January 2014

 

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom Newsletter
 

Happy New Year - starting soon in New Zealand and making it's way around the globe

 In this issue:

Reflections: on 2013 and looking ahead

New Year Special: a one hour Skype or telephone Rediscovery Session

Book review: "The Night Circus"

Reflections: on 2013

This has been an interesting piece to write. I sat down before Christmas thinking I would make a start and be ahead of things. But ...... this just didn't want to be written then. It wasn't working at all. There is a right time for everything, and when I find that time the writing just flows. If I try to force the words out onto the page it can feel almost literally painful. If I write anything at all, it probably won't ring true.




This picture (taken in my garden on Christmas Day) - illustrates how I feel sometimes. I could be the little ladybird in a big world. I think the ladybirds are hibernating as we find many of them in among the leaves, this one is on an echium plant.  At this time of year, particularly for those of us in the Northern hemisphere, Christmas is a time for snuggling in, for shutting out the world.

When I am able to open my eyes and look back at the last year just ending and forward to the months ahead in 2014 - then I can prepare myself to spread my wings and fly - as the ladybird can any time it wishes. In my personal review of 2013, I would like to thank everyone who I have had contact with; every one of you has brought something special and unique. We have shared laughs and heartaches; sorrows and giggles; ice-creams on the beach in November; windy walks. Even if we have not physically been together this year, we have shared love and conversations; jokes and presents; insights and irritations; triumphs and trials.

Last year at this time I wrote about 'not-knowing' and uncertainty and I included these words:

"At this moment, on 31st December 2012, I do not know what form this work will take. If you choose to keep reading these monthly missives I will treasure your company along the way to find out 'what happens next'."

One of my most personally satisfying and significant achievements has been continuing to write these newsletters, and the weekly Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Card reflections. Writing every week has been a challenge, as has finding the courage to press the 'Send' button at times. I know now that I have set out on a path that I will be following for some time. I will be writing the piece for the last card, number 50, sometime in May or early June 2014. After that I will be using my in-depth experience of the process to be your companion on your own journey if you so wish.

Between Christmas and New Year I had a coaching session with Soleira Green. It was perfect timing, Soleira encouraged me to recognise my achievements over the two years and to look forward to what I could create in the next year. My view is that everyone working with people (whether you call it 'coaching' or not) benefits from this type of support. I can't see myself clearly without a mirror and someone to ask the questions that lead me beyond what I already know into future possibilities. If I try to control and plan too tightly I may be limiting myself, restricting my creativity, stifling what could emerge if I have the trust to follow.

My word for this year is 'Clarity' and I started the session with Soleira with that thought. I mentioned my idea of adding value and depth to the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards process by developing an on-line course. During our conversation and sharing of insights, this emerged as something I can now see much more clearly. An in-depth course that would last 50 weeks, one for each card, building on my experiences of using them in that way. There would be support from me as your companion along the way in your exploration of your own inner wisdom and that journey of coming home to yourself. This might be through email, and also regular (perhaps weekly) one-to-one coaching on the phone or Skype. Possibly some workshops or retreats during the year as well. I know through work with my own support team (of coaches, healers, wise friends) - and through the breakthroughs that my clients make - how crucial that one-to-one time can be in acting as the catalyst in helping thoughts crystallise and come to life.

There is a lot more to emerge as yet, and many questions: would everyone on the course be told which card was the topic each week? Or would you draw your own card from your pack and then access the appropriate prompts from the on-line course? What do you think would suit you if you were to do this? Please email me if you have any thoughts of suggestions, I will look forward to hearing from you.


Recently someone asked me how I describe what I do, and I wrote: "My work is in supporting people to find meaning in their lives and be at peace with where they are. Then to explore how they can change and develop if they wish."

Reflecting now, I would expand on that: through the Rediscovery Process I come home to myself and recognise I am whole and have everything I need within me.  Then, if I choose, I link into the source within that connects every living thing and move into the next level of my being, acknowledging and using my true power. So the next stage in rediscovery is connecting with your source, to the "Power Within", exploring how you can enjoy and embody that in your life and your world, creating the new from the currently unknown potential within - "Sourceful Living". This the journey I am embarking on now and will be sharing with you as the months pass next year, developing another programme to build on the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Process. as I said this time last year: watch this space to follow what happens next!

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:
- What is your word for this New Year and the twelve months to follow?
- You may wish to pick several and then sit with them for a while or use flow-writing to explore the messages they bring.
- Are there any themes emerging?
- Do you want to draw, paint or create a collage to mark this New Year process?

 

Special Offer: a one hour Skype or telephone Rediscovery Session

If you would like to try out Rediscovery Coaching for yourself, I have a limited number of slots available at the special price of £45 for a one hour Skype or telephone session, if booked before 31 January 2014. Just email me and suggest some times that would suit you and we can book your time to start your own voyage of rediscovery. This may take you anywhere: planning actions to take you forward tomorrow; looking ahead into the future; exploring past and present relationships; diving into your future potential - it is up to you and your source within.

Here is part of a testimonial following a recent Rediscovery call:

"I love the simplicity and the depth of the Rediscovery journey. For me, it is no longer about looking 'out there' for wisdom, guidance or insight, but instead digging deep and mining the rich seams of my own self, so that I can come more fully into the wholeness of my being. Mary, with her focused attention and presence, holds the space for whatever needs to emerge from deep within myself, and bears witness to that in way that is both potent, and powerful."

To read  more of this account and some other experiences, click here. If you do not yet have your own set of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards, there is a further discount (£10 plus postage instead of £12) for January if you purchase a pack at the same time as booking a Rediscovery Session. And during your session, if you do not have the cards I can draw them for you from a brand new pack - then you can either buy that special pack afterwards, or I will take photos and send them to you.

Book Review: "The Night Circus"

Christmas is one of the times I have the luxury of curling up with a good novel and reading for hours at a time. This year I bought The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern from Cygnus Books, and I have just loved reading it. She creates a world of mystery and magic; strange characters and love stories. There are very few books that I could literally just go back to the beginning and read again immediately -and this is one. It joins my all time favourites alongside classics such as The Secret Garden, The Hobbit and The Little White Horse. 


Thank you - for being my companion this year, for your support and comments, for sharing your suggestions and thoughts. Wishing you a joyful and fulfilling year in 2014. Here is a beautiful rendition of 'Auld Lang Syne' to mark the start of 2014.
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As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts. 

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page.

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

*if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Support

19 December 2013 After writing about 'Purpose' last week, and sending it out into the world, I felt very wobbly and vulnerable. Exposed and a little nervous about how my thoughts would be received. I needn't have worried - I am learning that when I feel that way, that is just the piece of writing that really connects with those of you reading. The amount of support I received back in the way of comments and sharing of experiences has been heart-warming and has reaffirmed my commitment to this process. A huge thank you to everyone who took the time to respond. And to everyone who reads this, whether you have time or inclination to write to me or not. So, when I drew this card I laughed, having already felt and appreciated 'Support'. It is also a chance to reflect on the many people in my 'support network'. My closest family and friends, my fellow coaches, my work colleagues, all my contacts on-line in various forums (fora?) and Facebook. All the authors whose work has inspired and challenged me. The artists and photographers whose images delight and move me. The strangers whose smile in the street or kind words can change a day. My cats - over the years a series of beloved companions, who give affection (even if 'cupboard love'!), cuddles and laughter. The wonderful natural environment all around that often brings messages for me. The colour is warm deep pink, feeling to me like a wonderful soft blanket of love to wrap myself in and snuggle up. And speaking of pink - this was sent to me by Soleira Green, with perfect timing (of course!), and is a wonderful story of love and support, so I felt it is good to share it here, The Tutu Project Finally, a 'seasonal' picture - we haven't had snow here yet this year, (though there is a mention of the possibility of some in the forecast), so I've found a photo from January 2010 for you. It was taken just outside our gate, the New Zealand flax (phormium) plants looking rather dramatic. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. **Remember: last chance to enter the draw for a free pack of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards - email me with your postal address by 5 pm (GMT) on Friday 20 December.** There will be no weekly newsletter next week as Thursday is Boxing Day. I'll be sending you the first monthly newsletter for 2014 on 31st December so look out for that as there will be a special offer for you to start the New Year with a Rediscovery Session if you wish. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Purpose

12 December 2013 Just after I drew this card last week, I had a booking for a Rediscovery Session via Skype with a friend who has become a regular client. I think I can say it was an amazing experience for both of us. Afterwards, I thought to myself "This is my purpose in life, I wish I could do this all the time." Then I fell into the trap of feeling sorry for myself because I am not in a position where I can spend my days only working with people in this way. Then I stopped myself: what exactly had I been doing during that conversation? Very little: I was listening, providing thinking time, holding the space for her to explore. A few questions, in this example mainly the repetition of one question: "And is there anything else?" It truly was magical how deep a process this was, starting with a simple word on a piece of card with a coloured background. In truth, what had made the Rediscovery Session work was nothing I was doing but how I was being. So if I can adjust my viewpoint to that of being not doing, that can change everything. For me, it changes my attitude to the other work I do to pay the bills (and to all the other tasks and chores in daily life). If my purpose is to be a certain way, and to be in the feeling of coming home to myself that brings - then my purpose is always with me and always accessible. Where ever I am, what ever I am doing. The practice of being my purpose is an on-going process. If I can remain focused on being not doing I find it easier not to slip into the negativity and critical self-talk that pops up so easily.  Action is important to get things done, make things happen. The way I am being while taking those actions alters my own experience. It probably also alters the experience of those around me, though that is not for me to say. As I was writing the first part of this yesterday morning, I looked up and saw the sunrise dawning out of my window. At that moment I knew exactly what to do, grab my camera and my coat and get outside to enjoy the glory of that moment. A moment that will never be repeated in quite the same way. Here are two photos, one taken early when the sun was just starting to rise, the other later when the magical colours had suffused the whole sky. The second was taken looking directly up over my head, and these colours always bring to mind that expression from a childhood story (I can't remember which one, do you know?) "Sky blue pink". Don't forget to email with your postal address if you would like to enter the draw for a set of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards which closes on 20th December. And look out for a special offer in January on Rediscovery Sessions so you can experience the process for yourself if you wish. (Of course, you can contact me at any time for a free consultation to find out more about my services.) As always, please feel free to comment with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Understanding

5 December 2013 This is one of the 'skew-whiff' photographs. As I explained to those of you who have been reading since the beginning, I took pictures of all fifty cards outside in my garden in quite a short time, as if I had simply drawn them out and laid them on a table. Thinking of that now, I wonder why I thought it necessary to explain? Did I feel you would judge me as less than 'perfect' - that unattainable goal? Was I perhaps asking for your understanding or compassion? How many of us can claim to understand another person? Even in simple communications, between two people speaking the same language, there is plenty of potential for misunderstanding. Where feelings and emotions are involved - is it even possible? I am realising with the recent reading, journalling and thinking I have been doing, that I surely do not understand myself a lot of the time. Going to the dictionary hasn't provided much illumination for me this time, such a range of definitions: comprehension, interpretation, ability to judge and make decisions, perception. These are all correct of course. Then I came to "sympathetic awareness or tolerance". In the context of how this card has worked for me this week, that rings more true right now. Being aware of myself and of other people, and the interactions between us. Being aware of my own state of mind and how it impacts on me and on others. Not necessarily being able to (or even trying to) explain or comprehend, simply being with.... whatever it is in that moment.  (This is not relevant where there is a immediate threat or danger, then the awareness that is appropriate may be "Move quickly, there's a car coming!" or similar) One website I found (here) exploring the origin and history of the word, refers to 'stand in the midst of'. This conjures a picture for me, of standing in the midst of a situation, simply being there and experiencing, understanding without trying too hard to comprehend or explain, to interpret or to judge. The aqua blue of the background to this card brings a summer sea to my mind, looking down off the cliffs towards the sandy seabed, the sea clear and cool. A feeling that if I trust, understanding will come if it is needed. And maybe some things do not need to be understood?  For some reason it has been very hard to write about this card, I'm not sure why. Perhaps practising being OK with not understanding, (in the same way as being OK with not knowing) is a challenge. I am in the middle of reading 'Infinite Possibilities' by Mike Dooley (of 'Notes from the Universe') - and there he discusses 'understanding' in depth, I will read more....... I'll leave you with a picture of a favourite place for me, that came to mind immediately when I thought of a 'summer sea': It is on the cliffs at Trevone, near Padstow, on the glorious North Cornwall coast. As always, please feel free to add your thoughts and comments below.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. In case you missed the Dare to Blossom December Newsletter, here is a chance for you to win a set of the cards. It is simply a draw, though I do very much appreciate any thoughts of comments you would like to send to me. Win Dare to Blossom Rediscovery cards  A little seasonal competition for you (well, a draw really) - just email me at mary@daretoblossom.co.uk.  Include your mailing address in case you win. Your name will be entered in a random draw for a pack of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards. The closing date is 20th December so that you should receive them before New Year and be able to begin using them to rediscover your inner wisdom during 2014. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

December 2013

Welcome to the Dare to Blossom newsletter
 
Reflections: Celebrations

This week I have friends in the USA (or with connections there) who have been celebrating Thanksgiving. Many of them say that they prefer that event to Christmas as it is less commercalised and focuses on giving thanks. Thanks for family and friends, for the love and laughter in life.

So I started thinking of all the things I have reason to give thanks for: health, family, friends, good books, a satisfying job as well as my business, living in a glorious location.... the list goes on. It is of course a gratitude list under another name, and somehow, for me "Giving thanks" adds an extra dimension. It signifies voicing my gratitude as well as just feeling it. Actually saying to the people around me: "Thank you for being in my life, thank you for your support, your friendship, your love." Maybe "Thank you for the challenges you bring." too, though perhaps I wouldn't say it quite that way.

There is also something about giving thanks before the event. Thanks for the gift of a new day as I step out of bed; thanks for the good breakfast I am about to eat; for the productive activities to come. There is an element of self-fulfilling prophecy here. If I get up expecting a good day, I'll be right; if I expect a bad one - I'll be right too. (Along the lines of the Henry Ford quote: “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't, you're right.”)

With other celebrations coming up - Christmas, New Year, with all the associated pressures, maybe the simple mantra of 'give thanks' is one to keep in mind?

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• What can you give thanks for right now?
• Who can you express gratitude to for being in your life?

Win Dare to Blossom Rediscovery cards 

A little seasonal competition for you (well, a draw really) - just reply to this email, and add some thoughts on the year and what you would like to give thanks for in the year ahead if you wish. Include your mailing address in case you win.

Your name will be entered in a random draw for a pack of Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards. The closing date is 20th December so that you will receive them well before New Year and be able to use them to rediscover your inner wisdom during 2014.

Inspiring Links: Kivq

I have supported the micro-finance scheme Kiva for a number of years and recently received this 'thank you' message. To give a gift that really makes a difference in the world you can by a gift card of a Kiva loan for the recipient to choose how they lend it. I find the whole process fascinating (as well as moving) - seeing how the micro-businesses develop, repay their loans, and maybe borrow again. The determination of people to improve their lives is humbling and inspirational. And, of course as the money you give is a loan, it can be re-lent over and over again. So far my $50 has made 25 loans to people in 14 different countries.

Thank you for reading, and for being my companions throughout 2013. Whether I have heard from you, or not, I am grateful for your continued support and companionship.

Please do leave any comments or feedback below if you feel inspired. Or email me direct if you prefer your remarks to be private, either way it is so good to know that people to read my monthly musings.

all best wishes

Mary

Meditation

28 November 2013 This is an interesting word to write about. In a way I feel like saying.... nothing at all. In my experience meditation is a way of disconnecting from words, and thoughts, and actions. At various points in the past I have been able to devote blocks of time to meditation practice, not always - in my view at the time - 'successfully' - what ever that means. Recently I've been approaching meditation in a different way, allowing myself to count even a minute - sixty seconds - of mindfulness as successful meditation. Last week, while eating lunch in my car as I often do between appointments, I was able to observe myself mindfully eating my satsuma. As i broke the skin to peel it, the sunlight illuminated the spurts of juice that erupted, and my nose appreciated the aroma of intense orange. As I ate each segment I enjoyed the colour as I held it up to the light to check for pips, again the sunlight highlighted the golden hue. As I savoured the flavour I relaxed into the moment - and realised what a gift it was. Being able to be in the moment was a truly meditative experience. Other meditative moments can be through using yoga breathing - simply paying attention to the breath, perhaps deepening and lengthening each one a little. I find this a centering and calming process. Over the years I have used and come to love guided meditations or visualisations, and this card has reminded me that I can revisit the CDs I have with various examples, always a wonderful support. This week I completed the last of four coaching sessions with Kathy Kane, and I can truly say they have been joyous conversations. Kathy is an inspirational and skilled coach, and she helped me with some steps on my journey of 'coming home to myself' that I embarked on when I developed the cards and started this process of sharing over this year. At the end of our session Kathy suggested a guided meditation and the outcome for me was a reconnection with a part of me that offers self-care and nurturing. The soft green background of this card reminds me that being out in the natural world is for me one of the fastest ways to meditation - and one that virtually everyone enjoys in some way, often not thinking of it as meditation. Sitting in my garden, walking on the cliffs, strolling through the woods, driving to work through trees with glorious autumn colours - all opportunities for me to be mindful in my daily life. As always, please feel free to comment below. If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary   Please come and visit 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Forgiveness

21 November 2013 This card is one of those where my first thought was.... I think I'd rather put this back, I'd rather not have to write about this. In my experience that is usually a sign that something important is waiting to emerge. So I've sat with the card for a few days as usual. Today I've decided to make a start, even though I have no idea still what to write. Forgiveness feels too BIG. So many people have written about forgiveness already, I feel inadequate to the task. Aha, maybe that is my first challenge, to forgive myself for feeling that, for not having the confidence that this process is right. Right for me, and for you if you choose to read this. You do not need to accept anything I write, or believe it, or use it in any way, the same as I choose to take or leave many of the things I read. Last weekend, during one of the workshops at the ECL conference, I was reminded of the Hawaiian (and other South Pacific cultures) practice of ho 'oponopono', of forgiveness and reconciliation. As is mentioned on that link, the traditional uses include tribal and family meetings to settle disagreements, with the discussions going on until a way forward has been agreed by all. There are many websites, videos and recordings, I found a wide selection when I searched online. The simple principle is:  "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you." My experience is that often the hardest person to forgive is myself. Learning to move on from mistakes, accept them and let go has been a continual practice for me. I find this quote a gentle reminder: “Forgiveness is not an occasional act, it is a constant attitude.”  ― Martin Luther King Jr. As always, please feel free to comment with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary

Kindness

14 November 2013 My first response to this card was..... a deep breath in and out, a little sigh of relaxation. Kindness, to me, is one of those qualities that does not arrive with fanfares or grand gestures. It just is. It just is what it is, kind. Being kind can make such a difference to everyday life. When I remember and pause to think what would be a kind reaction to other people, when I take that breath in before speaking and consider what a kind response would be - then life flows more smoothly. Whether at home or at work (and between the two, as I drive around sometimes busy roads), that pause for consideration can save me from a reaction I may regret later. Being kind to myself is another challenge. As comes up frequently in my reflections, whether here to share with you or privately in my journal, I am continually struck - when I pause to listen to myself - at the way I speak to myself. I read a moving description recently from a woman's account of her experience of depression, describing an extreme version of this. She wrote of her negative thoughts following her around the house like a bully.* How often do I bully myself instead of treating myself kindly? Using words such as 'stupid', 'idiot', plus the 'must, should' etc, etc. *(her name is Allie Brosh and she writes a perceptive and amusing cartoon blog) "Random acts of kindness" is a concept that appeals to me: smiling at a stranger and not knowing if that makes a difference; leaving a book I have finished on a train for someone else to read and enjoy; paying for the person in front of me in a coffee shop (though I haven't tried this one yet). I just popped away to research some quotes on 'kindness' and discovered that there is an organisation called The Random Acts of Kindness Foundation, lots of interesting things to look into there.  One quote that stood out for me was: Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change. Bob Kerrey (1943) American Politician This reminds me of a story my mother told me late in her life, after she'd had a stroke and had to move into a nursing home. She told me that one of the things she was proud of was the effect a seemingly chance encounter had on a family. She said that one day a woman she didn't recognise came up to her and said "You won't remember me, but the advice you gave years ago changed my son's life." Apparently on that occasion my mother had seen this person somewhere, visibly upset, and asked what was wrong. The story emerged that the woman's son was being bullied at school and was about to move up to secondary school along with the same boys who were doing the bullying. She was so worried and at her wit's end. My mother gently suggested that she could ask that he be enrolled at a different school in the area - something that wasn't generally an option in those days. This what she had done and now the son was just about to graduate from university with a bright future ahead. Coming across the quote above reminded me of this example of kindness being an agent of human change. Most often we will never be aware of the effect our kindness. It may not be as profound as the example above, but the ripples will have spread out from one person to another from the moment we decide to respond with kindness. The warm orange of the card adds to my feeling that 'Kindness' is a foundation that I can rely on when I feel the need for comfort myself or when I want to help others. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Beginnings

7 November 2013 Today I have had a luxury - plenty of time to write, and even more significantly, time to prepare to write. I began by playing with my pastel crayons, fun but messy and an easy way to doodle in colour. I was thinking about this card 'Beginnings' which has been my companion for two weeks. During this time I celebrated my birthday, so my thoughts of the bud of beginnings linked in with my own beginning. As a tiny baby, I contained the 'bud' of potential. And today that potential is still there, as still there are new aspects of my self to emerge as the years pass. At any time, any moment, I can pause and ask myself - what is beginning, where am I going, who am I being? Am I being ME or am I following someone else's expectations? As I experimented with the pastels I found the bud I was drawing at the centre of the paper was shaped like a heart, with a pink centre and a green border. There are a number of shoots emerging from the heart/bud, and it is surrounded by large question marks. At the end of each shoot is a different sort of flower. In one corner I found myself drawing in black, maybe a black cloud, then I encircled it with another green shoot and put in a glimmer of light in the centre of the blackness - which then exploded outwards into an impression of bright light. Sometimes the most significant beginnings come from the darkest night. Those black experiences, such as my own of cancer, can be the most transformational of catalysts for change. Realising I am writing about change, I think "Does a 'beginning' need to be about 'change?" Maybe sometimes, or maybe a gentle evolution, a growing, blossoming and blooming of what is already there. The potential already within my heart which is the true essence of ME, that potential is there and can emerge without drama or hardship. Looking back, my journey through life so far has been a series of beginnings, and, yes, a considerable amount of change. Looking back I see the patterns and cycles: times when I have lost my way; times when I have been offered guidance and have found my way home to myself. My beginnings this year, I now see, will be continuing the process I sketched out subconsciously in my picture. The gift of the black clouds that provide rain for the plants to grow and flower; the gift of the uncertainty, the questions. The gift of this little card bearing the word 'Beginnings' on the green background, that prompted me to reflect and appreciate the joy of all the beginnings still to come. ********************* The photo I took of my picture did not show it well enough to include here, so I have described it as well as I am able. Thank you to Kathy Kane for sparking some of the thoughts on 'Looking back', and especially for mentioning me and the cards in her blog post on Gratitude this week. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

November 2013 Newsletter

In this issue:

Reflections: Autumn and Aging
Inspiring links: Events, artists and nature

Reflections: Autumn and Aging

A few days after you receive this I will reach my 61st birthday. Today I picked up my copy of Anam Cara by John O'Donohue, which I haven't dipped into for a long while. There were two book marks I had left in the book, though I couldn't remember why exactly. I opened the book at the one closest to the back and smiled as I read, under the heading "Autumn and the Inner Harvest":

"It is customary to understand autumn as synchronous with old age. In the autumn time of your life your experience is harvested." and then: "Aging is not merely about the body losing its poise, strength and self-trust. aging also invites you to become aware of the sacred circle that shelters your life. Within the harvest circle, you are able to gather lost moments and experiences, bring them together and hold them as one. In actual fact, if you can come to see aging not as the demise of your body, but as the harvest of your soul, you will learn that aging can be a time of great strength, poise and confidence. To understand the harvest of your soul against the background of seasonal rhythm should give you a sense of quiet delight at the arrival of this time in your life. It should give you strength and a sense of how the deeper belonging of your soul world will be revealed to you."
Reference: p.208, Anam Cara, John O'Donohue 1997 Bantam Books (my copy - later editions are available)

These words bring me comfort and hope. Comfort that this time will see a benefit from the 'harvest of my soul' and hope that the 'deeper belonging of my soul world will be revealed to me'. I have been reflecting recently on how to calm what I call my 'busy-busy mind' (also known as monkey mind) and listen to the messages of my soul, my heart, my inner wisdom. It is proving difficult to do this at the moment, I am so used to using my mind to make decisions, usually based on what I 'ought to do' or 'should do'. When I follow the guidance and use meditation or flow writing to try to distinguish the deeper knowing, I am still not sure. I receive different messages. Which one should I follow? Should I do nothing? (Knowing that 'doing nothing' is a choice in itself). Is there another answer, another way of being, that I just cannot yet see?

Reading other people's words can help, but their way need not be my way. As my way will not be your way. The literal autumn happening around me here in Cornwall has some inspiration. As I write, our sheltered garden is still looking like summer - flowers are still in bloom, including the passion flower producing blooms outside for the first time ever this year. The trees on the more exposed banks and hedges are shedding their leaves. In this part of Cornwall the salty sea wind usually means that they are blasted straight off the trees without a chance to turn to those wonderful autumn colours seen in more sheltered woodland. (As in this picture below taken in the New Forest) 




Everything in nature is being itself, standing proud as the beech trees do: when their autumn colours are all gone then the beauty of their trunks are fully visible. The winter has a special gift enabling us to see the structure of the trees, the sturdy trunk, gnarled branches and tiny twigs, the buds already forming, waiting until the time is right in the spring to burst into life for a new year.

For you: whatever your age at present, some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• What messages does this season bring for you? (if you are in the southern hemisphere this will be spring)
• What can you do for yourself to connect to nature and simply enjoy this time?

Inspiring Links

Another mention of the Euro Coach List Conference coming up in November (16-17th) at Eastwood Park near Bristol. I hope to meet some of you there, it is possible to attend for one day or two, residential or day visitor. The grounds have a wonderful display of autumn colour at this time of year. As I think I mentioned in an earlier newsletter, the website this year contains links to interviews with all the speakers and these make interesting listening even if you cannot physically be there with us.

Some time ago I linked up with Kathy Kane of Kane Creative Consulting, based in New Jersey, USA. We have such a lot in common and it is wonderful to share that across the miles and by reading and commenting on each others blogs/newsletters. Just recently we arranged to have a talk and now I am about to embark on some coaching with Kathy to support my own personal and and professional development. Every coach needs a coach of their own at various times and Kathy has a perfect way for me of 'catching' what I say and reflecting it back to me. This enables me to truly 'hear' myself, which I may not be able to do otherwise, as described in my reflections above. I will share some of the process as time goes on.

Soon it will be impossible to avoid thinking about seasonal gifts, especially if, like me, you will be sending them off around the world. The wonderful artist annie b has a beautiful 'Magical Trees' calendar this year, plus her Angel card packs and greetings cards. Patrick Gamble has his original paintings, plus calendars, prints and cards of his own work  and other gifts from far and wide available in his gallery in Polperro. Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards are exclusively available direct from me, I can gift wrap and send direct to the person they are destined for if you wish, contact me by email for details of this.

Finally a film about underwater creatures to marvel at and amaze you with the wonders of nature.

Thank you for reading. Please do leave any comments or feedback if you feel inspired. Or email me direct if you prefer your remarks to be private, either way it is so good to know that people to read my monthly musings.

all best wishes

Mary

A special request

29 October 2013

This week I am pausing - I realised that I have just drawn out the twenty-fifth card from the pack. As there are 50 cards, this is half way through this particular journey. Six months ago I set myself the challenge of writing and sharing my thoughts with you, and I have mostly achieved that every week with just an occasional break.

The other reason for pausing now is that it is my birthday on Sunday - by a strange synchronicity (or maybe divine design?) these two significant points this year have coincided. How interesting at this time, a time when I tend to pause for reflection anyway. Reflection on the year past and the year to come. I have already started a piece on 'autumn and aging' for the November newsletter which will be with you in a few days.

So, this week I would like to hand over to you. I have used one of my favourite flower photos from my garden: the morning glory shining light out into the world. Do you feel that reading about my experiences with the cards has shed any light for you? Have you found the writing interesting? Boring? Irrelevant? Inspiring? Irritating? Amusing? Thought-provoking? (And if so - where have your thoughts taken you?)

I would be very interested, and grateful, if you would like to send me your own thoughts this week - either in an email by replying to this message (in which case please let me know if I can share them with others), or on one of my blog pages or the Dare to Blossom Life Coaching Facebook page.

Thank you for all your support over this year (and over many years to those of you who also read the monthly newsletter) It has certainly been a challenge, and has moved me forward in ways I do not yet fully appreciate.

"Normal service" will be resumed next week  As is the way with any 'random' prompts such as these cards - the one I have drawn is beautifully appropriate: "Beginnings".

As always, please feel free to comment below, if you have any difficulty just find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. (They also make easy-to-post gifts for others.)

Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings.

Until next time,

with love,
Mary

Hope

23 October 2013 My first thought on seeing this card was a memory of an Emily Dickinson poem that I love. I went on-line and found the words: "Hope" is the thing with feathers— That perches in the soul— And sings the tune without the words— And never stops—at all— And sweetest—in the Gale—is heard— And sore must be the storm— That could abash the little Bird That kept so many warm— I've heard it in the chillest land— And on the strangest Sea— Yet, never, in Extremity, It asked a crumb—of Me.  The idea of Hope 'perching in the soul' is such a powerful one for me: that in the darkest times I do not need somehow to find the strength to summon hope or to create it somehow. Rather, it is always with me, singing sweetly, and never 'asking a crumb of me'. I also see Hope as a female figure, maybe a guardian angel, always there even when I am not aware. All I need to do is listen, still my busy mind enough to really listen, to hear the song of hope. The colour of this card is a deep pink, similar to the colour of the 'Dare to Blossom passionflower'.. For me, today, it conveys a feeling of love and warmth, a security blanket to wrap myself in for comfort when needed. That reaction may be due to the wet and windy autumnal weather outside at the moment. At another time the combination of the colour and the word 'Hope' could feel bouncy and energetic. A note on the photos of the cards I include each week - the colours have not reproduced true to the actual versions, and in some cases they appear quite differently on the screen. For example, last week's 'Relaxation' card looks a much darker grey-blue than it is in reality - I realised this when someone commented that they wouldn't have chosen that colour. So, my apologies for that - though of course reaction to colour is subjective so the comment may still be true for them in any case! As with the words in these pieces, feel free to take anything from this that serves you well and ignore the rest. As always, please feel free to write with your thoughts and comments. If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary

Relaxation

17 October 2013 My first response on drawing this card out of the pack was...... to take a deep breath in, and then breathe out, and ... well, respond to the suggestion to 'relax'. Despite many years of practicing self-care and using many techniques (which all at heart come back to that one thing - breathing deeply) - I still benefit from that reminder. So often I fall into the trap of the busy-busy mind: "I'll relax when.......". Those 'whens' include any number of things that are never going to be 'done', completed or finished. They will never be done because they are the stuff of life itself: my daily work, at home and out in the world; things I choose to do such as reading, writing to friends, taking photos, writing newsletters such as this.  So why would I want them to be finished I wonder? I can choose not to do some of those things if I want to simplify my life. I can also choose that I will consciously take time to relax. As I sit here now writing to you, I am aware that my shoulders are tense; my hands are cold; I have my legs crossed at the ankle and tucked in an uncomfortable way under my seat; I am peering at the screen when I could easily put the light on. On top of all that I keep glancing at the clock as I have to leave for an appointment with my dentist soon. I can choose to relax instead  - by stretching, standing up, going outside for some fresh air. The colour of this card is another shade of blue - a soft blue/grey. Very soothing and calming, the colour of a winter sea perhaps, or a hazy sky. I choose to breathe that colour in deeply......., and breathe out any stress or pain. At this moment the breathing out colour is a jangling mish-mash of colours, the sort of bombardment that comes at me from all directions sometimes - TV, Internet, etc etc. It feels good to be breathing that back out and taking in the calm soft blue. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments.  If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary *if you have any difficulty accessing the 'blogspot' service, you can also read here on the Daring to Blossom website, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook.

Emerging

10 October 2013 This card has been so interesting, since drawing it last week it has been my companion and I seem  to have been surrounded by examples of 'emerging'. In addition to this, the soft but solid red colour feels grounding and supportive. It reminds me of the Devon sandstone which produces the most  luscious looking dark red soil in the fields and lanes in East Devon. And stunning red cliffs tumbling into  the sea near Exmouth where we will be visiting again soon. That area is the beginning of the 'Jurassic  Coast' that runs along to Lyme Regis where the eroding cliffs cause the emergence of new fossils. Yesterday I drove into and through the thickest fog I think I have ever experienced - on the same road  as when I wrote the piece I shared again with you recently. Then this morning there was a stunning  sunrise. As I was hanging my washing out on the line (these moments come amidst the most mundane  of daily activities), I was witness to a sky full of colour - so bright in the west that for a moment I  could have thought I was looking at the sunset. Then when I turned towards the sun rising in the  east, behind the trees, it was even more brilliant. The re-emergence of the sun each day is such a  miracle, even though I may know the science behind it (or maybe because I know?). What else is the 'Emerging' card showing me?  Recently a strong feeling of wanting to play with  colour has been emerging, maybe painting or getting out my wax art set again, or collage. And  photography is always a joy. This is a picture from the walk around Milngavie Reservoir with   my dear friends Mary, Gretel and Cynthia in August. I took several shots of this wonderful  tree with roots wrapped around a boulder and some magical creature apparently emerging from  the recess within. My final thought prompted by this card was 'connections' - I wonder why? Thinking 'aloud' now as I type this to share with you - another thing that has been emerging for me has been just that - connections. Connections with you, connections with new friends that I meet through shared interests and experiences. Often this is through email or online places - so the meeting is in a virtual world. The depth of connection can still be as strong as any physical meeting. Thank you for playing that important part, adding to the rich tapestry of connections and the emergence of that  in so many ways. As always, please feel free to comment below with your thoughts and comments, or find 'Dare to Blossom Life Coaching' on Facebook. If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and sharing my musings. Until next time, with love, Mary

Communication

3 October 2013 This card has been interesting. So much has been written about communication, including the chapter I wrote myself in Dare to Blossom: Coaching and Creativity. And "communication" is what I do all day in my work: putting over new ideas and concepts to people; helping them plan how best to communicate their own marketing messages about their new businesses; communicating with colleagues. When I drew this card last Thursday though - the first thing that came to mind was communicating with myself, and with my body. I've been going through a period of physical pain - new ones and flare-ups of pains that have been a companion for years. This can be a reminder to slow down and listen to my body, not to over-rule the messages with thoughts of 'must' and 'should'; of duty and responsibility. Yes, of course those are important, I need to fulfill my obligations at work and with my clients; and at home. And, in order to continue doing those things I need also to look after myself. When I first 'created' the Dare to Blossom Rediscovery Cards (or rather, helped them pop into being from out there somewhere) - my feeling was that they could act as a guide and a prompt to anyone who chooses to use them. Working through them slowly, week by week this has proved to be so for me, they have been a guide to communicating with my inner self, with my body indeed. A prompt to listen in a different way to my own inner wisdom and to guidance from elsewhere. As valuable and important as reflection and awareness is, nothing ever changes without action of some sort, even if that action is to stop doing something. Today I will take my own advice, give myself some time within my working day for self-care and for journaling. If you would like to own a set of cards to explore their power for yourself please visit the dedicated page. People are also telling me that their friends and family love receiving them as gifts, perhaps an idea (dare I mention it?!) for Christmas? Thank you dear friends for visiting with me again this week and reading my musings. Please do share any thoughts or comments below Until next time, with love, Mary

Dare to Blossom Newsletter October 2013

October 2013
 
In this issue:

Reflections: Losing track of time
Reflections 2: Driving into Fog
Inspiring conference: Euro Coach List Conference 2013

Reflections: Losing track of time
How interesting! Sitting down early this morning before getting ready to go out for my day's work I wrote in my journal before opening the laptop. I've been trying to get back into the habit of doing this, otherwise I find myself drawn into emails and 'busyness' without pausing first to reflect on yesterday and look forward to what today may bring.

So, opening my journal, I wrote the date - 30/9/13 - and then I realised that I had not given a moment's thought to the fact that I usually send out this newsletter on the last day of every month. For a second I almost began to berate myself for this - then stopped and thought again. Firstly it wouldn't matter if this was a few days late, or even if i didn't write at all this month. after all, I have been thinking about this week's Rediscovery Card in preparation for sharing my reflections with you.

Secondly - why had I lost track of time? There have been lots of interesting and exciting things going on, I'd been away for the weekend with my husband and had a great time. Yesterday I spent the afternoon planting out tiny seedlings that will provide us with nourishing vegetables and salad during the winter. And my daily work has been busy, facilitating groups of people who want to become self-employed or start their own business learning about how best to do this and coaching them one to one (not to mention the associated paperwork and coordination with colleagues).

I give thanks for my full days and fulfilling life. If at times it all seems a little (or a lot!) overwhelming - that is part of having that abundance and by pausing and reflecting like this I can see and appreciate that, and also take any actions I need to reduce any pressure.

..................................

Earlier this month - when I was thinking about writing for this October issue - this piece from June 21012 came to mind so I will share it again here for you.

Reflections 2: Driving into Fog (June 21012)
Over the last week the area where I live in North Cornwall has been swathed in a thick fog, especially on the coast. Driving in it is an eery experience. It is quite frightening: when coming up behind a vehicle and I realise I can hardly see it is there, even if they have their fog lights on. Can the people behind me see my lights?

I take special care and look out for signs to show me where side roads are coming in to the road I am travelling on in case a car pulls out (though I should always be doing that, I think to myself). The usually familiar landmarks have disappeared, even though it is daylight I feel literally disorientated.

Sometimes I feel life is like this. I think I have things planned and 'know' what will happen to a reasonable certainty. Often this is not the case (as John Lennon said "Life is what happens while you are making other plans.") but as long as things only vary a certain amount I can cope with that.

At other times life can change in an instant: an accident, news of the death of a friend or relative, diagnosis of an illness, a job loss. Some of these things, such as the job loss, may be known in advance - but the day actually comes when you no longer get up and go to a familiar place of work - then the feeling of disorientation can set in.

The change may be one that is seen as positive: attaining a big goal such as graduating from university, finishing writing a book, even perhaps (though I have yet to experience this one!) winning a large sum of money on a lottery.

How can we deal with the feeling of having the foundations of our lives rocked? Literally in the case of people living in an earthquake zone, and - not joking this time - what that is like is unimaginable for me. People around the world, including my own family in New Zealand,  are somehow carrying on with that knowledge every day.

Some people have a strong faith to support them: in their God however they name that entity, in the Universe, in the strength and goodness of human nature. People often say that a disaster brings out the best in people and also makes them reassess their true values. Some people seem to remain centred in any circumstances, maybe because they have a solid and supportive sense of who they are and what is true for them.

For you: some suggestions for your journal or meditation reflections:

• At those times in life that are like 'driving into fog', what is your rock, your solid core on which you depend?
• Make a list of those things that are truly important to you. This list may look very similar to a list of your values, these are the things that will survive no matter what happens, that will carry you through.
• Consider if you want to strengthen those values or bring more of those important things into your life right now. Maybe spend more time with friends, visit your family, spend time outdoors in nature.
• Visualise or meditate on strengthening your roots, see yourself as grounded in the earth we all share, enjoying the air around you, gaining sustenance from fresh water and good food.

Postscript today, 30th September: reflecting again - on losing track of time and on driving into fog - has illuminated for me the importance of pausing and honouring my feelings at any time. And enabled me to see again how that pause, that time to draw breath, can help me soften my own self-judgement and refocus. I hope it does the same for you too, do share your thoughts in a comment below

Inspiring conference: Euro Coach List Conference 2013

If you are interested in coaching in any form or any environment this may be of interest to you. This year will be my fourth visit, and my third to the lovely location at Eastwood Park. The title of the conference this year is "Reaching New Heights" If you're curious there are audio interviews with all the speakers that you may enjoy even if you are unable to go along. The topics range from The Inner Alchemist to Doing Business with Blue Chips. Something for everyone, and in my experience, the real highlights are often in the conversations in between, especially if you choose the residential option. Perhaps I'll see you there?

Thank you for reading. Feel free to forward this to anyone who may be interested.

all best wishes

Mary