out? And can you invest £65 to satisfy your curiosity? I am very happy that people do take that step and there are some testimonials on the dedicated website 'The Rediscovery Process'. These demonstrate the powerful process that can emerge during an in-depth Rediscovery Session.

However, if the questions above describe how you are feeling, I'd like to offer you a different way to try out the process. A dear friend helped me experiment with this recently (thank you Sue!). The offer is a focused 'Short and Sweet' session of fifteen minutes, drawing one card and exploring what images, reactions and inner wisdom that brings for you. The cost is £16.50. If you are inspired to book now, you can go straight to the PayPal payment and then email me to arrange a convenient time for you. (Telephone or Skype). If you don't have your own Rediscovery Cards, I will shuffle a pack and draw a card for you, it works just the same.

Inspirational Links: 

1. WOW.... Magical Meetings for Women group: a group of amazing women who, in the words of Lynda Thomas: "... meet on the last Thursday of every month at Carnon Downs Village Hall 2.30-5pm...and enjoy an Inspirational guest speaker (various topics)

Eat cake. Drink Tea. Share experiences. Have a laugh......meet fab women...network.....friendships....lots more.....£10 entry.....our speakers are paid.....let me know if you would like to be our Speaker! go on....give "WOW" a go!!! love Lyn x"

If you subscribe to the Rediscovery Cards newsletter as well as this one, you will see two versions of this notice, one mentioning the February event and this one: on Thursday 27 March I am the speaker and I am planning a short talk followed by a mini Rediscovery Workshop, I do hope to see you there.

2. I have recently come across the work of Teresa Wicksteed, who is based here in Cornwall. Although I have yet to see the paintings in their full glory in a gallery, the images on her website are stunning and inspiring. I love the movement and energy in them, the way she explores and conveys so many feelings with the paint. One day I would love to visit her studio on the Rame Peninsul. Thank you for allowing me to mention you here Teresa.

3. Spiritual Lives is a community on Facebook, set up by Penny Edwards as "A place to talk about all things spiritual and how it affects our lives mentally, emotionally and physically", do pop over and say hello and join in the discussions.

Thank you - for being my companion, for your support and comments, for sharing your suggestions and thoughts. 

As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for sharing time with me here.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

*if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Peace

26 February 2014 When I drew this card I hoped that it signified a calm and peaceful week, so far it has been the opposite. Full of technical hitches, and challenges of many types. But - maybe that was why I drew this card, to remind me that Peace is always there within, always accessible if I can only detach a little from the sometimes frantic everyday world. Detach and reconnect with the quiet within, that still quiet place of refuge. That still quiet place that can also be a crucible for inspiration and ideas  I am finding it hard to write about 'peace'. For me it is a feeling rather than words, maybe because I associate words in some ways with 'work' - speaking, teaching, writing. I am so fortunate that most of my work is also my joy. All those things bring satisfaction, rewards, personal exploration and professional development too. And I am very conscious that it is important to me to retain the balance that allows me to truly feel that way. If my work starts to become a drudge or a burden, then I soon know that something is off centre, out of line, needs rebalancing.  When I take the time out to do that all returns to peaceful equilibrium, even in the midst of a busy world. 'Taking time out' can be as quick and simple as stopping for ten minutes to breathe and stretch, to tune in to myself and to become aware of all around me in the moment. Where ever I am, there is always something beautiful, interesting or intriguing (sometimes all three). The colour has not shown true in my photograph, it is less turquoise, more a soft 'Wedgwood' blue. I've been searching for a photo with the colour, this 'summer clouds' sky is about the best I can find, taken last year on a glorious afternoon. The colour actually doesn't matter, the feeling of Peace is there.This has just brought back a a childhood memory of when I lived with my family at South Brent, on the edge of Dartmoor. The garden of our house backed on to fields and even at a young age ( I must have been 9 or 10) my brother and I were allowed to walk up there onto Brent Hill - I remembering lying on our backs on the soft grass and gazing up into the blue of the sky..... peace. Event News: This is normally in the monthly newsletter, but I am including it here as well as the February event is tomorrow, Thursday 27 February. The speaker is Lucy Miles, who I have yet to meet, her work sounds fascinating. If you are in the area do go along they are a wonderful friendly and welcoming group of women. Even if you are not able to go to the meetings you can request to join the Facebook group (follow the link below) to keep in touch and network online. WOW.... Magical Meetings for Women: a group of amazing women who, in the words of Lynda Thomas: "... meet on the last Thursday of every month at Carnon Downs Village Hall 2.30-5pm...and enjoy an Inspirational guest speaker (various topics) Eat cake. Drink Tea. Share experiences. Have a laugh......meet fab women... network.....friendships....lots more.....£10 entry.....our speakers are paid.....let me know if  you would like to be our Speaker! go on....give "WOW" a go!!! love Lyn x" If you subscribe to the monthly Dare to Blossom newsletter as well as this one, you will see another version of this notice, mentioning the March event when I am the speaker. I am planning a short talk followed by a mini Rediscovery Workshop, I do hope to see you there.  As always, please feel free to comment with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Love

19 February 2014 I was looking out for 'synchronicities' last week - and had to laugh when this card came up, the day before Valentine's Day. I've been reading a lot about 'self-care' recently, and sometimes writing here too, but I am not sure if I have focused in much on 'self-love'. Thinking about that, I decided to try the exercise of writing a 'love letter to my body'. However, when I came to write in my journal one morning, my first thought was that I didn't 'deserve' a love letter to my body. Then I laughed at myself a little - and realised that I especially deserved, and needed to write that day, when I was feeling tired and a little unwell and unhappy with myself. At first I was not sure I would share it, but of course you, my dear friends and constant supporters, will be my witness and hold the space for me to share in safety as always - thank you.   "Dear Body, Thank you for being my home for all these years. For healing so miraculously after cuts and bruises and burns. Even dealing with huge 'insults' such as major surgery as best you can. Please forgive me for the times I insult you myself, cursing the aches and the imperfections, making things worse by blaming you and by thinking negative thoughts. I'm sorry, please forgive me, I love you. I love everything about you and I am honoured to have the privilege of caring for you and being within you. I celebrate the way you have gone through more than 61 years of growing and changing and living. I love your green/hazel eyes, your gracefully greying hair, your well-earned wrinkles and laughter lines. I love your hands which reminded my niece of her mother's (my sister's), and are looking more and more like my mother's hands. I love the brain/mind that thinks, solves problems and creates. I love being here, a soul in a beloved body, sharing this time and space with other souls embodied to be love and create joy. Thank you. I love you." After I had written this I felt tearful,  I don't often take time for the experience of expressing love for myself, any aspect of myself, despite having read many writers' words on the subject. I also realised that there were many parts of my body I had not included, that I had not expressed love for - maybe that is for 'love letter number two'. If I start letting my internal critic pipe up and start suggesting 'improvements' or 'omissions', then I am not expressing self-love and acceptance of who I am. Today this is the piece I have written, and this is the piece that is taking a little courage to include here and prepare to press the 'send' button once again. So I am listening to my 'cheerleaders' not the critics, and I will also send you this photo - one I think I may have used before is but particularly appropriate this week. I bought it from the wonderful artist Fleur Barnfather, at an event in London on 22 February 2011 - the day of the huge earthquake in New Zealand. My heart was breaking until I received news that all my family there were safe and continued to ache for everyone who was caught up in that traumatic natural disaster where so many people were killed, injured and lost their homes. So, this little heart is very precious to me and symbolises the invincibility of the human spirit that was demonstrated so movingly, then, and in all such events as the occur around the world. 'Love' covers so many things: love for family and friends; the love that summons the courage that allows someone to risk themselves to save another in danger; the love we feel for our extraordinary world and everything within it, and surrounding us in the Universe. Highlighting as I have the aspect of love for the self is not 'selfish' or unheeding of the needs of others. Quite the opposite: in the same way that to heal others I must first know how to heal myself; to give to others I first need to nourish myself to have something to give; so to love deeply I have first to truly love and accept myself. As has been written, if my well is empty no one can drink from it - how best can I fill my well in this moment and then go out into the world able to love and give, and serve others, and dance with joy? The deep pink of the card brings to me a feeling of grace and ease, of being surrounded by love and laughter. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Synchronicity

12 February 2014 When this card came out of the pack, somehow I thought maybe this week I would notice lots more 'synchronicity' than usual. I wonder if it is any coincidence that I haven't, less than usual if anything. Or do I miss the coincidences and synchronicities? Are some of them 'invisible' ones, things that avoid something happening, such as just missing a bad traffic jam caused by an accident (or even missing being involved in that accident myself)?    After beginning to tie my mind in knots I decided to change tack and refer to the dictionary. Cambridge Dictionaries Online has this: "the happening by chance of two or more related or similar events at the same time."  Then I looked it up again, this time on dictionary.com: "the simultaneous occurrence of events which appear significantly related but have no discernible causal connection." I feel that '..no discernible causal connection." is helpful. For me, the fact that I cannot 'discern' - know or understand, if there is a connection or not may not be important. Seeing a pattern may help me, whether or not it can be proved one way or another. For example, as I shared with you in an earlier piece, I saw Julia McCutchen's Conscious Writing Retreat advertised just at a time when I was thinking about what to do next when I finish this weekly process of writing about each of the fifty cards in the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Pack, and the date of the retreat coincides quite closely with that milestone, and that date is almost exactly the twentieth anniversary of my surgery for cancer. There is no causal connection - and there is still great significance for me, there is joy in the 'synchronicity' that makes me laugh. Maybe that is all that matters - if I choose to draw meaning for myself, in my life, from synchronous events, that is up to me. It would not be for me to say to someone else that events occurring together 'should' have any importance to them. Having shared these reflections with you, I am still feeling 'knotted' and vaguely dissatisfied with my writing. Should I delete it all and start again? That would not be authentic though - my aim is to share my real experience, my actual process of rediscovery as I use the cards. So have I rediscovered anything yet? So far it feels a surface exercise: I have 'rediscovered' if that were needed, my tendency to be self-critical, to be afraid of sharing my thoughts and voicing my uncertainty publicly. So, I have just had a thought pop up - ask the question I use with people I work with: "What else?" The colour of the card is the cerise of 'my' passion flower. This picture is the one I took last summer of the first flowers ever to bloom outside of our conservatory (after years of flowering in the shelter and safety of that environment). At the time I wrote about the way this gave me an analogy for the way I am 'daring to blossom' more fully; stepping up and speaking out; being heard. And the outdoor flowering was a synchronous event that helped me in applying my metaphor of the world of living plants to my own personal and professional development. The passionflower continued to blossom outdoors all summer and right through the autumn. I have recently been speaking to a number of people about creative lulls and remembering the need for a dormant period. I find it easy to get frustrated when this happens; sometimes it is enforced by a cold or other illness; sometimes a consequence of having to wait for events to flow, time to pass. Whatever the circumstances there is nothing I can do to speed the process, so all I can do is practise patience; to wait for whatever is germinating quietly out of sight to be ready to emerge. At this time of year in Cornwall the buds are just beginning to swell, not yet ready to break into new spring-green leaves. That process has to develop as and when the time is right; the weather conducive. The same could be said to apply to my work: if I try to force things they will be more tender and may be weak and spindly; they may not be strong enough to survive the ups and downs of the outside world. I think I recognised this when I decided to devote a whole year to this process of my own rediscovery through the cards; even though at times I am impatient to move on to the next thing: a book, a course, a new style of coaching - these things, if and when they emerge, will be all the stronger and more robust and resilient for having had a long germination time. Back to the question: "What else?" The words I hear are "Just be. Just enjoy, relax, slip into the process and allow it to carry you along."  So on this cold and blustery day, I will wrap myself in an imaginary vibrant pink blanket of potential synchronicity and .... just be. And in time, perhaps very soon - new ideas will be bursting out. I've already had some inklings and suggestions of collaborations with others, and whatever comes next is likely to take forms that I have yet to imagine.    As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. If you are in an area involved in the current storms and floods, my thoughts are with you. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Acceptance

6 February 2014 Acceptance - coming straight after surrender, how interesting. And appearing in the Serenity Prayer that I quoted recently:   “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.” Acceptance - this also brings to mind all the things I've had to accept as I have gone through life. As the years go by and I have more memories, more knowledge (and more things that I cannot quite recall too); as time passes I have had times of falling into that trap of regrets. Regretting that I can't do the things I used to perhaps, or that there are some dreams that may never come true. Worrying about physical changes and what may come in the future. There's that worry-brain again (do I keep mentioning my great talent for worrying? I rather suspect I do.) Then I read something such as Kathy Kane's newsletter where she writes about:   "A few examples of folks who were comfortable with who they were, their value and what they had to offer: A woman in a suburban NJ town recently celebrated her 100th birthday surrounded by her family and students. Yes, her students. She teaches home economics, runs after school cooking and sewing programs and makes the school play costumes. And, the day after her birthday, she went right back to work. Oh, and she started when she was 81." I love the phrase "..comfortable with who they were, their value and what they had to offer." (There are more examples in Kathy's newsletter). With time everything changes, at any age in life. There are a lot of chances to practice acceptance as these changes occur.  When I can change in positive ways, and maybe start to accept the things I cannot change, then, maybe - I can see how I am learning to think not of 'growing older' but rather of simply 'growing'. And then a step further: remembering, rediscovering, that what I have just called 'growing' is a realisation of my true self. Finding the courage to express that true self, the eternal self that truly does not change, simply becomes more clear, more focused.  Another part of my growing over time has been the opportunity to practice acceptance with other people: to accept them how they are. Not to excuse behaviour, sometimes that has to be challenged, or at the very least moved away from. To accept each person as a companion on our journey, that each of us does the best we can in any moment, however imperfect and messy that 'best' may feel. One of the dictionary definitions of 'Acceptance' is "The act of taking or receiving something offered." Life continually offers opportunities - through the changes that go on around and within in us - to receive with gratitude, to learn and to grow. The deep blue of this card feels to me to represent the depth of the sea or the boundless blue sky on a summer's day: with acceptance I open up potential of new depths and heights to explore; being open to change rather than fearing it I can become more and more my true self and in that way connect with others doing the same. Writing this today has felt like a deep meditation and it feels right to end with: Namaste. Thank you. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Dare to Blossom Newsletter February 2014

February 2014

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
 

Reflections: Return of the Light

This has been an interesting time. many people find January a testing month for all sorts of reasons. Once we get to February I feel as if something shifts: the evenings are slightly lighter, the mornings a little less dark. This year I have noticed the birds singing at dawn even though it is still quite cold (and could still get colder again). 

This photo was taken, on my phone through a rain-smeared windscreen, at Widemouth Bay, one of my favourite spots. I usually stop there for my sandwich lunch in my car. On this day I'd been in near-by Bude most of the day and paused in the cliff-top car park for a moment to take in the view. The stormy sky and wild sea was a dramatic sight, then, as I watched, a shaft of sunlight broke through the clouds and shone down onto the sea. This picture cannot really do the scene justice as the brightness of the sun has dazzled the lens - I hope you can visualise how impressive it was at the time.



It felt to me like a wonderful illustration of the returning light after winter. If you not in the northern hemisphere this may be more relevant at a different time of the year (or not at all if you live in the tropics or on the equator). However, at times in my life I have experienced what some call a 'dark night of the soul', have you? This can be most debilitating when it occurs at a time of year when we feel we 'should' be 'full of the joys of spring' or luxuriating in the summer sun. I have felt the return of the light in these circumstances too - and it can be as sudden and as striking as this view of the shaft of sunlight breaking through the clouds.

When I am in those dark moments I find comfort in remembering that the sun is always there, always shining, above the clouds, and if it is night time where I am, it is shining somewhere in the world. Developing internal resilience has, for me, been about finding the light in the darkness, reaching within and knowing, without any 'proof' that the light is there, I am connected, as we all are if we wish, to something that transcends earthly problems.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:
- Where have you felt the darkness recently?
- Are you able to shine a bright light to illuminate this?
- What does it show you?

You might like to spend a little time doing some flow-writing to explore what is coming up for you. 

An example of this is something I took part in at the the recent Lapidus (Cornwall) annual general meeting. As well as the business part of the meeting (more on that another time), we were given the chance to spend seven minutes flow writing about 'A Message'. here is what I wrote:

"A Message: the words come from nowhere -'write, write, to save your life.' They came then, twenty years ago, and still, today. Or was it from nowhere? Or was it that word trick: NOWHERE = NOW HERE? Now i am here, in the present, appreciating, valuing, LIVING my life, however short or long that is. Words help my soul to speak - as do images, art, doodles, photographs. The colours and patterns, words, and - oh, and music - all touching the core, the heart of the message. "Words for well-being" how true that is. Along the road to well-being the words express: despair, sorrow, frustration, hope, joy, love..... The message spins out at me when I disconnect my worry-brain, ignore the critic, allow myself to be. Be silly, be serious, be awkward, be banal, be boring, be creative, be me - in all the messy human-ness of real life. Along the way maybe I have offered a way to others in a tiny example of how your message can emerge without being polished and honed, without being 'professional' or crafted. Just what it is, just "The Message".

As you can see this is messy and nonsensical in places, if I wanted to I could take parts of it and polish it up, make it more coherent, or I can just let it sit, as I have, as something that happened in a quiet moment in a room of seven or eight people, sharing and supporting each other to 'just be me'.

Please note: these sort of exercises can often bring up deep feelings, you will know what is right for you to try, and where and when. It is good to be in a place where you feel comfortable and safe and will not be disturbed, where you can allow yourself to feel those feelings that do arise, acknowledge them, and let them pass. This may be by yourself, with a supportive group, or with a health professional.
 

Links to inspire and amuse: 

This video from Soleira Green puts over so succinctly how we can 'flip problems into potential'.

For some feel good dancing-round-the-kitchen moments, try this -  'Happy' from Pharrell Williams..

As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments. 

If you would like to own a set of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for sharing time with me here.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

*if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.